


One Crazy Night

by mysensitiveside



Category: Popular (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-27
Updated: 2011-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-18 17:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysensitiveside/pseuds/mysensitiveside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Brooke are in college. What happens in the aftermath of one crazy night...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N1:** Most chapters are rated PG-13, but a few are rated R. I'll make a note for the higher ratings.  
>  **A/N2:** This is a futurefic, where Sam and Brooke are in college.  
>  **A/N3:** Thoughts are in [ ]. And memories/flashbacks are in _italics._

PART 1 -- Freshman Year

Chapter 1

Brooke’s head hurt. A lot. She could tell that light was streaming into her room, but she couldn’t quite face opening her eyes just yet. As she lay motionlessly on her bed, flashes of memory suddenly came streaming back to her...

 _  
Her hands entangling themselves into the long hair of the girl below her.   
_

_  
Their lips coming together, first with hesitation, then with passion.   
_

_  
Soft hands urgently pressing on Brooke’s shoulders, pushing her farther downwards...   
_

[ Oh god. ]

Was it all a dream? Instantly, Brooke became aware of the fact that she was not alone in her bed. How could she have missed this very obvious bit of information?? Her heart racing, Brooke finally teased open her eyes, bracing for the sunlight and whatever else she might find.

[ Yes, there is definitely a girl in my bed, but I can’t quite see her face. And her shoulder is making a very comfortable pillow. And I’m half on top of her. And neither of us is wearing clothing. Shit. What’s going on?? ]

The stillness of the room was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a vibrating phone, sitting on top of Brooke’s desk. As quickly as she could, Brooke extracted herself from the arms wrapped around her and rushed across the small room, grabbing the phone before it could wake up her peaceful bedmate.

“Hello?” she whispered harshly into the phone.

“Brooke? Why are you whispering?” was the reply on the other end.

“Nic? Why are you calling so early?”

“Early? Brooke, it’s 12:30! You never sleep in this late. What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”

Brooke whirled around to look at her clock. Sure enough, Nic was right. But her clock was sitting on the small table right next to her bed. Her bed that was not empty. Her bed that was occupied by -- she had been afraid to look, afraid to confirm her suspicions, but now she couldn’t help it -- occupied by Sam. Her step-sister. Her very naked step-sister.

[ Oh god. Not good. ]

Sam had rolled over onto her side, cuddling up with Brooke’s pillow. Brooke had just enough time to think about how cute Sam looked. Then she remembered that she too was naked, and she was still on the phone with Nic. Grabbing the bathrobe hanging on the back of her door, she quickly pulled it on and turned back away from Sam, while Nic practically yelled in her ear.

“Hellooooo?? Brooke, what the hell is going on?!”

“Um, sorry Nic. It’s just that, um, we had a party on the hall last night. And, um, yeah. I was up pretty late. And now my head really hurts. And I’m sure that, um, lots of other people on the hall are still sleeping too. And um, you know, walls are really thin here. So yeah, that’s why I’m, um, whispering.”

There was a slight pause. Brooke cringed, knowing that Nic wasn’t likely to buy her awkward explanation.

“That’s bullshit, McQueen.” Another pause, then, with excitement in her voice, “You slut! Who’s in your bed?? That’s why you’re acting all weird!”

“What?!” Brooke answered, louder than she meant to. She heard Sam start to stir behind her, but she refused to look back there. Returning back to whispering, she quickly went on, “No one is in my bed! Because right now, I’M not in my bed, and there is definitely no one else in there either.”

[ Don’t panic. Don’t panic. ]

“You are such a bad liar, Brookie. I’ve always told you that.” Brooke could practically hear the smirk that she just knew was spreading across Nic’s face.

“Look, Nic, this conversation has been lots of fun. But like you said, it’s late. And I have a lot of stuff to get done today, so I gotta go. But we’ll talk again later, sometime, okay? Great, bye!” And she hung up without waiting for an answer, and then immediately shut off her phone.

[ Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Hopefully Sam’s not awake yet, and then... And then what? We’re in my room, so it’s not like I can just leave. And what if she is awake? And I’m just standing here like an idiot, looking at my phone. ]

Slowly, Brooke turned around. Sam was sitting up in her bed, the sheets pulled up tightly to her chin. She just stared at Brooke with a definite deer-caught-in-headlights look. Brooke was sure that the look mirrored the one on her own face. They just stared at each other. Neither one daring to move.

Then Sam suddenly sprang into motion, jumping out of bed and grabbing the first bits of clothing she came across -- her own pants, but Brooke’s shirt, pulling it on inside out.

Brooke just watched the frantic action, unsure of what to do. Sam finally stood up fully, glancing briefly at Brooke’s stunned face, before her eyes continued sweeping the room, and she spoke her first words since waking up.

“Where’s my key to my room? I have to go.”

Grateful for something to do, Brooke also started looking around the room, her eyes finally landing on Sam’s keychain, halfway hidden under Brooke’s bra on the floor.

Reaching down to pick it up, she simply held it out to Sam, without saying anything. Sam grabbed the keys from her, mumbled what sounded vaguely like “Thanks,” and quickly left the room, leaving Brooke alone.

Brooke simply collapsed into the chair behind her and banged her head down on the desk.

[ What a great start to my day. ]


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sam and Brooke sat next to each other on the plane. Sam had managed to avoid Brooke for most of the day before, and she was pretty sure that Brooke was purposely avoiding her too. But now, seeing as how they were both flying across the country, each heading to the same exact house, there wasn’t much that either of them could do about it.

So they sat uncomfortably. And said nothing.

[ This sucks. What am I supposed to do? Brooke won’t talk to me. Or maybe she’s just not talking to me because I’m not talking to her. But in order to find out if that’s true, I would have to talk to her. Which I really don’t want to do. I wonder what she’s thinking about right now. Damn it, why did we decide that going to the same college and living in the same dorm would be a good idea? This sucks. ]

For the hundredth-or-so time in the past few days, Sam tried to remember exactly what had happened on that Thursday, the last week before Winter break.

 _ A smiling Brooke walked up to Sam’s table at the dining hall, where she sat eating lunch, looking over the latest edition of the school newspaper and making sure no typos were left in the final print. Sam looked up and couldn’t help but smile back. The girl’s obvious happiness was infectious. _

_ Brooke walked right passed a surprised Sam, continuing around the table until she was standing behind her step-sister. Then she happily wrapped her arms tightly around the brunette, hugging her from behind, before finishing her trip around the table and sitting down across from Sam. _

_ Sam smiled and raised one eyebrow in question, so Brooke explained, “Sorry, I just wanted to give you a hug, but didn’t want to make you get up, so I figured that this was the easiest, if somewhat roundabout solution.” _

_ Sam just laughed in response. “You goofball. So what’s up?” _

_ “I’m done! I am officially done with my first semester of college! I just handed in my last paper, and it’s probably a piece of crap, but I honestly don’t care anymore. So I’m done!” _

_ “Hey, that’s great! Congrats!” And Sam proceeded to jump out of her chair, jog behind Brooke, hug her from behind, and then continue back to her own seat. Anyone watching the two friends would have thought they were somewhat insane. “Well we should celebrate! I took my last exam this morning, and our flight home isn’t until Saturday, so we totally have to have some fun tonight and make fun of our friends who are still working.” _

_ “Actually that’s what I came over to talk to you about. Most of my hall is done early too, and it’s Charlie’s birthday, so we’re having a party. You totally have to come by and drink with us.” _

_ Sam smiled. “Sounds like fun.” _

[ And it had been a lot of fun. But how did it end with me waking up in Brooke’s bed on Friday morning? ]

Sam kept facing straight ahead, but glanced over so she could see Brooke out of the corner of her eye. The blonde had fallen asleep. Sam sighed, and allowed her thoughts to return back to that crazy night.

 _ Sam watched Brooke dance with Charlie, the birthday boy. Brooke caught her eye and made a facial expression that made it obvious that she wasn’t very happy with the situation. Sam just grinned back at her, and laughed to herself. _

_ [ That’s what you get, Princess, for being such a hottie. You always did tell me that being blonde and beautiful wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. ] _

_ Then Sam noticed Katie, her roommate, and went over to join her. Katie had quickly become good friends with both Sam and Brooke. Together, the three of them had inspired the telling of quite a few jokes about, “a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.” _

_ “Hey, Sam, there you are. I was wondering where you’d gone off to. Your sister seems to be having a great time with Charlie. That guy seriously needs to work on being less sleazy.” _

_ “Seriously. And she’s my STEP-sister, not my sister.” _

_ “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You both keep telling me that, but I can just never seem to remember those extra four little letters. I mean, does it really matter?” _

_ Sam considered the question, taking another swig of her drink, as she watched Brooke squeeze away from Charlie and make her way over to the keg. _

_ “Damn, I’m not drunk enough for this party yet. My drink still tastes like shit. And yes, it does matter. Whether Brooke and I were at each other’s throats, or were actually friends, our relationship has never been exactly...sisterly.” _

_ But soon Sam’s second drink turned into her sixth, and she no longer noticed the bad taste to the cheap alcohol. And before she quite knew how it had happened, she was dancing with Brooke. Brooke drunkenly draped her arms over Sam’s shoulders, as Sam clumsily placed her hands on Brooke’s waist and pulled their bodies together. _

_ “Sammy, I just want you to know that I’m really really glad that we’ve become friends.” _

_ Sam giggled. “I know, Brooke. You make a point of telling me that every time we get drunk.” _

_ “Well it’s true! I mean, I eventually forgave Nic and everything, but ever since the accident, you’ve become the only person I can count on. The only person I really trust to always be there for me.” _

_ Brooke leaned forward and softly kissed Sam on the forehead. _

[ And then what? Then everything gets fuzzy. How did we get from dancing at the party, with so many people around...to standing in Brooke’s room, just the two of us? I honestly can’t remember how we got there. Does Brooke remember? What would happen if I asked her? But I can’t ask her! That would be way too embarrassing. So what else do I remember on my own? I remember kissing her. Lying down on her bed, pulling her on top of me. Flashes of us together. Was it good? I think it felt pretty good. And then waking up to her talking on the phone with Nicole, with Satan. I couldn’t handle it, I just had to get out of there. Shit! I can’t believe this happened, how the hell did this happen? ]

Sam groaned in frustration, waking up Brooke, who glanced over at her. Sam glanced back, before clenching her jaw and resolutely turning to look out the window. To look away from Brooke.

[Well, it's going to be a long vacation. ]


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  


Brooke found that it was a strange situation, living in such close proximity to Sam, but not talking with her. Their relationship had entered a new phase. They had been bitter enemies, friendly rivals, and close friends...but this was new, this weird and silent limbo where they weren’t quite fighting, but they certainly weren’t friendly with each other either. Brooke knew that their parents didn’t quite know what to make of it, since neither girl would explain why she wasn’t talking to the other one.  


Brooke herself didn’t know what to make of the situation. She missed having Sam as her best friend. She thought about trying to just talk to her about what had happened, but the prospect of that was just way too frightening. So she just went along with it, avoiding the silent and brooding brunette whenever possible. Which was relatively easy to do, since Sam was avoiding her too. But it was getting closer and closer to Christmas, and Brooke had a feeling that Jane and her dad wouldn’t let them get out of the “family bonding time” that was sure to come. She worried that this was just “the calm before the storm;” inevitably, the silence was bound to break at some point, and Brooke had a vague feeling that it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Just then, Brooke heard Sam enter the house and hurry up the stairs. The footsteps stopped for a moment outside Brooke’s door, but then returned down the hall and into Sam’s room. And as had come to be the norm, this was immediately followed by the sound of Sam’s loud music breaking into the stillness of the house.

Brooke sighed, looking down at the book that she held in her hands, but hadn’t been paying at all attention to.

[ I’m pretty sure Sam was just out with Lily and Carmen. I wonder if she told them about what happened. That would make for some nice awkwardness the next time I see them. But they’ve come to be my friends too. Now that Sam and I aren’t talking, though, I wonder if I can still hang out with them while we’re all home. I mean, they’ve been friends with Sam for so much longer, they’ll obviously side with her. But what am I talking about? This isn’t really something you can take sides on. We’re not on opposite sides of anything. Are we? I just wish I knew wha-- ]

Startled by a loud and sudden knocking at her door, Brooke jumped off her bed, mid-thought, but then sat back down, trying to appear casual and indifferent to whomever might be outside her room.

“Come in.” Unfortunately, her voice betrayed her, as she answered with an obvious nervousness.

Sam entered her room and then simply leaned back against the door, staring intensely at Brooke. Shifting uncomfortably, Brooke just sat there, then went with the first thing that popped into her head. “God, Sam, do you have to keep that music blaring, when you’re not even in your room?” It came out sounding harsher than she’d meant it to.

Without a word, Sam turned and left the room.

[ Damn it, now I’ve gone and scared her off. Good job, Brooke. ]

But before Brooke could worry much about it, she heard Sam’s music turn off, and then Sam was immediately back in her room.

“There. You happy now?”

Sam didn’t sound very happy.

“Yeah, thanks,” Brooke mumbled. Pause. “So what’s up?”

Sam just continued to glare at Brooke for a moment, before finally breaking the silence. “Okay, so you know that crazy thing that happened the last week at school? That thing that we haven’t talked about?”

Brooke opened her mouth to speak, but Sam just continued, starting to pace around the room. “Well I don’t really want to talk about it. ‘Cause that’s just not a conversation that I want to have. ‘Cause that would be really awkward. I mean, this is already really awkward, but that would be even more awkward. Still, I think it’s safe to say that it was a really bad idea, but we were drunk, and it happened, and there’s nothing we can do about it now.But like I said, I don’t really want to talk about it. But I just want to get one thing clear. You haven’t told anyone about that thing that happened, have you?”

Sam finally stopped pacing and stood staring expectantly at Brooke. Brooke merely blinked, still trying to process Sam’s sudden and very rapid outburst.

“Well?? Have you?!”

“Uh, no. No, I haven’t told anyone. Why, have you?”

“No, of course not. And I think it should stay that way. Right?” When Brooke failed to say anything quickly enough for Sam’s liking, Sam just continued talking. “Right. So we won’t tell anyone. ‘Cause I don’t think anyone else needs to know. Well now that that’s settled, I’m gonna go.” And she walked back out of Brooke’s room without another glance towards the blonde.

Brooke watched Sam leave with a stunned, and somewhat pissed-off, expression on her face.

[ So that’s it? That’s all she has to say to me?! She just waltzes in here, barely lets me get a word in, and then waltzes out. Of course, just because the almighty Sam doesn’t feel like talking about what happened, then we have to put everything on her terms. And of course, she doesn’t care about the fact that all this is confusing as hell, and I don’t know what to think, and I don’t know what to do...all she cares about is making sure no one knows that the perfectly-straight little Sammy hooked up with a girl! ]

Brooke groaned in frustration and threw her book across the room -- a sound that was drowned out by the once again blaring volume of Sam’s music down the hall.

[ Is vacation over yet? ]


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sam returned to her room and let out a big sigh. She’d been extremely nervous about approaching Brooke. Especially since it meant mentioning “that thing that happened,” as she’d been calling it in her head. Once she started talking, though, her goal had become very simple: get out of Brooke’s room as quickly as possible.

[ So Brooke hasn’t told anyone. Well that’s good. It totally freaked me out when Lily and Carm started practically harassing me, trying to figure out why I was in a bad mood, and why I hadn’t brought Brooke with me. What would they think, if they knew what had happened? Lily probably wouldn’t care. Carmen would be shocked and probably wouldn’t stop gaping at me for at least ten minutes. But if Brooke had told Satan, that would have been a total disaster. I know Nic has gone through all that therapy and rehab, and is supposedly “a changed woman” and all that crap, but whatever. I will never trust that girl, and I think Brooke’s an idiot for forgiving her.

But anyway, the whole thing isn’t really a big deal, right? It was a momentary lapse in judgment. A one-time-only thing. I mean, it’s not like I want Brooke or anything. There’s no denying that she’s beautiful, but that doesn’t mean that I want her. That would be so weird. Not that there’s anything wrong with girls wanting other girls. But that’s just not me. Or Brooke. I mean, come on, how crazy and messed up would that be? Brooke probably hasn’t been worrying about it at all. She seemed totally cool about everything when I came in. Just sitting there, reading a book. Not freaking out, like I’ve been. She’s probably in her room now, laughing at me and my horrible bit of rambling in there. ]

Sam stopped pacing around her room as she heard her mom call them down to dinner. She was so busy worrying about whether or not Brooke had told anything to anyone, that she had forgotten to arrange it so that she wouldn’t have to eat dinner at the Palace. Well she’d been meaning to spend some more time with little Mac, anyway. Plus, her mom and Mike probably would have killed her, if they went another night without all five of them together.

[ I guess I’ll just have to try to make the best of this. ]

~~~

Dinner was not going well. Sam was somewhat surprised to find that Brooke wasn’t simply ignoring her as much as possible; instead, she was actively glaring at Sam with an open hostility. This, in turn, put Sam on edge, because she wasn’t sure what it was that had angered Brooke. Mike and Jane, meanwhile, sat helplessly by, wondering what in the world was going on between their eldest daughters, and trying desperately to both keep a decent conversation going and keep Mac happy.

“So, Sam...Jane tells me that you’ve been enjoying working on the newspaper. A little different than running The Zapruder, though, huh?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s been pretty good. I’m not doing too much now, but I’ve written a few articles, and they have me doing some copy editing.

Brooke suddenly jumped into the conversation, adding, “Oh come on, Sam, no need to be modest. Within a few weeks of getting back to school in January, I bet you’ll be running the whole thing.”

Sam just looked at Brooke in confusion. Though her words had sounded like they could be a compliment, the tone in Brooke’s voice made it obvious that it was anything but. “What?” was all Sam could think of to reply.

“Well I know how much you love to be in control of everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re planning a major coup at the newspaper, so that you can run everything exactly the way you want to.”

“Brooke, what are you talking about? I’ve actually told you about how it’s been nice to take a step back and not be in charge of everything, for once. So what, is making shit up about me some new hobby of yours?”

“No, I’m just starting to see this controlling side of you that I hadn’t really noticed before.”

“Well you’re one to talk! Aren’t eating disorders all about needing to be in control?”

Brooke winced. “Oh, that’s a low blow, Sam, even for you.”

“Girls! That’s enough! I thought you two had gotten passed this crazy need you have to fight with each other!” Mike sighed, looking between the girls with a mixture of anger, frustration, and sadness.

“Yeah, well, apparently not,” Brooke replied sullenly, still glaring across the table at Sam.

Somehow, the dinner continued relatively uneventfully for a while. Sam didn’t really want to fight with Brooke. She felt this urge to not let the argument go, but she managed to keep it in check for a while. Mac was even able to lighten the mood a bit with her excited shouts of “Bam!” and “Book!” Mac hadn’t quite mastered the “s” or “r” sounds yet, and had apparently decided that both of her sisters’ names should start with the same letter. Unfortunately, the cease fire didn’t even last through the rest of the meal...

Jane once again tried to start what she hoped would be a safe topic. “So Brooke, we’ve heard a lot about Sam’s roommate, but how’s your roommate situation going?”

Before Brooke got a chance to answer, though, Sam immediately jumped in, with a sweetly sarcastic tone. “Oh, didn’t Brooke tell you? Miss Amazing over there has managed to charm her way into a single, so that she doesn’t have to deal with the annoyances of actually sharing a room.”

“Come on, Sam, that’s completely unfair, and you know it. I only have a single because my roommate spends literally all her time in her boyfriend’s room! They used to actually be in my room all the time, and I’d end up getting kicked out of my own room, just so they could hook up! So yes, I asked Maria if she would mind going to his room sometimes, and I’ve seen her maybe twice since then. What’s wrong with that?”

“Whatever. The fact remains that you’ve worked your way into a room for yourself that’s meant for two people!”

“Well it’s still smaller than your room. And you like your roommate, anyway! This is ridiculous!”

Sam’s next retort was interrupted by Mac, who had begun to cry. Jane scooped the child into her arms, trying to comfort her, and then glared at her other daughters. “There. Are you girls happy now? You’ve managed to ruin the first meal that we’ve all had together in months. I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I suggest that it stops, at least when the rest of us are around.”

Sam and Brooke looked down at their plates ashamedly. Jane didn’t need to speak very loudly, but Sam heard her disappointment loud and clear. She didn’t really know why she had continued fighting with Brooke. It was like some kind of horrible compulsion.

The dinner was completed without another word. Sam ventured a look around the table. Her mom and Mike still looked upset. Mac had calmed down and was once again oblivious to the tension at the table. Brooke looked a combination of angry and contrite. Sam sighed.

[ I wonder if we’ll both survive this school year without killing each other. ]


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Brooke walked through the store, unable to focus on the usually enjoyable activity of shopping. She also wasn’t able to focus properly on the girl walking and talking beside her, and barely managed to utter “yeah,” or “sure,” or “of course,” whenever it seemed appropriate within the stream of conversation. But Brooke’s mind was not on the task of shopping, or of listening to Nicole talk.

Brooke’s mind was still on Sam, as it had been a lot lately. Since that disastrous dinner a few weeks ago, the two step-sisters had reached some kind of silent truce. They still weren’t talking much, and still got into the occasional petty argument, but Brooke hadn’t had the urge to throw anything at Sam recently, and she took that to be a good sign. Now she just had to worry about what would happen when they went back to school in a few days.

Just then, she noticed that Nicole was staring expectantly at her.

[ Shit, apparently Nic asked me something. Can I play it off as if I know what she’s talking about? No, it’s too late for that. ]

Brooke sighed and gave Nic an apologetic half-smile. “Sorry, I zoned out for a second. What did you say?”

“Brooke, you did not just zone out for one second. You’ve been off in your own la-la-land all afternoon, and frankly, I need more attention than that. I’ve dealt with your little one-word bits of input into my monologue, and while I don’t really mind listening to myself talk, this is just not working for me. So spill. What’s your deal?”

“Huh? Nothing. I just, I dunno. It’s weird being back here after a semester of college, you know?”

[ Well that’s true, but not exactly the answer Nic’s looking for. ]

Nic just stared intently at Brooke, apparently trying to intimidate the full truth out of her. Brooke eyed her friend warily before continuing, “You know, you’re pretty scary when you look like that. Mind easing off a bit?”

“Fine. For now. But I know you’re not telling me everything, and I assure you that I will find out what’s going on with you. I don’t like it when things are happening around me that I don’t know about.”

[ Great. So now I’ve got both Sam and Nicole to worry about. Okay, step one: start acting more interested in whatever Nic is talking about. ]

Things returned to normal for a while, and Nicole seemed happier with the increased attention. But then Nic brought up one of the topics that Brooke had hoped to avoid that afternoon.

“By the way…you haven’t been babbling as much as usual about Spam, your new BFF. How come? Are you two fighting again? Have you come to your senses and realized what a hopeless loser she is?”

[ Okay, really don’t want to talk about this...think fast. ]

“Uh, no, Sam’s fine. I just know how much you two still hate each other, so I thought you’d appreciate it if I didn’t start ‘babbling’ about her, as you so kindly put it.”

“Oh, how sweet of you. However, I still don’t believe you. Over this whole break, you haven’t tried to force us all to hang out together, even once. And as much as I may have appreciated it, it’s out of character for you. You’re hiding something from me, Brookie, and you should know by now that I’m going to figure it out eventually, so you might as well just get it over with.”

[ Just to get her off my back, I almost want to tell her everything that happened. You know, if I timed this right, I bet I could get her to spit out that iced latte she’s sipping...that sight might almost be worth it. But no, probably not a good idea. ]

With a sigh, Brooke decided to go with the easiest option for now: denial. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nic. I think college has made you paranoid.”

“Yeah, okay. Anyway, this reminds me of the last time that I accused you of lying to me. Remember that time a few days before you got home, when I called you, and you were acting all weird and whispery? Yeah, what was THAT all about? I totally forgot about it until now.”

Brooke’s eyes widened as she practically choked on the frappaccino she was sipping.

[ Well that’s kind of ironic. And we’ve now arrived at topic #2 that I didn’t want to talk about today. ]

“Um, just like I told you that day. I was all disoriented because you had just woken me up, and I dunno, I was probably still a little drunk or something, and walls ARE really thin...”

Brooke continued to ramble for a bit, but she could feel her face flush and hear her voice rise in pitch. This was not going well.

Nicole just smirked in a very self-satisfied way. “Uh huh, whatever you say, McQueen. So I now know for a fact that you’re trying -- and failing miserably, I might add -- to cover up something that happened that morning, or the night before. Add that to the fact that you’re not getting along with Spam...”

Brooke tried to interrupt, but Nicole just shushed her calmly, and continued. “Right, so let’s say that these two facts are related. And yes, they are facts, hun, so don’t even bother trying to deny it. Anyway, that would lead me to my best guess at the moment, which is that you slept with some guy that Spam was crushing on. So am I right?”

Brooke just gaped at Nic for a second. “What? No!’”

“Hmmm. No, that would be too simple, and you wouldn’t be trying so hard to pretend nothing had happened if that’s all it was. So I’m close, but not exactly there. But I’m getting bored with this game, so I’ll let it go. For now.”

[ Okay, that was way too close for comfort. How does she DO that?? ]

Letting her mind wander once again, Brooke considered the girl beside her as she idly looked through the clothing rack at her fingertips. Over the past year and a half, Brooke had often wondered how she and Nicole had ever been good friends.

[ Nic and Sam are so different. Polar opposites. But I’ve thought of both of them as my best friend at some point or another. I know Sam thinks I’m an idiot for forgiving Nicole. But what Sam doesn’t understand is that Nic has always been a part of my life, and I don’t know how to let her go. But I don’t trust her. I will never fully trust Nicole ever again. I mean, how could I? And Nic knows it, too. She knows that her power over me is a lot weaker than it used to be.

And then there’s Sam. What am I going to do with that girl? She’s smart, and irritating, and funny, and stubborn, and caring, and obnoxious, and if my vocabulary was as big as Sam’s then I could keep going for a while. But now she can barely stand the sight of me. And I miss her. ]

Brooke barely noticed as Nicole went to try on some clothes. Nic had seemed to realize that getting Brooke to focus on anything was a lost cause at that point.

[ I wonder if it's possible for me to love Sam and hate her at the same time. ]


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sam woke up with a start, sweat covering her body. She’d had that dream again. Well, she didn’t know whether to call it a dream, or simply a memory while sleeping. Because it wasn’t like it was some fictional product of her subconscious mind. It was just an instant replay of that horrible night.

 _ It was the night of Junior Prom, and Sam, Brooke, andHarrison sat awkwardly at the restaurant. Sam didn’t know why they had created this awful situation for themselves. She didn’t even really want to dateHarrison. But he was about to give his choice, to make the final decision between long-term crush and long-term friend. _

_ Suddenly, Brooke stood up. “You know what? I don’t want to know. Because this is ridiculous, and it’s only going to end badly. So I’m taking myself out of the running. And now I have to go.” _

_ And then she just left, running from the building. Without thinking, Sam jumped up and followed, while a stunnedHarrison remained at the table with his head in his hands. _

_ “This is not what I wanted.” Brooke sounded so calm. _

_ “This is not what I wanted, Brooke, okay? Just stop!” Everything was getting out of control, and Sam felt the threat of oncoming tears. _

_ But Brooke just kept going, out into the middle of the street. And roaring around the corner, the sound of screeching tires. Sam saw the car, recognized it even, but couldn’t find her voice right away. Then, shouting out desperately, “Brooke! No!” _

_ Sam watched in horror as Brooke stopped and turned to stare at the car in front of her. Both Brooke and Sam seemed to be frozen in shock. But right at the last second, right when Sam thought the car might be close enough for Brooke to see who was inside, Brooke moved to her right, and Nicole swerved in the opposite direction. Still, it was too late to avoid each other, and the edge of the car collided with Brooke’s body with a sickening sound. _

_ Finally, Sam found that she could move again, and she was running down the stairs, running toward the heap on the ground that she knew to be Brooke. Tears were streaming down her face at this point, as she crouched down beside the moaning figure on the pavement. _

_ [ Okay, okay. She’s not dead. It’ll be alright. Don’t panic. Fuck, what am I gonna do? ] _

_ “Brooke? Brooke, can you hear me? You’re alright. Everything is going to be alright.” _

_ “Sam?” Brooke’s eyes fluttered open. There was a deep gash across her forehead, and her leg was bent at an unnatural angle. _

_ “Yes, I’m here, Brooke. I’m here. What do you need? What can I do?” _

_ “It hurts, Sammy. Why did she do it?” _

_ Sam didn’t need to ask to know about whom Brooke was talking. She brushed some hair out of Brooke’s eyes, and found that her hands were shaking. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Brooke. But you’ll be okay. Right? You’ll be okay. You have to be okay.” _

_ “I’m not worried, Sam. I know you’ll take care of me.” _

_ Sam felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see an EMT standing behind her. She hadn’t even heard the sirens from the ambulance. _

_ “Sorry, Miss. Can I get down to see her? We have to get her on a stretcher, so we can take her to the hospital.” _

_ Sam silently stood up and moved a little out of the way, so that the EMTs could work. She saw some more people dealing with Nicole, who had crashed into a tree. As Brooke’s stretcher was raised off the ground, Sam felt a weak hand reach out to her. She grasped tightly onto Brooke’s hand, raising it to place a light kiss on the soft skin. Her eyes locked with Brooke’s, and Sam could see the immense pain behind those hazel eyes. She had to let go of Brooke’s hand briefly, as they lifted her into the ambulance, but they reconnected as soon as Sam returned to her side. _

_ As the ambulance door was about to close, Sam caught a quick glimpse of a terrifiedHarrison, standing outside. She had completely forgotten about him, but shouted out, “Call our parents! Meet us at the hospital!” _

_ Then her eyes returned to Brooke’s, which were shut tightly in pain. She gave her hand a squeeze and whispered soft encouragements. She tried to be strong, tried not to fall apart in front of Brooke, as panicked thoughts ran through her mind. _

_ [ Brooke’s strong. She’ll be fine. But what if she’s not? I never really hated her. I don’t know what I’ll do if she...no, I don’t even want to think it. She’ll be fine. She has to be. ] _

_ Sam felt the tears still spilling from her eyes and made no effort to stop them or brush them aside, as the ambulance sped on towards the hospital. _

It was then that Sam woke up from the horrible memory of that night. It had happened almost two years ago, but she still had that identical nightmare every once in a while. It had been a long time since the last one, though. Probably not since first semester.

Now, Sam sat up in bed in her dorm room, as her mind went through the rest of that hellish period in her life.

 _ Waiting anxiously in the hospital for news about Brooke. Finally speaking with the doctor -- Brooke’s left leg was broken in two different places, she had a few broken ribs, and there was some internal bleeding. Sitting beside Brooke’s hospital bed, as she waited for her step-sister to wake up after surgery. Going with Brooke to physical therapy. Spending almost all her time at the blonde’s side. _

_ It had been an incredibly difficult time for everyone involved. Once Brooke was able to focus on anything other than the pain, she had become angry. Angry at anything and everything. Sam was the only one who could ever get Brooke to calm down. It happened quickly and naturally, the two of them becoming best friends. Sam didn’t really know why the prospect of losing her step-sister had hit her so hard, but she didn’t question it. _

Her dream had made Sam want to go check on Brooke. Reassure herself that Brooke really was okay. But Brooke wasn’t just right next door, like at home. She was five floors down, and their friendship still hadn’t completely recovered since that thing that happened, almost four months ago.

Now, though, Sam was once again surrounded by that horrible fear she had felt the night of Junior Prom -- fear that she was losing Brooke. Brooke had been the first person to break down a few of the walls that Sam had put up when her dad died. And while it was comforting, in a way, to finally let her guard down and let someone inside, it was terrifying too.

[ Maybe that’s why I freaked out so much after we hooked up. Because it wasn’t just the fact that she was a girl. It was the fact that she was Brooke, of all people. I had let her get too close. ]

Being with Brooke was so much different than being with someone like George. Because even though he was a great guy, George didn’t have the same kind of connection with Sam. With Brooke, everything Sam felt, she felt more strongly. But Brooke got too close, so Sam had to push her away.

[ But is it worth it? Because now I have her at a safe distance, just like I wanted. And I miss her. ]

Sam sighed, confused as ever, and lay back down, trying to will herself back into sleep.

~~~

At breakfast with Katie the next morning, Sam was off in her own world, still mentally going through the ups and downs of her relationship with Brooke, as she sullenly poked at the food on her plate.

“Okay, so what’s up with you?”

Sam looked up in surprise; she had almost forgotten that Katie was even there. She didn’t really know what the girl was talking about though, so she pulled together her journalistic skills, and went with the most eloquent response that she could come up with on the spot.

“Huh?”

“Well, your bed is right against the wall, so I know that you can’t have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed -- it’s the same side of the bed that you get up on every day. And I know you’re not a big morning person, but this...” She gestured vaguely at Sam’s slumped form. “This is a whole new level of moodiness for you. So I repeat: what’s up with you?”

Katie’s logic managed to get a chuckle out of Sam, but then she simply sighed and returned to staring at her plate. “I dunno. It’s just this dream I had last night. It got me thinking about some things. But whatever, it’s not a big deal.”

“Let me guess, it has something to do with Brooke, right?”

Sam looked up suspiciously. “What makes you say that?”

Katie chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know. Just the fact that whenever you’re in a bad mood lately, it’s because you’re thinking about Brooke.”

“That’s not true,” Sam scoffed. Katie just knowingly raised an eyebrow. “Oh okay, fine. Maybe it’s a little bit true.”

“But seriously. Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you two? Last semester, all was well in the sunny land of the McSisters, but now...I dunno. It’s kind of been thawing out lately, but it’s still definitely been a lot icier. You guys are like Greenland, which you would think would be really nice and green and happy, but it’s actually icier thanIceland. And I’m not a big fan of the cold. Which is why it’s a total mystery, how I ended up in New York after growing up inFlorida. It is crazy cold in this town during the winter. I don’t know what I was thinking. But anyway, that’s completely irrelevant to everything, and I have no idea why I brought it up.”

Sam just stared at her friend for a few seconds. “Have I ever told you that you can be very strange sometimes?”

The question only brought a large smile to Katie’s face. “Well, you have told me that before, yes, but it’s been quite a while since the last time, so I guess I was due for a reminder. And I see what you’re doing here, McPherson. I know you’re just trying to distract me with insults, so that I won’t ask you any more about Brooke. And fine, if you really want to be annoying like that, then I’ll let you. But you’ve got to fix this, Sam, seriously. Granted, I haven’t known you that long, but I know that you and Brooke were really great friends. And that should be worth fixing. So suck it up, and go talk to her.”

Sam knew that Katie was right. She had to do something.

[ Yeah, but easier said than done. ]


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Brooke walked into her apartment and promptly collapsed onto the futon, exhausted.

“Long day?” Alexis poked her head around the corner, having heard Brooke enter. Brooke immediately noticed Alexis’ hair -- it was a soft shade of purple. Hadn’t it been bright red when she left this morning?

“Ugh. Just about the longest of the summer. There were two new girls today, which always makes things kind of crazy, and one of my bosses left for vacation, so we were understaffed, and I got to sit in on a counseling session, and it was really cool, but horribly depressing at the same time.”

Brooke had decided to stay inNew York for the summer. She was working at a clinic for teens with eating disorders, wanting a chance to help girls like herself, and also figuring that it went well with her decision to major in psychology. And while it was definitely rewarding, it was emotionally draining too.

“But nice hair, by the way. Not many people could pull that off, but it looks good on you.”

“Oh yeah, thanks. Just felt like changing it. Well hey, at least it’s the weekend. And I’m sure that Jason will have a few plans to get us out of the apartment, so now you get to just relax and have some fun for a few days.”

Just then, Jason walked into the apartment as well, calling out, “Hello, my lovelies!” Spotting Brooke, still slouched inelegantly over the futon, he commented, “What happened to you? We need to get some caffeine in you, or something, hun. You know I love you, but I have to say that ‘couch potato’ is not your best look.”

Brooke merely laughed, having learned that Jason should rarely be taken seriously. Living with Alexis and Jason had certainly turned out to be quite an adventure. None of them had known each other well at first, but had been in one class together, and all needed a place to stay for the summer months. And amazingly, it had worked out great. They were all pretty different, but their personalities somehow meshed together really well.

“Oh leave the poor girl alone, she’s had a rough day. And I almost forgot, Brooke, you had a phone call a few minutes before you got here.”

“Yeah? Who from?”

Alexis just smirked. “I’ll give you one guess.”

“Sam? Okay, thanks.”

Things were going a lot better between the step-sisters. The awkwardness was pretty much gone, the fighting for no reason was over, and they usually talked on the phone at least a few times every week. In a way, Brooke thought that the distance of the summer had actually helped their friendship. But she was confident that they’d keep moving forward when Sam came back in a few weeks, at the end of August.

[ I’m just so glad that Sam took that first step, and made us finally talk about everything.]

 _ Brooke was nervous. Sam had sounded pretty serious when she called on the phone, asking Brooke to meet her in their favorite corner of nearbyWashingtonSquarePark. Brooke found the brunette sitting by herself, anxiously bouncing her leg up and down and chewing on a fingernail, as she stared off into space. Brooke sat down by her, giving Sam a small smile in greeting. She really had no idea what this was all about. _

_ “Sooooo....” Sam managed to start the conversation, but failed to actually say anything. _

_ “So.” Awkward pause. “What’s up?” _

_ “Well, okay. So here’s the thing. And, I’d appreciate it if you just sit and listen for a bit, so I can try to explain what I’m trying to say. And it might take me a little while to get there, but I don’t want to get sidetracked, okay?” _

_ Brooke heard the tension in Sam’s voice, but with any luck, the girl’s harsh tone was an effect of nervousness, not anger. She smiled in a way that she hoped was reassuring. “Yeah, sure, Sam. Of course.” _

_ Sam glanced briefly towards her step-sister. Was that fear in Sam’s eyes? Why would Sam be afraid? When Sam continued talking, Brooke was glad to hear that the harshness had left her voice, although the tension remained. “Great. Well I had the dream again last night. You know? The dream about the mess that was Junior Prom.” _

_ [ Wow. Sam still has that dream? I had no idea that it still bothered her. ] _

_ “It had been a while. I’m sure you remember when I used to have that dream almost every night. But I had forgotten, I think. Forgotten what it felt like when I thought you were going to die. And, well, it’s a pretty sucky feeling, to put it mildly. I mean, I’m sure it’s not much, compared to how you felt. But I had to watch it happen, and I couldn’t do anything. And when I realized that you might die, thinking that I hated you... I mean, fuck, I just couldn’t let that happen, you know? But you know all this. We’ve talked about it before, so I don’t know why I’m saying it all over again. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” _

_ Brooke watched Sam close her eyes, take in a big, shaky breath, and try to gather herself. She waited quietly, knowing that Sam wasn’t done. She wanted to say something, though. Wanted to jump up and wrap her arms around the brunette. Because Sam still cared about her. Brooke had been so afraid that Sam no longer cared. _

_ [ Oh, Sam. It’s okay, I understand. At least, I think I do. I hope you’re trying to say what I think you are. I hope you’re trying to say that you want it to be like before. That I’m going to get my best friend back. ] _

_ “I guess...I guess what I’m trying to say is that...I want my best friend back. I don’t want to lose you. I miss you, Brooke, and I know things have been weird between us lately, but I think we’ve been through too much together to let one stupid night get in the way of all that. And that night...at Charlie’s party...you said that you could count on me, and that you trusted me to be there for you. I don’t want that to not be true. I’m so sorry that it hasn’t been true lately. But I want it to be true again.” _

_ Brooke tried to stay serious and focused on Sam, but she couldn’t keep a huge grin from spreading across her face. Sam wasn’t looking at her, though, so couldn’t see Brooke’s reaction to her words. _

_ “So, I don’t know what your thoughts are about this. I haven’t exactly been keeping up with your life this semester, so you’ve probably made a bunch of new friends, and don’t really need me anymore.” _

_ But Brooke couldn’t keep quiet any longer, and she finally gave in to her urge to hug Sam. Sam was completely taken by surprise at first, but then settled gratefully into Brooke’s arms. “How could you ever think that? Of course I need you! You’re my Sammy...and I’ve really missed you.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ Brooke pulled back slightly, but continued to hold Sam by the shoulders, so she could stare directly into Sam’s eyes. “Yes, really. Sam, after that night...I didn’t know what to do. I thought you hated me, were disgusted with me. And it was just so much easier to avoid you, because being around you only made me nervous. And I hated that. I hated that I couldn’t just talk to you, and make all the awkwardness go away, but I didn’t know how. I mean, I barely even remember what happened, so I didn’t know how to even approach talking about it.” _

_ Brooke could feel herself blushing, and saw the same reaction with Sam, but she was determined to maintain eye contact. Still, she let her hands drop from Sam’s shoulders. Brooke didn’t think that she could handle too much physical contact with Sam while they had this particular conversation. _

_ “No, I didn’t hate you! I’m sorry if I made you think that. I just...I dunno, same thing as you, I guess. I was just so freaked out by everything, and I didn’t know what to do, and you know how I hate it when I don’t know what to do. And you have to admit, it’s always been so much easier to fight with you, Brooke, than to actually communicate in any meaningful way.” _

_ Brooke smiled in response, acknowledging the truth in Sam’s words. She couldn’t keep the hesitation out of her voice or her eyes, though, as she asked, “Do...do you remember much? About that night?” _

_ Sam looked quickly away in embarrassment, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully, before replying. “Um, well, not really. Not too much. Bits and pieces of stuff. I remember the party, and dancing. And then some of....you know. But it’s all pretty vague and foggy. And then I was surprised to find that I was kinda sore the next day, and-- ” _

_ A jolt of panic shot through Brooke, and she interrupted Sam, only managing to speak aloud a few words out of all the ones running through her head. “Oh god. I didn’t....did I? I mean....you hadn’t....your first....oh Sam, I...” _

_ Somehow, Sam was able to understand what Brooke was trying to get across, and immediately tried to reassure the blonde. “No! I mean...no, I don’t think you did. That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t sore because of that. I’m pretty sure that I’m, you know, still technically a virgin.” _

_ Sam’s face was a bright, beet red by now, but Brooke visibly relaxed. _

_ “Oh, thank god. Because, I meant it when I told you that your first time should be special, Sam. And if I had reduced it to just some drunken hook-up... Well, I’m just glad that I didn’t. You deserve more than that, Sam.” _

_ “Um. Thanks. I guess. Yeah.” _

_ [ I can’t believe we’re discussing whether or not I took Sam’s virginity. This is definitely not a conversation I expected to have today. Or any other day, for that matter. ] _

_ Suddenly, a different thought occurred to Brooke. “Wait a second...so if that’s not what you meant, then -- and I’m not sure I really want to know the answer to this, but -- why WERE you sore?” _

_ “Ummm, well... Okay, maybe ‘sore’ wasn’t exactly the right word. And again, I only remember this very vaguely. But, it’s just, um...well, my shoulder the next day....” _

_ Brooke was confused. What did Sam’s shoulder have anything to do with this? _

_ “Well, I’m pretty sure that you bit me.” _

_ Brooke’s eyes widened in horror. “I did WHAT?!?” _

_ Brooke watched Sam struggle with embarrassment, as she mumbled, “You weren’t trying to hurt me or anything. I barely even noticed it at the time.” Then Sam’s eyes locked onto Brooke’s, and her expression changed suddenly, with Sam breaking into uncontrollable laughter. _

_ “Oh, Brooke. Your face is just priceless right now.” _

_ “What, so I didn’t bite you?? Was that just a horrible joke?” _

_ “No, you DID bite me. But your face still looked hilarious just now.” Sam continued to laugh, even as she struggled to speak at the same time. _

_ Brooke continued to stare in shock at Sam for a few moments. She bit Sam? Really? She had never bit anyone in bed before. Should she be worried about this? But finally, Sam’s infectious laughter and the ridiculousness of the whole situation caught up with Brooke, and she too burst into a fit of giggles. The girls practically fell on top of each other, trying to control themselves. _

And that was it. That was all that was needed to break the solid tension between them, and their relationship had gradually but steadily returned to the strong friendship they had shared at the end of high school and beginning of college.

With her mind finally back in the present, Brooke remembered that she should call Sam.

“Hey Sam, what’s up? You called earlier?”

“Hi! Okay, so guess what? I’ve finished up work for the summer, as you know, and was getting really bored at home, sooooo...I came back early!”

“Wait, you’re inNew York? That’s great! Where are you?”

“I’m at the airport. And I’m cheap, and don’t really want to start spending my new hard-earned cash, so I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind being awesome and borrowing Jason’s car to come pick me up? Luke offered to pay for a cab, but I don’t want to make him do that. So, yeah... Pretty, pretty, please, with a cherry on top?”

Brooke didn’t at all mind going to get Sam, and she was sure it would be fine with Jason, but something else caught her attention, and caused her forehead to crease in confusion.

“Luke? Who’s Luke?”

There was a brief silence, and then Brooke heard Sam whisper, “Shit!” before she continued, nervously, “Oh right, I haven’t exactly told you about him, yet, have I? Um, well, Luke’s my boyfriend.”

[ Boyfriend? Since when has Sam had a boyfriend?? ]


	8. Chapter 8

PART 2 -- Sophomore Year  


Chapter 8

Sam had no idea what movie they were watching. She had started off paying attention, but somehow that just wasn’t working out. She figured that, at this point, trying to understand what was going on simply wasn’t the most productive use of her time.

Instead, Sam decided to think more about the two people sitting on the couch on either side of her: Luke and Brooke. Brooke had been the last one to arrive to movie night, and Katie, Alexis, and Jason had claimed all other available seating in the common room, so Brooke was forced to share the small couch with Sam and Luke. Not telling Brooke about him had been stupid, Sam knew. She didn’t even really understand why she hadn’t.

 _ Things had been going so great that summer. She was enjoying her internship at the newspaper, she and Brooke were talking a lot, Mac was officially the cutest kid ever, and her mom and Mike were only mildly annoying. All was well. _

_ And then she met Luke. And he was great. Nice, intelligent, worldly, and mighty fine eye-candy as well. They were part of the nice little quartet of interns -- Sam from NYU, Luke fromColumbia, Julie from Northwestern, and Ethan from UCLA. She had honestly been completely surprised when Luke asked her out. Sam had been perfectly happy just as friends, but thought she might as well give it a shot. If it didn’t work out, thenNew York was certainly a big enough city that she knew she’d never have to see him again after the summer, if she didn’t want to. _

_ So it would only be logical for Sam to talk about him to Brooke, her once-again-best friend. But she didn’t. At first, it just didn’t come up during their conversations. Sam would start with the intention of telling Brooke, but then would get side-tracked, and would forget all about him until after she had hung up. And then it seemed weird to mention him, once they’d already been dating for two weeks. How could she explain why she hadn’t said anything earlier? So she convinced herself that she wanted to wait and tell Brooke in person. Plus, since their newly-renewed-best-friendship, Sam worried that telling Brooke about Luke would change things between them once again. Things with Luke were good. Things with Brooke were good. Why shake everything up? _

_ But then she had to go and ruin it all at the airport. She didn’t even think about it. Luke was standing right there next to her, also on the phone and in the middle of assuring his mother that they had arrived safely, and she just totally forgot that Brooke didn’t know that he existed. _

_ Sam had been really looking forward to seeing Brooke, but that reunion at the airport had been so much worse than originally anticipated. Because even though she hadn’t talked to Brooke about Luke, she HAD talked to Luke about Brooke. So, while Luke greeted Brooke warmly, exclaiming, “Sam’s told me so much about you!”...Brooke smiled -- but in that way that Sam knew was nowhere even close to genuine -- and replied, “Oh, really? How sweet of Sam. And sorry, but I have a pretty shitty memory, so you’re going to have to remind me about all the things that she may or may not have told me about you.” Fortunately, Luke didn’t seem to hear the sarcasm in Brooke’s voice. _

[ Still, I guess it wasn’t quite as bad as it could have been, at least. Brooke was obviously confused and hurt for a little while, but now she seems to be okay. And since then, she’s been nothing but nice to Luke. But still, something’s off. ]

“So, how’d you like the movie, Sam?”

Luke’s voice broke into the middle of her thoughts. She turned to stare at him for a few seconds before pulling herself together, and replying, “Uh, it was great!”

On her other side, Sam heard Brooke chuckle. “You weren’t paying at all attention, were you?”

Sam turned again, this time in Brooke’s direction, with an indignant protest on the tip of her tongue. But as she caught sight of Brooke’s amused expression, she changed her mind and grinned sheepishly. “No, not at all. Just couldn’t seem to keep my mind settled in one place.”

Luke spoke again, with Sam’s gaze returning to him. “Aw, I thought you would like this one, too. You tired, babe? Or just not interested in the movie?”

[ Well, neither, really. ]

But Brooke was actually the one to answer, and Sam once again turned to face her. “Knowing Sam, it’s probably neither. Last year, Sam, Katie, and I took an American politics course. It was a great class, but Sam could just never stay focused. Her notes would start out great, and then gradually get less and less detailed, as her mind wandered elsewhere. And adding caffeine into the situation only seemed to make her daydreaming start earlier. So inevitably, she’d end up asking to borrow our notes, of course. And then we’d get into a conversation about how interesting the course was, and Sam would vow to pay closer attention the next time, but she never would. If she hadn’t been so adorable about it all, it would have been highly annoying,” Brooke teased.

Sam lightly smacked Brooke on the arm, as Katie grinned and added, “Well in Sam’s defense, Professor Bailey did have a highly monotonous voice.”

Sam rolled her eyes and admitted sarcastically, “Yes, it’s true, I’m a horrible, unfocused student, and Brooke and Katie saved my ass many times last year.”

When Luke touched her lightly on the shoulder to get her attention, Sam’s neck started to hurt a little, from all the changing of directions. “Hey, give yourself a bit more credit, Sam.” Addressing the rest of the room, he continued. “Sam was totally everyone’s go-to-gal this summer. Out of all us interns, Sam was the most likely to always have all her shit together. She made the rest of us look bad a few times too many.” Turning back to Sam, he added, “So that pretty head of yours was definitely not ‘unfocused’ this summer.” He leaned forward, giving her a light peck on the lips. Sam was still uncomfortable with any kind of PDA in front of her friends, so she smiled at him, but pulled back slightly.

“Well, even if she is a horrible student -- just kidding, Sam! -- there’s no denying that she’s a brilliant journalist.”

Sam turned and searched Brooke’s face for sarcasm, but saw only sincerity. She smiled happily. “Thanks, Brooke. I’m surprised you’d say that, after all the shit I put you through in high school.”

At those words, Jason jumped into the conversation. “I would LOVE to have known you two in high school. I’ve heard some stories...your arguments sound like SO much fun.”

Katie turned to Jason and emphatically stated, “Yeah, not so much. I’ve witnessed a few of those infamous fights, and ‘fun’ is not exactly how I’d describe them. Brooke and Sam were totallyGreenland.”

Sam just laughed as everyone else looked to Katie in confusion.

~~~

Later that night, Katie was reading at her desk, while Sam simply lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Luke had wanted her to come back toColumbia with him (where he was lucky enough to have a single), but she didn’t really feel like it. Maybe she’d go over tomorrow night, but it had been too late when they all finished talking.

Something about that evening’s conversation was bugging her, though. It had been a perfect example of how something was “off” between Luke and Brooke. As always, they had both been perfectly civil to each other. But Sam couldn’t help but notice that both of them had a tendency to bring up stories that excluded the other one. Luke and Brooke had now known each other for over three months, so there were plenty of situations that involved both of them, but they seemed to avoid those topics of conversation. Sam wasn’t sure if they were actually doing it on purpose, or if she was just paranoid.

[ It’s almost like they’re competing for my attention, in this really passive-aggressive way. But no, that’s weird. I’m just making a big thing out of nothing. ]

“Hey Katie? You like Luke, right?”

“Yeah, he’s really sweet. And he’s obviously into you, which is just adorable. Why? Is everything okay? Because if anything’s wrong, then I’m totally on your side, and I’ll go kick his ass.”

Sam laughed. “No, everything’s fine, and no ass-kicking will be required. Thanks, though, I appreciate the enthusiasm.” After a minute of silence, Sam added, “Do you think Brooke likes him?”

“Uh, sure, I think so. They’ve always seemed cool with each other. But Sam, who cares if I like him, or Brooke does? What matters is whether or not YOU like him. You do like him, don’t you? You’ve acted like you like him.”

“Yeah, I do like him. He’s great,” Sam answered honestly.

[ So why do I care so much what Brooke thinks? ]


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Brooke struggled with her luggage and her keys, before the door suddenly swung open from the inside, and a grinning Alexis appeared in front of her.

“Brooke! You’re back!” she shouted in excitement, before pulling the blonde into a tight hug.

Brooke grinned, and though she was somewhat surprised at the eagerness of her normally reticent roommate, she happily returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. It had been great to go home, but it was nice to have a good friend and roommate to return to as well.

“So, your hair’s still purple, I see. I thought you were going to change it up again.”

Alexis ran a hand absentmindedly through her hair, and then helped Brooke drag all her stuff inside their room. “Well I dyed it blue over the break, in honor of Hanukah. But then it faded to this horrible gray color, which wasn’t so hot, and the purple is my favorite shade so far, so I just decided to be boring and go back to this.”

Brooke laughed. “Damn, Alex. I think you’re the only one who could ever think of purple hair as boring.”

Alexis just smirked. “Anyway, I’ve been back for hours, but no one else is around yet, so I’ve just been waiting here with nothing to do. Where’s Sam? You two didn’t kill each other, did you? According to Katie, that almost happened last year, when you went home for the holidays.”

“Actually, yeah, she was getting on my nerves, so I decided that the simplest thing to do was just to kill her. The parentals weren’t too happy about it, but they’ll get over it. Hope you don’t mind. I know you and Sam had become friends too.” Alexis chuckled amusedly, as Brooke continued. “No, she just went to her own room to unpack a little and maybe take a nap. So yeah, things with Sam are...good.” Brooke smiled hesitantly to herself, as she thought about her evolving relationship with her step-sister.

When she looked back to her roommate, Brooke noticed that Alexis was eyeing her suspiciously. “Okay, you’ve got this weird contemplative look on your face.” The ringing of Alexis’ phone cut off anything else Alexis meant to say. “I should probably get that. But we’re going to talk about this later! I can tell that there’s more to things than what you’re telling me.”

[ Well I have to admit that she’s right. Everything certainly is a little more complicated than just “Things with Sam are good.” But I think I need to mask my emotions better. Between Nic and Alexis, my friends can apparently read me way too easily. ]  


  
~~~

  
Two weeks later, and Brooke couldn’t believe that she had let Jason drag her here. She stood in line with an even-more-than-usually-excited Jason, and an amused Alexis, as they waited to get into the club. Her thoughts returned to the conversation that had brought them there.

 _It was the first night after arriving back from Winter break. Jason had been the next one to arrive back at the dorm, after Brooke and Sam. Katie wasn’t returning until the next day, and Sam was off somewhere with Luke, so Brooke, Alexis, and Jason sat hanging out and catching up in their favorite local coffee shop._

 _They made an interesting-looking group -- an “All-American” blonde beauty; a girl with purple hair and dark, smoky eyeliner; and a bald, clean-cut black man._

 _After a good half hour of chatting, Jason brought up the topic of Sam and Luke. “It’s too bad they didn’t come out with us. I know Luke’s taken, and not inclined my way, but I can’t say that I mind having a little more testosterone around sometimes. No offense, girls.”_

 _Brooke sighed. “Ugh, no. I have seen way too much of that boy over the last few weeks.”_

 _“I thought you liked Luke.” Alexis looked at Brooke questioningly. “Does this have anything to do with the reason that you got all thoughtful when I mentioned Sam, earlier? Everything IS okay with you two, right?”_

 _“Yeah, everything’s fine. Really. And I do like Luke. I guess. He just seemed to constantly be hanging around. Though I’m sure Sam was happy about it, it sucked that he lives so close to us. Sometimes I wanted to spend time just with Sam, but he was almost always there, and it got kind of annoying. I think even Sam was getting a little tired of him by the end of break. My dad and Jane loved him, though, and were constantly hinting that I should try and find someone like him for myself.” Brooke grimaced slightly at the thought of her very-own Luke._

 _There was a short silence as all three simultaneously sipped at their drinks. Then, Brooke suddenly blurted out, “Jason, how did you know you were gay?”_

 _Brooke cringed the second the words left her mouth. She hadn’t been planning on starting this particular conversation so soon. It just happened, before she could stop herself._

 _Two pairs of eyes widened and stared at Brooke. Then, a huge grin spread across Jason’s face. “Oh. My. God. Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Because I did wonder about you when we first met, but I thought I was completely off base, and my gaydar just needed some tweaking. But apparently not! This is SO exciting!”_

 _“I don’t know what I’m saying. I just got to thinking about some things recently, and it’s all pretty confusing. I dunno.” Brooke sighed and ran her hand through her hair, feeling the start of what was possibly an oncoming headache._

 _Alexis reached out and gently touched Brooke’s shoulder, getting her attention. “You know you can talk to us about any of this, right? If you’re questioning stuff or whatever, maybe it would help to talk it out. But you totally don’t have to if you don’t want to. Right, Jason?” Alexis looked pointedly at Jason, apparently hoping he would control his obvious eagerness for continuing the conversation._

 _“Hey, she’s the one who brought it up, not me. I think she wants to talk about it. But yeah, I’m totally there for ya, Brookie, whatever you want. Oh, and to answer the original question...with the benefit of hindsight, I think I probably had a crush on my seventh grade math teacher. He was also my soccer coach and was absolutely gorgeous. But throughout high school, I actually dated a bunch of girls. I was a pretty big jock back then, if you’d believe it, and I went to the gym all the time. Of course, I probably paid a little too close attention to all the other hot bodies working out around me. And sophomore year, I was on a date with some girl, and had agreed to watch the movie, ‘How Stella Got Her Groove Back.’ I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Taye Diggs is a beautiful, beautiful man. So that was kind of my official awakening. I didn’t come out, except for a few close friends, until the end of senior year, though. So, to sum it all up, Taye Diggs is how I knew I was gay.”_

 _Jason then turned his attention back to Brooke and grinned. “So, Brooke...how did YOU know you were gay?”_

 _[ Oh, god. I should have known that he would have a field day with this. Oh well. ]_

 _“I DON’T know that I’m gay. That’s the whole point! But yeah, it’s slightly possible that I might be. Or at least bi. Maybe. I dunno.”_

 _Jason’s expression softened at Brooke’s obvious distress. “Look, hun, I’m sorry I’ve been jumping all over you. I know this can be really confusing and difficult and shit. I just want to help. You know that, right? But Alex is right. It would probably help to talk it out, I think. I wish I had had someone to talk to when I started dealing with all this.”_

 _Brooke smiled gratefully at her two friends, took a deep breath, and tried to explain what she was feeling. It was hard to point to anything specific. Sam had been watching “Buffy” DVDs, and suddenly got into the idea of watching other stuff that some of the main actors were in._

 _So one night, Brooke, Sam, and Luke found themselves watching “Imagine Me & You,” a movie that none of them had heard of, but it had the actor who played Giles. Brooke got a lot more invested into the story than she had expected to. It got some thoughts running through her head. About how she certainly wouldn’t mind if Lena Headey came along and swept her off her feet. That was the simple explanation._

 _Brooke chose not to explain that she was possibly developing a major crush on Sam. And she certainly wasn’t prepared to tell them that she had actually already hooked up with Sam. But she wasn’t sure if that counted, anyway, since neither of them really remembered much. While watching the movie, Brooke had been very aware that she, Sam, and Luke kind of formed a similar triangle to Luce, Rachel, and Heck._

 _Except in her own situation, Brooke was the odd-one-out. But she wasn’t quite ready to talk about all that yet.  
_  
So now here Brooke was, fake ID in hand, about to enter her first gay club. Jason, the only one of them who had been there before, eagerly led the way over to the bar. “In honor of Brooke’s introduction to experimenting with her lezzy side and Alex’s willingness to be our token straight girl, first round’s on me!”

As the shot of tequila slid down her throat, Brooke took some time to scout the place out. It was pretty crowded, and there seemed to be close to equal numbers of guys and girls. There was an open dance floor leading right up to the bar, with a bunch of seating around the edges.

There was also a small balcony overlooking the main area, with a sign indicating that some more seats and the restrooms could be found upstairs.

Somehow, Jason had managed to spot a few friends of his across the room. Each grabbing another drink, they maneuvered their way over to the table. After the standard introductions, Brooke allowed the conversation to flow around her, as she turned to take in the scene.

More out of habit than anything else, Brooke first found her eyes searching out the males in her vicinity.

[ Well, I have to admit that I still think guys are pretty attractive. But these ones certainly aren’t interested in me, and I’m not here to look for guys, anyway. ]

Next, Brooke let her gaze fall to the many women around her. Her heart beat faster, as she allowed herself to freely check out another woman for the first time. Soon, a light peal of laughter to her left caught Brooke’s attention. Turning in that direction, she found herself staring at a tall brunette, standing nearby in a small group of people.

[ My god, she’s gorgeous. ]

Just then, the girl happened to look directly towards Brooke, and their eyes locked. The girl smirked slightly, and Brooke quickly turned to face straight ahead, mortified to be caught looking.

[ Fuck. That was SO not smooth. ]

As the evening progressed, Brooke actually found herself having more fun than she thought she would. She was pleasantly tipsy, but while several girls had hit on her, asking her to dance, her only foray onto the dance floor was when she and Alexis sandwiched a giggling Jason between them. She had occasionally spotted “her girl” -- because yes, Brooke already thought of the striking girl as hers -- a few more times, only allowing herself some subtle (at least she hoped they were subtle) glances in her direction. She didn’t know why this girl had caught her attention so easily, but Brooke had to admit that her dancing form was very nice to look at.

Now, she leaned on the balcony railing, surveying the mass of bodies below her. Alexis and Jason had stayed close to Brooke all night, not wanting to abandon her on her first time at a place like this. But Alexis was currently outside getting a bit of fresh air, and when a hot guy had asked Jason to dance, Brooke smiled and assured him that she would be perfectly fine on her own for a bit. So now she stood, nursing her rum and coke, and subconsciously looking around for her girl. She couldn’t find her, though, and started to think that she might have left.

Brooke felt more than saw someone come and stand next to her, assuming a similar pose of leaning against the balcony. Her new companion cleared her throat, and then put her hand out for Brooke to shake. “Hi, I’m Liz.”

Brooke turned to shake the offered hand, ready to politely express a non-interest, but...

[ It’s her! ]

...she found herself staring into her girl’s smiling face. Brooke felt her cheeks instantly flush. Pulling herself together, she replied, “Uh, hi. I’m Brooke.”

[ Oh god. Okay, calm down, don’t be an idiot. I’ve always been able to deal with guys easily, so this shouldn’t be any different, right? ]

“Nice to meet you, Brooke. I don’t mean to embarrass you, but I couldn’t help but notice you looking at me earlier. I was waiting to see if you’d come up to me, but you haven’t, so when I saw you here, I thought I might as well come introduce myself.” Noticing the somewhat shocked look on Brooke’s face, she asked, “Shit, I haven’t weirded you out too much, have I? My friends always tell me I can sometimes be too aggressive. Sorry.”

“Uh, no. Not at all.” Brooke found herself smiling back into the warm face in front of her. She downed the last of her drink, and then, before she could stop herself, Brooke asked, “Do you want to dance?”

[ Shit. Did I really just ask her to dance? I can’t believe I just asked that. ]

Liz smiled brightly. “I’d love to. Let’s go.” And grabbing Brooke’s hand, she led the way back down the stairs and out onto the dance floor.

They started off somewhat awkwardly, with Liz initiating some light touches between them. But, as one song led to several more, and Brooke got into the feel of things, they slowly got closer and closer together, until Brooke felt Liz’s hands on her hips, and she slung one arm around Liz’s shoulders. Liz was certainly a better dancer than any guy she had ever been with. Brooke closed her eyes, letting herself go. This felt familiar, somehow. It felt right.

And before she knew what happened, she was being kissed. Brooke was shocked at first, and almost pulled away. But then, without letting herself think about it too much, Brooke was kissing back. It was a nice, gentle kiss. The soft pressure against her lips was different from kissing guys, but in a good way, she thought. Then the mouth against Brooke’s opened slightly, as her tongue ran lightly across Brooke’s bottom lip.

On one hand, Brooke knew that it was a very nice kiss. It felt good. But on the other hand, something felt very wrong. And suddenly, as she caught a whiff of lavender, it hit her. Because Liz looked kind of like Sam. And in her mind, she had been kissing Sam, not Liz. But Sam smelled like fresh apples, not lavender. And Liz was taller. It was all wrong.

Suddenly, Brooke felt very claustrophobic. She gently pushed Liz away from her, breaking the kiss. “I’m so sorry, Liz. I can’t do this. I have to go.” And without another word, although she could hear Liz calling after her, Brooke turned and squeezed her way towards the door. Jason and Alexis, who had witnessed the entire thing, quickly followed her outside, worried about the rapid change of events.

“Brooke, are you okay? What happened?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...it was too much. I couldn’t...I dunno. I had a lot of fun, honestly. Thanks for taking me out. But can we go home, now?”  
Sitting in the cab, joking around with her two friends, Brooke finally felt herself relax again. She was glad that they hadn’t pushed her for more information.

[ Well, I guess that answers the question of whether or not I like Sam. ]


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N1:** WARNING, heterosexuality ahead.  
>  **A/N2: **This chapter is rated R.****

Chapter 10

Sam woke up, but didn’t yet want to open her eyes. Stretching, she was surprised to feel another body in bed next to her. Her eyes shot open.

[ Oh, right. Of course. That was silly. Who else would be in my bed? ]

A half-naked Luke stirred, reaching an arm around Sam’s waist, but didn’t wake.

Looking at the clock, she saw that it was still early, so let herself relax back into Luke’s arms. She shifted positions, and felt a sudden and unexpected discomfort. And then it all came flooding back to her. She remembered what had happened. How could she have forgotten??

 _Luke and Sam had been dating for almost six and a half months. Everything was going smoothly. At least, it was most of the time. Sometimes Luke got too clingy, but then Sam would pull back a little bit, and he’d understand and would pull back as well without Sam needing to ask him to, and everything would be good again._

 _Things had been going well for a while now, and Sam was very comfortable with the relationship. Luke had been acting a bit strange, though, for about the past week. She knew he was taking her out to eat, tonight, but he hadn’t told her where. He was being altogether mysterious about the whole evening, but had told her to dress semi-formally. She tried to think...she hadn’t forgotten any special occasion, had she?_

 _A knock on the door broke through her thoughts. Sam was nervous, but didn’t really know why. She wished Katie were here, but her roommate’s parents happened to be in New York, so she was staying with them in their hotel room for the night. Opening the door, Sam found a grinning Luke, bearing a nice bouquet of flowers. “Hello, my lovely. Ready for a night out on the town?”_

 _Forty-five minutes later, Sam and Luke were seated at a nice Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. She recognized it as the place where his cousin worked, and the connection had gotten them a bottle of wine, even though they were both underage. Luke cleared his throat, and raised his glass. Sam raised hers as well, curious as to where he was going with all this._

 _“Well, here’s to the start of what I hope will be an enjoyable evening. Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear.”_

 _Sam giggled and looked at Luke questioningly. “Um, I hate to break it to you, but you’re about a week ahead of schedule. You do know that Valentine’s Day is traditionally on the 14th, right? Today’s only the 8th, Luke.”_

 _If anything, Luke’s grin only got wider. “This is true. BUT, if my suspicions are correct, then I’m guessing that someone like you doesn’t really like to buy into the whole Valentine’s Day commercial craziness. Am I right?”_

 _“Well yeah, I guess so. I mean, it’s an overrated day that was basically given meaning by Hallmark, in order to make us buy lots of stuff. Plus, Valentine’s Day when you’re single sucks, and no good holiday should make anyone feel bad. But anyway, what’s your point?”_

 _[ I thought I had gotten pretty good at understanding him, but I have absolutely no idea where he’s going with this. ]_

 _“Well, it all really comes down to my second suspicion about you. Which is that, underneath your hard exterior, you’re actually quite the romantic. And why shouldn’t you get a nice Valentine’s Day, just because it’s overly-commercialized? So, I’m preempting Hallmark, and declaring today to be our very own Valentine’s Day. Tonight’s our chance to do all the cheesy couple things that you would be way too mortified to actually do on the 14th. Does that work for you?”_

 _Sam laughed out loud, and couldn’t contain her smile. “As crazy as that sounds, it may just be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.”_

 _The candlelit dinner was followed by ice skating at Rockefeller Center, and then a cozy ride through Central Park in a horse-drawn carriage._

 _[ Luke was right. Tonight has been so much fun, but there’s no way that I would ever do these things on Valentine’s. Way too cliché. ]_

 _When they got back to Sam’s dorm, she invited him up to her room, not wanting the night to end yet. She had only had a little bit of wine with dinner, but she felt almost intoxicated with the whole evening. And when she stared into Luke’s eyes, she was taken aback by the depth of the emotion she saw there. Was it love? Did Luke love her? Did she love Luke? She honestly hadn’t really thought much about it. And for the first time in a while, Sam felt a shot of desire course through her. She had certainly gotten fairly physical with Luke before, but he was always the one to initiate it, and while it definitely wasn’t unpleasant, it wasn’t something she actively wanted._

 _[ But now...now everything feels perfect. Luke has been nothing short of amazing for six months, and he’s never pushed me to do more than I wanted to, even though I’m sure that most guys would’ve expected to be able to sleep with their girlfriends by now. Brooke said that my first time should be special. Well, I don’t think that I love him, but tonight’s been wonderful, tonight’s been special. There’s nothing wrong with rewarding him for that, right? ]_

 _Luke was looking at her curiously, and Sam suddenly realized that she’d been silently staring at him. She smiled, before walking over to him, where he sat in the chair by her desk, and reaching out to run her hand through his hair. “Thank you for tonight.”_

 _He stood up and gazed into her eyes, then brought his lips down to hers. The passion between them escalated quickly, but Sam started to feel somewhat awkward, realizing that she didn’t really know what to do._

 _Luke led her back to her bed. First, Sam made a point of staying upright, simply sitting on the bed, but allowed his hands to wander over her body. Luke moaned into her mouth when Sam leaned back on the bed, pulling him with her. She jumped a little when she felt the bulge in his pants press against her._

 _He pulled back slightly. “You okay?”_

 _Sam just nodded, as she didn’t trust her voice to work correctly. It had suddenly become so much more real. This was actually happening. She tried to keep herself from freaking out. Tried to just let herself go. Eventually, as Luke kissed his way down to her neck, she managed to relax a little more. But it was strange...she felt the pressure of Luke above her, but she somehow still felt detached from what was going on._

 _[ Right now, I almost just want to get this over with. Just want to know what all the fuss is about. Brooke would definitely not approve of this kind of thinking. But fuck, why am I thinking about Brooke right now?? ]_

 _“Luke...do you...do you have a condom?”_

 _Luke froze all motion, then lifted himself up to look at Sam. “Um, yeah. I have one. But...Sam, are you sure about this? Because I really don’t want you to--”_

 _Sam interrupted him by reaching up and stroking his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m sure. I want this.” Sam wasn’t sure that she really wanted it, but hoped that she would convince herself, as well as Luke._

 _She apparently sounded convincing enough for Luke, who happily pulled off his shirt and reached down to his belt buckle._

 _When Luke first entered her, Sam cringed in pain. Luke didn’t see it, though, as his eyes were closed in pleasure. When she asked about the condom, she hadn’t meant for the foreplay to end, but once he had gotten the go-ahead, Luke had seemed eager to move forward before she changed her mind. He was very gentle with her, but it still hurt._

 _As he slowly moved inside her, the pain diminished slightly, but it still wasn’t exactly comfortable. She enjoyed the feel of him sucking on her neck and collarbone, though, so she tried to focus more on that. Luke brought his face back up to hers, mumbling about how good she felt and how beautiful she was. Sam smiled weakly in response._

 _His movements sped up, and Sam simply clung to him, trying to ground herself, to shake off some of the overwhelming loss of control that she felt._

 _And then it was over. Luke shuddered, crying out in ecstasy, and then collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. He kissed her, grinning blissfully. “That was fantastic, Sam. You’re amazing. Thank you.” And he rolled off of her, cuddling up to her side._

 _Sam felt weird, lying there naked, so had got out some pajamas, and Luke had pulled his boxers back on. She lay awake long after Luke drifted off. She couldn’t figure out how she felt. Her mind raced, trying to work it all out, before she finally fell into an exhausted sleep._

[ Oh god. I can’t believe I actually had sex with Luke last night. Do I regret it? No, not really. But I’m not exactly ecstatic about it either. ]

Sam turned on her side, studying Luke’s sleeping form. She wondered where everything would go from there. Would the relationship between them change? Would Luke expect to have sex a lot now?

[ Well, at least the sex will probably get better. Right? It has to get better. ]


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Brooke frowned, as she felt a shadow pass in front of the sun, which had previously been comfortably shining on her. She reluctantly opened one eye, squinting up at whatever obstacle was currently in the way of her perfect tan.

Sam stood in front of her, grinning. And wearing a very sexy green bikini.

[ Damn, where are my sunglasses? If I had them, then I could safely ogle Sam. ]

Brooke studiously kept her eyes from wandering over Sam’s body. Instead, she managed a fairly accurate impression of “nonchalant annoyance,” as she glared at her step-sister. “What do you want, Sam? You’re in the way.”

“I want you to get up off your lazy ass, and come swimming with me!”

“What, are you crazy? My hair was acting all funky this morning, and it took me a while to get it right. There’s no way I’m going to mess with it.”

Sam just scoffed. “Oh, come on. It’s Spring Break. We’re in Florida. On a beach. And the ocean’s probably about eighty degrees. Katie and Alex are already in there. You HAVE to go swimming! Besides, your hair always looks good, so no worries.”

And with that, Sam reached down, grabbing one of Brooke’s hands in both of her own, and heaved the reluctant blonde upwards off the towel.

“Saaaaaaam.” Brooke extended the name into a protesting whine. But Sam was stronger than she looked, and she apparently wasn’t taking “no” for an answer.

So Brooke found herself standing next to a triumphant Sam, who quickly kneeled in the sand to pull down Brooke’s shorts, leaving her in an equally stunning blue, white, and pink striped bikini.

Brooke, who had several fantasies involving Sam undressing her, felt a deep blush spread across her face. She noticed Sam hadn’t stood up again yet, so she glanced down to see why. Sam was staring straight ahead with a look on her face that Brooke couldn’t quite read. She felt herself flush even redder as she realized that Sam was staring at her scar. The one that led from the side of her left thigh, up and around towards her groin area. It was why she always wore shorts while sunbathing.

To break her sudden discomfort, Brooke lifted her foot to playfully push Sam backwards onto the sand. Sprinting towards the water, she looked back over her shoulder and called out, “Fine, I’ll go swimming! But last one in buys dinner!”

Brooke laughed as she saw Sam instantly struggle to her feet, muttering something about “cheater” and “SO not fair!”

But there were so many people on the beach, that reaching the ocean proved a more difficult task than originally imagined. And Sam was gaining on her. Brooke reached the ocean, right as Sam reached her. She let out a yelp of surprise when Sam wrapped her arms around her, tackling her as they both fell into the water.

Brooke felt like she should be upset, but they could both only burst out laughing as they lay in the shallow water, not even attempting to regain their balance right away.

As their laughter died down, Sam’s expression turned more serious. “Brooke, I’m really sorry I was staring. I just...I dunno, I just had never seen that one before. I mean, I totally wouldn’t have noticed it if I weren’t, you know, right there, and you really shouldn’t be embarrassed about it or anything, because it’s really not a big deal, and...”

Brooke just giggled. Normally she would, in fact, be extremely embarrassed about this. But she was determined to stay in a good mood and not let her insecurities ruin her vacation. “You’re babbling, Sammy. Don’t worry about it. I totally understand, so no need to apologize. Now come on, didn’t you mention something about swimming, not just sitting in the water?”

Brooke stood up, and now it was her turn to reach down and pull Sam to her feet.

It had been Katie’s idea for them all to head down to Florida. Her grandparents had a condo in Daytona Beach that they only used during the winter, so they were able to stay down there for the week for free. Jason couldn’t come, though, and after a few subtle hints from Sam that she didn’t really want her boyfriend to come along either, Katie informed a disappointed Luke that her parents didn’t want any boys staying in the condo, and it was too late to even think about being able to find him a hotel room.

So Katie, Sam, Brooke, and Alexis had the place to themselves, although they actually weren’t there too much. They slept and ate about half of their meals there, but the rest of the time was spent out on the beach, or shopping, or snorkeling, or riding bikes, or whatever else they felt like doing.

That night, the four friends were getting ready to head out to a club. Sam was in the shower, Katie was getting dressed in the room she was sharing with Alexis, and Brooke and Alexis were hanging out in the other bedroom, as Brooke applied her make-up.

Alex had returned to what seemed to be her favorite topic lately -- Brooke’s newfound questioning of her sexual orientation.

“I just don’t understand why you haven’t told Sam and Katie, yet. You know that you don’t have to worry about what they’d think, right? It’s totally not as big of a deal as you seem to think it is.”

Just then, Sam and Katie both entered the room, Katie from the doorway to the hall, and Sam from the adjoining bathroom. “Haven’t told WHAT to Sam and Katie?” they both asked simultaneously.

[ Shit! Damn it, Alexis...horrible timing! ]

Alexis just stared at Brooke apologetically, as Brooke looked back and forth between the two curious newcomers. “Uh, nothing much. Just that....that Charlie asked me out last week.”

Alexis’ look changed from apologetic to surprised. Brooke’s admission was certainly true, but it wasn’t the one Alexis had been expecting.

~~~

Sam was dancing. Smiling brightly as she moved to the music, completely at ease. Sam wasn’t drunk, but Brooke knew that a little alcohol always helped her loosen up more. And Brooke couldn’t tear her eyes away from her. She mumbled something about needing some fresh air, and bolted away from the tight circle of her friends. She found some space at the edge of the room, but maneuvered herself so she could still see Sam.

“I’m not sure if you’re even aware of it, but you’ve been watching her all night.”

Brooke looked sharply to her right, to see Katie smiling at her shyly.

“What? Watching who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Watching Sam, of course. I’m guessing that this, and not the romantic attentions of Charlie, is what you and Alexis were really talking about earlier?”

[ Fuck, am I that obvious? ]

Brooke just stared at Katie, her expression gradually shifting from tense and ready for denial to panic-stricken.

“Oh, Katie. What am I gonna do? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I mean, it’s SAM, of all people! I shouldn’t be spending my night watching SAM!”

Brooke felt her heart pounding. It was the first time she had admitted aloud her crush...

[ Who am I kidding? This is way more than a crush, at this point. ]

...or whatever it was that she felt for Sam. It was both a huge relief, to have it out in the open, and completely terrifying at the same time.

Katie just reached out and pulled Brooke into a comforting hug, as she whispered soothingly in her ear, “It’s okay. Really. It’ll all work out, somehow. I mean, I’ll admit that the situation kind of sucks, but you’ll be okay, Brooke. Whatever happens, you’ll find a way to pull through. And I’m totally here for you, if you want to talk about it, or whatever.”

Brooke just clung tightly to Katie, trying to will herself not to cry. She was mostly successful, but a few tears fell silently down her cheeks. Slowly, she calmed herself down and pulled back from Katie. “Thanks. Sorry about the freak-out. Oh, and um, Alexis and Jason know that I like both guys and girls, but they don’t know about which girl in particular led me to that conclusion. I’m just not quite ready to tell everyone that yet. So, I know I can totally trust you, but I’d appreciate it if this didn’t go any further.”

“Yeah, sure Brooke, of course.”

Suddenly, Sam and Alexis appeared, laughing about something. Sam was the first to notice the serious expressions on her two friends’ faces. “Hey, is everything okay?”

[ God, I don’t know if I can handle going out there and dancing any longer. Because I want to dance with HER, not with her, Katie, and Alexis. ]

Thankfully, Katie seemed to read her mind. “Yeah, everything’s great. But I’m getting pretty tired, guys. Would it be okay if we head out?”

Brooke gladly breathed in the cooler night air, as they all exited the club. She was extremely grateful to Katie, both for being so awesome about the whole situation, and also for cheerfully carrying on the conversation, covering for Brooke’s thoughtful silence.

Crawling into bed that night, she felt both elation and misery. Because there was only one bed. So she got to share a bed with Sam -- so close to her, but not close enough.

Sam was asleep within a few minutes, but restlessness stayed with Brooke. She froze when she heard Sam sigh contentedly in her sleep, and then reach an arm across Brooke’s stomach, pulling her tight against Sam’s body. It was pure agony. Brooke knew that she wouldn’t be sleeping much tonight. Because she couldn’t let herself relax into Sam’s arms. If she did that, she’d never want to leave.

[ I wonder…does she even realize that it’s me that she’s hugging? Does she think I’m Luke? That would completely suck. Or maybe I just make a good pillow, and there’s nothing more to it than that. ]

But now that the unbidden thought of Sam and Luke in bed had entered Brooke’s mind, she couldn’t get rid of it.

 _ Brooke was thinking about starting her psych paper when she heard a knock at her door. _

_ “It’s open!” _

_ Sam entered, closing the door behind her. She quickly glanced over to Alexis’ side of the room, but Alexis had just left for her early-morning run. _

_ “Hey, Sam. What’s up?” Brooke was puzzled by Sam’s obvious nervousness. Sam opened and closed her mouth several times, apparently trying to figure out what she wanted to say. After a few moments, Sam drew her eyebrows together and seemed to make some kind of decision. _

_ “I slept with Luke,” she blurted out. _

_ Brooke felt some color drain from her face, and her eyes widened. It was way too early in the morning to deal with this. _

_ “You what?” Brooke’s voice was barely above a whisper. _

_ “I slept with Luke.” Sam’s voice sounded stronger this time, but she still looked a little shell-shocked. _

_ “Oh.” _

_ If Brooke was honest with herself, she was actually surprised that this conversation hadn’t happened earlier. Still, that didn’t make it any easier to take. _

_ [ So that’s it. They’re sleeping together. They’re really serious. I mean, they’ve been dating for so long, how could it not be serious? But I held some small bit of comfort in the fact that they hadn’t had sex yet. Oh well. There goes that. But I can’t let myself freak out right now. This is so big for Sam, I have to be the good friend that she needs. ] _

_ “Okay. You slept with Luke. That’s…well, I’m happy for you guys. That’s a big step forward for you. Are you okay? I can’t tell whether you’re happy or not.” _

_ Sam shifted back and forth on the balls of her feet. “I don’t know. It was okay. Not quite what I was expecting. I mean, last night, he was just being so perfect, and it all felt right, and I made a conscious decision to go ahead with it, but it was just weird, somehow.” _

_ “Wait, so this just happened last night? Sam, it’s only 7am. Did he leave already?” _

_ Sam looked sheepishly at her feet. “No, he’s still in my room. I felt too weird, being in there, awake, while he slept, so I came down to talk to you. He sleeps like the dead, though, and probably won’t even start waking up for at least another 2 and a half hours.” _

_ Brooke hated that Sam had obviously spent enough time sharing a bed with Luke to learn his sleeping habits. She also noticed that Sam was acting more and more agitated. “It’s just…I definitely wouldn’t call it bad, but I wouldn’t call it good either. Do you know what I mean? But that’s just because it was the first time, right? It’ll get better?” _

_ Brooke felt her heart skip a beat at those words. She didn’t know which would be worse to hear -- that sex with Luke was great, or that the sex was only so-so, but Sam planned to keep having sex with him anyway. But Sam looked so lost. Brooke stood up, took two long strides, and pulled Sam into a hug. _

_ “Don’t worry, Sammy. It’s okay. It usually takes people a little while to adjust to each other like that and learn what’s good for each other.” _

_ Sam kept her arms around Brooke as she mumbled into her neck, “Josh is the guy you’ve had sex with the most, right? Did it get better with him?” _

_ “Honestly, not really. But Josh and I was never a good idea. So you shouldn’t exactly take us as a model.” _

_ [ Poor Josh. Now I understand a little more why that never could have worked out. I think, in a way, I was crushing on Sam even way back then. ] _

_ Brooke closed her eyes, gently stroking Sam’s hair. She could smell Luke’s cologne clinging to Sam’s body, and it almost made her physically sick. More than the smell itself, it was the idea of what the smell meant. Still, she held on until she felt Sam relax, and then finally released her hold on her step-sister. _

_ “Well, I should probably get back up there. Thanks, though, Brooke. I’m really glad I could talk to you.” _

_ She quickly hugged Brooke once more, and then left without another word. As soon as the door closed, Brooke collapsed back onto her bed, releasing a strangled sob. _

Unfortunately for Brooke, that morning was not the last time she had to endure a tortuous conversation with Sam about sex with Luke. Because for some reason, Sam seemed to have decided that Brooke should be her post-sex analysis buddy. Brooke secretly felt that sex shouldn’t require that much thought, but it did for Sam, apparently. Now, Brooke allowed herself to turn and look at her bedmate.

[ Oh, Sam. You could do so much better than Luke. He’s a really sweet guy, but I can tell from listening to you that he’s not nearly as good for you as you deserve. ]

The next morning, Brooke dragged her extremely tired self into the kitchen. She glared around the room at her three very awake-looking friends. They all took one look at her and decided not to comment, just point towards the fresh pot of coffee.

After two cups of coffee and a bowl of cereal, Brooke started to feel better. She had come to a conclusion that night, as she lay sleeplessly in bed, and decided that now was as good a time as any to share it.

“You know, I think I’m going to say yes to Charlie. And I’ll clean my dishes later, but I’m going to go take a shower now.”

Brooke turned and quickly left the room, but after a moment’s pause, she heard someone jump up from the table and follow her. Once inside the bedroom, she turned to face Katie, who closed the door and then looked back with a very confused expression on her face.

“You’re saying yes to Charlie? Why?? I mean, last night...I thought it was pretty clear that Charlie’s not the one you’re interested in.”

“No, he’s not. But I can’t handle this. I can’t handle Sam right now. I can’t handle the way I feel around her. I can’t handle listening to her talk about Luke. Talk about the pros and cons of FUCKING Luke. I need some kind of distraction. Any kind of distraction. So, Charlie lucks out by being the right kind of offer.”

Brooke pled silently with her eyes for Katie to just let it go.

After staring at Brooke for another few seconds, she just shrugged her shoulders. “Fine. I don’t think it’s a great idea, but if that’s what you need, then fine.”

[ It’s not what I want, but it’s what I can have. ]


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sam was about to knock on Brooke’s door, but she was halted by the sound of Brooke talking on the phone.

“I know! Look, I think it’s safe to say that I’m even less happy about it than you are. But it was the guys’ idea, and I couldn’t exactly say no, now could I? Maybe if I had more time, but they put me right on the spot, and I didn’t have a handy excuse ready.”

Sam didn’t like eavesdropping. So even though she was quite curious as to what Brooke was talking about, she raised her fist again and knocked. Brooke opened the door and waved Sam inside, but was preoccupied with listening to whoever was on the phone.

Brooke obviously wasn’t ready to go yet, though, as there were numerous shirts strewn about the room, but Brooke wasn’t actually wearing any of them. Sam blushed as she felt her eyes immediately drawn to Brooke’s pink bra, but she quickly looked away, giving Brooke her privacy.

“Yeah, she just got here...I’ll call you or see you later, to let you know how it goes...Yeah, thanks...Okay, bye Katie.”

Sam frowned. She had noticed that Brooke and Katie had gotten a lot closer lately. And she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about it. On one hand, she was happy that her two best friends got along so well. But on the other hand...she was almost jealous. Because sometimes it felt like Katie had taken over Sam’s role as Brooke’s confidant.

“Sorry, Sam. I’ll be ready in just a minute.”

Sam turned to face Brooke again, and was relieved to see her pulling on a shirt. At the same time, the door opened again, and Alexis walked in. For the second time in the last month, Alexis was once again trying out a new hair color. She was currently going with a multicolored, but primarily pink look.

“I sure hope that shirt is in the process of going on, not coming off...’Cause if it’s the latter, then I guess I’ll just leave you two alone.”

Sam chuckled, as Brooke blushed and glared at Alexis.

“Ha ha, you’re so funny.  But no need for you to worry yourself, all is good and innocent, and my shirt will be staying on my body. Sam and I are about to leave.”

“Oh, right! It’s the big double date tonight! Good stuff. So where are the boy toys?”

“We’re meeting them at the restaurant,” Sam answered. “And with any luck, Brooke will be ready to leave soon, or else we’re gonna be late.”

Sam glanced over her shoulder, where Brooke had moved to search through some drawers for something or other.

“Awesome. Well, you kids have fun. I’m actually just stopping in for a minute. I had to come get my bio book, and now I’m off to chill with Jason and try to get some work done. Alas, while you two get to go out on a date, I get to hang out in a library.”

[ It almost sounds like Alex is saying that just Brooke and I are going on a date. Together. By ourselves. But that’s obviously not what she meant, so whatever. I don’t know why I just thought that. ]

Alexis continued, “But you gotta admit, gay guys can often be so much more fun than the straight ones. Anyways, see you two later.”

Brooke finally found what she was looking for -- a tube of lip gloss. “Well I’m ready, so we can all head out together.”

The subway ride to the restaurant was pretty quiet. Brooke seemed preoccupied with something, and kept tapping her foot at an incessant rate. At one point, Sam literally grabbed onto Brooke’s thigh to hold it still.

[ What is Brooke so nervous about? And she’s barely looked at me since I showed up at her room. ]

“Brooke, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s great. Why?” Even when talking to Sam, Brooke still looked straight ahead.

“You just seem a little...I dunno...agitated about something.”

“No, I’m fine. And this is our stop, so let’s go.”

The restaurant was just a few blocks from there, and they found Luke and Charlie already sitting down. Sam and Brooke joined them, each lightly kissing her respective boyfriend.

After they had all ordered their meals, Sam got up to go to the restroom.

[ This is so much more awkward than I thought it would be. I don’t even know why it’s so awkward...we all normally get along pretty well. But I guess it’s a whole different dynamic when it’s just the four of us. ]

As she was returning to the table, she saw that Charlie was talking. Brooke turned to look in her direction. She quickly looked away again, but then seemed to do a double-take, bringing her gaze back towards Sam. Sam wasn’t sure, but it almost seemed like Brooke’s eyes swept up and down Sam’s body.

[ Did Brooke just check me out? No, she probably just hadn’t noticed what I was wearing before, since she hasn’t looked at me for more than half a second before now. ]

Sam had actually had a lot of trouble figuring out what she was going to wear that night. She finally decided on a silky, red, tight-fitting v-neck top and black pinstripe pants. The shirt had been an impulse buy a month earlier, and she hadn’t actually worn it yet. She thought it looked good on her, but wasn’t sure. Brooke’s seemingly positive appraisal, however, eased some of Sam’s worries in that regard.

As Sam reached the table, Charlie was still talking, Brooke was now staring intently at her lap, and Luke was staring at Brooke with an expression of shock, mixed with what almost looked like anger. Brooke looked up to see Luke staring at her. She looked back at Luke defiantly. They simultaneously stole quick glances toward Sam, before going back to staring at each other. There was some kind of silent communication between them, and Sam had no idea what was going on. Charlie, meanwhile, had finally caught on to the fact that no one was really listening to him, so he also just looked around the table in confusion as to what had happened.

Mercifully, the waiter showed up right then to bring them their food, momentarily breaking the sudden tension at the table.

Fortunately, the good food gave them something safe to talk about for a little while. Luke kept looking back and forth between Sam and Brooke, though, and it was starting to get annoying.

Sam didn’t really understand what Brooke saw in Charlie, but she had to admit that tonight he was doing an admiral job of keeping some kind of conversation going. The guy could talk about anything, it seemed.

“My family has been acting so insane lately. We just found out that my older sister’s boyfriend is going to propose to her next weekend, and my parents are about to explode with excitement about the whole thing. Michelle totally knows that something weird is going on, but luckily, no one’s let the cat out of the bag quite yet.”

“So how’d you guys find out about it?” Sam was happy for something to take Luke’s attention away from her and Brooke.

“Well, he did the whole old-fashioned thing, and asked my parents for Michelle’s hand in marriage.”

Luke commented, “Nice. Classy.”

“No, wait. It’s not ‘classy.’ No offense to your sister’s boyfriend, Charlie, but I think it’s a horrible idea.” Everyone turned to look at Brooke.

Sam was worried to see Luke look almost excited at the prospect of an argument.

[ This is SO not going to end well. I just know it. ]

“Horrible? Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, Brooke? I think it’s romantic. Aren’t girls like you supposed to like that kind of thing?”

Brooke frowned. “Okay, first of all...‘Girls like me’? What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“Just, you know...girly girls. Girls that like shopping and want guys to take care of everything for them. The type of girl that Sam used to love writing editorials against.”

“Hey, don’t bring me into this,” Sam interrupted. “And yes, I used to write anti-Brooke editorials, but I’ve since learned that there’s a lot more to her than that, so I have to admit that I don’t know what your point is.”

“Thanks, Sam. And the point is that you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Luke. You don’t know anything about who I am.” Brooke’s voice remained eerily sweet and calm, but her eyes flashed with anger.

“But to get back to the original point, I like a guy to be romantic just as much as anyone else. But asking your girlfriend’s parents for their permission to get married isn’t romantic. It’s out-dated and misogynistic.”

“Where do you get that idea?” Luke asked. “It’s considerate. It’s respectful. It shows that you want to get along with her family, that you’re willing to go that extra step to make everything go smoothly. Having the parents’ approval ensuresall that.”

“But it’s not the parents’ decision! If my dad didn’t approve of the person I love, then that would suck, but it has nothing to do with him, and if we really loved each other, then the lack of his approval wouldn’t matter. You’re marrying the girl, not the father. The tradition of asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is rooted in the idea that the daughter has no say in the matter. She’s just a piece of property to be bought! I’m sorry, but I don’t find THAT to be considerate and respectful.”

Sam felt a thrill run through her. It had been a while since she had heard Brooke argue. And for once, she wasn’t on the receiving end of Brooke’s scorn. It was nice to watch her in action, without having to worry about holding her own. Seeing Brooke all fired up was definitely quite a sight to see.

Charlie grinned and slung his arm proudly around Brooke’s shoulders.

“I think my girl’s got you beat, there, Luke. I learned very quickly that it’s useless to have an argument with Brooke, because she’ll always win. You’d think that you would’ve learned the same thing with Sam. Just do me a favor, Brooke, and don’t think too badly of my sister if she’s totally charmed by the whole thing.”

Sam stiffened a little the moment that Charlie’s arm made contact with Brooke. She felt an immediate dampening of the feeling that watching Brooke had created in her. Somehow, she didn’t like the idea of Brooke being “my girl” to Charlie. Brooke had just finished ranting against male entitlement over women, and here was Charlie, possessively wrapping his arm around her.

Brooke merely rolled her eyes. She, too, seemed to deflate under the weight of Charlie’s arm, losing some of the fire in her eyes. Sam tried to catch her gaze, tried to read what she was thinking. Brooke looked uncomfortable. Like she wanted to be anywhere but there in the restaurant with the three of them.

[ Is this what Brooke was talking about, then, when she was on the phone with Katie? Was the prospect of tonight what she was so unhappy about? ]

As they exited the restaurant a while later, Sam managed to get Brooke’s attention. Brooke had kept a superficial smile on her face for the rest of the meal, but she only really brightened up when she could talk lightly with Charlie and not deal with either Luke or Sam.

“Hey, you alright?”

When Brooke turned towards Sam, a strand of hair hung in front of her face. Without thinking, Sam reached out and lightly brushed it back and behind Brooke’s ear.

The touch startled Brooke, and she quickly took a step away from Sam. She stared at Sam with a pained expression, as Sam looked back, her hand frozen in mid-air, unsure of what she had done wrong.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Something over Sam’s shoulder caught Brooke’s attention, and Sam glanced back, to see Luke watching them, as Charlie tried to flag down a cab. Sam turned back to Brooke, who looked at her sadly. “I’m just tired. You should go with your boyfriend. He mentioned that you were thinking of going back to Columbia tonight, and that’s in the opposite direction. Charlie can get me home, so I’ll just see you later. Goodnight, Sam.”

[ What’s wrong, Brooke? Why won’t you talk to me? ]

In the cab with Sam, Luke didn’t wait long before venting his various frustrations with Brooke.

After letting him go on for a minute, Sam interrupted.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is. I know that I’m dating you, but Brooke is my best friend, so I can’t imagine what you expect to gain by complaining about her to me! You’re acting like a jealous little kid, and I have no idea why. Brooke did nothing wrong tonight, and right now, all you’re succeeding at doing is making me wish that I had gone home with her, instead of coming with you!”

[ Whoever thought up the idea of a double date is an idiot. ]


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Brooke had been driving for about five hours, and it was almost midnight, but she didn’t feel like stopping yet. She drove along the near-empty highway, somewhere in the middle of New Mexico. She was pretty sure that Albuquerque would be coming up in an hour or so, and that seemed like a good enough place to stay for the night.

Brooke loved the stillness of the night -- the silence of everything except for Sam’s slow and steady breathing. Sam murmured in her sleep, shifting around in the seat. Brooke smiled, as she glanced over at her step-sister. Sam always looked so cute when she slept, Brooke couldn’t help but smile.

This was their fourth day on the road, and they would probably make it back home in another day. It had been a very long four days, but Brooke was absolutely loving it. At the end of the school year, Brooke’s dad and Jane had driven across the country to go pick up Brooke and Sam. The parentals then took a plane home, as Sam and Brooke were left to drive the packed car back to California. They had done pretty much nothing other than drive, but it gave them plenty of time to watch the passing scenery, and sing along to the radio, and just talk. Luke and Charlie hadn’t even called too often, which would have taken away from Brooke’s enjoyment of the trip.

Getting to Albuquerque took less time than Brooke had anticipated, and then it was pretty easy to find a cheap motel room. She managed to drag a still-very-sleepy Sam into the room, and although she hadn’t felt tired in the car, Brooke fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The next thing Brooke was consciously aware of was the smell of fresh coffee. She reluctantly opened her eyes, and found that Sam was no longer in bed. She stretched, and the motion must have caught Sam’s attention, as she turned from her chair by the window.

“Brooke, you’re awake! I hope I didn’t wake you up. I tried to be quiet. But come look! According to this guide, those are theSandiaMountains. ‘Sandia’ means ‘watermelon’ in Spanish, and some people say that they’re named that because of the pink color of the sunrise reflecting off the face of the mountains. Isn’t it beautiful?”

Brooke sleepily turned on her side, so that she could see the view out the window. Of course, Brooke thought that the view of the person right beside the window was worth a good look all on its own.

“Certainly not a bad sight to wake up to. But who are you, and what have you done with my friend Sam? Because the Sam I know likes to sleep in until at least 10am. The Sam I know would definitely not voluntarily wake up in time for sunrise.”

Sam just grinned, as Brooke yawned. “Very funny. But if you include the sleep I got while you were driving, I got about 10 hours of sleep last night. I just happened to wake up on my own. But you must be exhausted! So don’t mind me, you should totally go back to sleep. We have more time before we need to hit the road again. I’ll even come and re-tuck you in.”

Sam walked over to the bed, and straightened the sheets which had gotten tangled up during the night, pulling them around Brooke. Brooke held her breath as Sam smiled at her, then bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

“Goodnight, Princess. Sweet dreams.”

[ If you’re in them, then I’m sure they will be. ]

~~~

One month later, and Brooke was bored. After an insanely busy previous summer, she had decided to take it easy this time. At first, it had been great -- plenty of time for sleeping in every day, and lounging around watching TV or going to the beach or shopping or whatever else she felt like. However, not having anything to do was starting to get old.

It was now noon, and she had yet to change out of her pajamas. The whole high school gang was coming over soon, so she knew that she should probably get dressed. But she had about an hour before they were supposed to show up, which was just enough time to get ready.

At that thought, the doorbell rang.

[ Damn it. Of course, they have to show up early, on a day I’m acting like a total slob. ]

But Sam was in the shower, and no one else was home, so Brooke had to be the one to answer the door.

Brooke grumbled as she opened the door, and started speaking before she even saw who was on the other side.

“You’re early, which is totally not cool, and...”

Brooke froze, staring in surprise at the two grinning, but unexpected, faces that greeted her.

“Charlie! Luke! What are you guys doing here? I haven’t gotten dressed yet. We weren’t expecting you. I can’t believe you’re here right now. I have to go get changed.” Brooke’s sentences followed in quick succession, and she then bolted back into the house.

On her way upstairs, she heard Charlie comment, “Well, at least she left the door open. I guess that means we can go in.”

[ Charlie’s here. At my house. Why is he here? He shouldn’t be here. Okay, you need to stop freaking out. He is, officially, your boyfriend, so I guess that’s a pretty legitimate reason for being here. But now you’re talking to yourself in your head, which probably isn’t a good sign. ]

She heard the shower turn off, so went to poke her head inside the bathroom.

“Jesus, Brooke! Knock much?! I’m kind of not wearing clothing, here!”

For once, Brooke was actually too flustered to get sidetracked by the fact that only a towel stood between her and Sam’s nakedness.

“Sam, Charlie and Luke are here! I don’t know why. You need to get dressed quickly and then go entertain them or something. I need a shower and can’t deal with them right this second.” She closed the door to the bathroom again, and went to continue her freak-out in her own room. The summer had allowed her time to forget about the problem of Charlie and what she was going to do about him. Until now.

A little while later, Brooke made her way back down the stairs, to find Sam, Luke, and Charlie all sitting in the living room.

“Hey, guys. Sorry about earlier. And to what do we owe this visit?”

Charlie stood up from the couch to give Brooke a hug and a kiss. “Well, baby...Luke lives nearby, as you know. And remember how I said my parents were thinking of taking a vacation out to San Diego? Well, we got out there last week, and then I took a train to Luke’s house yesterday, and we drove over today as a surprise!”

“Well, you certainly managed to surprise me!”

Just then, the front door opened as Lily, Carmen, andHarrison entered, simply letting themselves in. They were in the middle of conversation, but stopped as soon as they saw the two unfamiliar faces in the room.

Lily just smiled in greeting and walked right up to Luke and Charlie, extending her hand. “Hello! I’m Lily. And that’s Carmen and Harrison. Who are you?”

“Uh. I’m Luke. And that’s Charlie. We’re dating Sam and Brooke.”

At that, Carmen hurried over and smacked Sam on the arm. “Oh my god. You two totally didn’t tell us that your boys were coming! This is so exciting!”

Sam frowned as she rubbed her arm where Carmen had hit her. “Well, it’s kind of news to us, too.”

Harrison   
just remained standing by the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest, as he warily eyed the two guys.

The doorbell then rang again, and Sam went to answer it, revealing Nicole and Mary Cherry. They both brushed passed Sam, with Nicole “accidentally” running her shoulder into her brunette nemesis. “Ugh. I can’t believe I let Brooke convince us to come be in the same room as you losers. Brooke, hun, you’re lucky that I like you. But hello...who are these fine-looking gentlemen, and why haven’t I met them yet??”

After another round of introductions, everyone settled in to just sit and talk. Luke and Charlie looked a little overwhelmed by the craziness that was all of their friends. Brooke was just relieved that she didn’t have to focus too much attention on her boyfriend. It took all her and Sam’s energy just to diffuse the arguments that almost erupted between Nicole or Mary Cherry and someone else every few minutes.

“Now wait just one second, there, Mr. Luke. You tryin’ to tell me that you actually LIKE datin’ Spam? ‘Cuz that just seems mighty strange to me. Someone as good-lookin’ as you shudn’t be wastin’ yer time with someone like her. Now ME, on the other hand. I wud be the perfect catch fer someone like you.”

“God, Mary Cherry...you are so full of yourself! Luke obviously thinks that Sam is hot, and I think that the two of them make a great couple! You’d never be able to handle someone like Luke -- he’d use too many big words that you wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t know what yer talkin’ ‘bout, lil’ Lily. If I was datin’ Luke, then he wudn’t be usin’ big words. He wudn’t have time to, ‘cuz we’d be spendin’ all our time makin’ sweet, sweet love! Ooh, I know! I bet Spam has put poor Luke under some kind of spell! Nic, we have to save Luke from Spam’s evil clutches!”

A few hours later, and the high school friends had left, leaving the rest of them to recuperate. Over the course of the afternoon, though, Brooke had been dismayed to learn that, while Charlie was planning on staying at Luke’s house, he would be sticking around for another week before he returned home to Chicago.

~~~

Finally, Charlie was gone. It had been a long week. Brooke tiredly entered the Palace, took a few minutes to chat with Jane and play with little Mac, and then dragged her feet upstairs, collapsing onto her bed.

She sighed, and then got up and let herself into Sam’s room. Sam was sitting at her desk, typing something on her computer. Sam glanced at her briefly, before continuing to type.

“Well, Brooke, how kind of you to finally grace me with your presence.”

[ Huh? What is Sam’s problem? ]

“Uh, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well try thinking a little harder, there, blondie. I mean, what could I possibly be talking about? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe just the fact that I spent an hour waiting for you at the gallery where you had promised to go see a photography exhibit with me. The one I had noticed especially because I thought you’d be interested. It was a great show, by the way. And I hope you don’t mind, but since you were a no-show, I called up Lily and she came instead.”

“Oh, shit. Sam, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot! I was with Charlie...and things went a little longer than I anticipated, and I just lost track of everything else.”

“Right. Of course. This whole week, you’ve been too busy sucking face with your precious boyfriend! I mean, who needs regular old friends to hang out with, when you’ve got a visiting boyfriend, right?”

“Oh, come on, Sam. No need to be overly dramatic. I really am sorry! This stupid visit has thrown me completely off-base this past week. I mean, he made the whole effort to come all the way out here, I couldn’t just ignore him. And I resent your implication that all we’ve been doing is making out, which is completely not true! I am sorry that we haven’t been hanging out together as much. But if you remember, over winter break, Luke practically lived here for a month, and I put up with that without complaint. So you’d think that you could deal with one week!”

Brooke didn’t really want to fight with Sam, but the stress of the week had been building up, and Sam was providing a perfect target for lashing out.

“But when Luke was here, I never ditched you just to go be with him. We at least did stuff together!”

“Yeah, and that was SO much fun for me! Hanging out as the third wheel with you and your boyfriend -- loads of fun!”

“Look, I guess I just really don’t understand what you’re doing with Charlie. You have nothing in common with him, he can be a total ass sometimes, and you become a completely different person when you’re around him! Suddenly, you become the perfect, stereotypical, blonde! You’re back to acting like you did in high school, with Josh. If that’s all he sees in you -- the trophy girlfriend -- then I don’t know what you’re doing, putting up with his shit.”

“Wow. I’m glad you’re finally telling me what you really think. So, my idea of being a good girlfriend couldn’t possibly lead to anything more than trophy status, huh?”

“Brooke, that’s not what I meant…”

“No? Because that’s what it sounded like! Well while we’re being honest, here, I have a few things that I want to tell you, too. You and Luke? Not a good couple! And the sex is not going to get better! You think about it too much!”

“Are you saying that it’s my fault that the sex isn’t good??”

“No, not necessarily. I have no way of knowing about your personal contribution to the issue.”

Brooke paused momentarily, blushing, as it struck her that, technically, she did have a way of knowing. Because she had already slept with Sam. She looked at Sam, seeing the same look of alarm cross Sam’s features, and Brooke guessed that a similar thought process was running through her step-sister’s head. But they hadn’t talked about that night in over a year, and she didn’t plan to bring it up again now.

So, although a little more flustered, Brooke steeled herself and continued. “Well, whatever. I don’t know whether the sex is bad because you think about it too much, or whether you think about it too much because the sex is bad. Probably the second one, but in any case, that doesn’t really matter. The point is, the sex is bad, and it’s been bad for four months! I’m going to go out on a limb here, and guess that it’s still going to be bad another four months from now! And yet, you stay with him! Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, not by a long shot. But it is a major part! But you won’t break up with him. And you know why? Because you’re too nice, and because you’re a coward! Luke is ‘safe,’ for you now. You know what you’re getting with him. And you’re too scared that if you let him go, no one else is going to come along. And if you keep thinking like that, then maybe no one will. But if you open yourself up for once, put yourself out there, take a risk... Then you could have anyone you wanted.”

Brooke and Sam glared at each other wordlessly. The intensity between them was palpable. They hadn’t had a big fight like this in a long time; Brooke had forgotten how draining it was, how fighting with Sam always made her feel both exhausted and frustrated beyond belief.

She let her shoulders drop, as she sighed and looked at Sam sadly. “Anyway, like I said, I’m really sorry that I forgot about going to the gallery with you. I had been looking forward to it, too. But I came in here to tell you that I just broke up with Charlie, and it didn’t exactly go too well, and I had wanted to talk to you about it, but I really don’t want to be around you right now. So I’m just gonna go.”

Brooke saw Sam’s face immediately soften, but she just turned around and left, going to her own room to lie down on her bed and cry.

[ Why can't I just like Charlie the way that I like Sam? Life would be so much easier! ]


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** This chapter has taken a bit of a darker turn. So, nothing graphic, but this chapter is rated R, for themes of violence.

PART 3 -- Junior Year

  
Chapter 14

Sam tried to enjoy the party, but she just wasn’t feeling it. It was loud, it was crowded, the floor was sticky with spilled beer, there were a lot of people that she didn’t know, and the music wasn’t even that good.

Part of the problem was that she had been up really late the last two nights in a row, trying to finish a 20-page paper for class. Normally, she could write really quickly, but ideas had seemed to evade her for this topic. So she really just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep, but Katie had made her promise that she would at least stop by for a little while.

Sam had told Luke that he shouldn’t bother coming down to the NYU campus, since she’d be going to bed early. She didn’t tell him about the party. The relationship between them had become somewhat strained lately, and she just didn’t feel like dealing with him tonight.

[ Was Brooke right? Maybe I am a coward. ]

After their fight, it took about a week for things to get back to normal for Sam and Brooke, but there appeared to be no lasting damage to their friendship. Somehow, though, that conversation about Brooke’s break-up with Charlie never happened. Sam hadn’t been sure whether or not Brooke still wanted to talk about it, so she just didn’t bring it up.

While she waited for Katie to return from the keg, Sam started thinking about whether she had been at the party long enough to constitute “making an appearance.” Honestly, watching a bunch of drunken frat boys wasn’t exactly her idea of “fun.” At that moment, though, Jason came up behind her and draped his arms around her shoulders.

“Hey, Sam! I’m glad you decided to come!”

“Yeah, I’m not staying for long, though...Sorry to be lame, but I’m really tired. It’s been a long week.”

“Well before you leave, you totally have to come meet Seth! And have you seen Brooke? I saw her earlier, but now I can’t find her.”

“Wait....Seth, the elusive new boyfriend who’s been too busy to meet any of us, because he has drama rehearsal everyday? Awesome, you know we’ve all been dying to meet the guy you’ve been raving about! But no, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Brooke at all tonight.”

After meeting Seth (and quietly expressing her complete approval to Jason), she was about to leave, when Katie caught her arm.

“You’re not leaving, yet, are you? You practically just got here. Besides, you have to come help me!”

[ Ugh. I’m never going to get out of here. ]

“Help you? Katie, what are you talking about?”

“Okay, so you know the cute guy in my English class that I told you about? Well, he’s here, but he has a friend with him, so you totally have to come be my ‘wingwoman’ for the night.”

“So I have to go talk with the random friend, to give you an opportunity to talk and flirt with cute English class guy? But I’m already dating someone. Aren’t ‘wingpeople’ supposed to be single?”

“But Luke’s not here, so the random friend doesn’t have to know that you’re not single! It’s just a friendly little chat, it doesn’t have to mean anything. I know you’re tired, but pleeeeeease? Just stay for a little while longer. I’ve already made some serious eye contact with cute English class guy, now I just need you to help me follow through.”

Katie smiled hesitantly at Sam, who sighed, and smiled weakly back.

“Fine. But only because I’m such a fantastic friend.”

Katie grinned and threw her arms around Sam. “Great! You ARE a fantastic friend, and I’ll never forget it! And his name is Ryan, by the way. Please don’t call him ‘cute English class guy’ to his face. And I think the random friend is Mike. Or maybe John.”

Forty-five minutes later, and with Katie having successfully exchanged phone numbers with cute English class guy, Sam finally made her way back to her room. She, Katie, Brooke, and Alexis had managed to snag a sweet housing deal for their junior year, living in a four-bedroom suite.

Sam collapsed into bed, glad to have finally earned the right to catch up on some much-needed sleep.

Sam was almost asleep when she heard a light knock at her door. She grumbled tiredly to herself as she went to the door and opened it.

Brooke stood there, looking at the floor, with her arms crossed tightly in front of herself. Her shirt looked slightly torn and was missing a few buttons.

Sam’s heart seemed to skip a beat at the sight in front of her. “Brooke? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Come in.”

Brooke took a step inside the room, but still wouldn’t look at Sam. Sam touched Brooke lightly on the arm, trying to get the blonde to look at her. Brooke flinched violently and looked sharply up at Sam, an expression of fear in her eyes.

“Okay, Brooke, you’re really starting to scare me, here. Talk to me, hun, what happened?”

“I’m sorry, Sam. I just. I was at this party. I think I briefly saw you there, too. A bunch of us went to hang out in Josh’s room. You know Josh, right? Charlie’s old roommate. But then, bit by bit everyone left, until, before I even realized it was happening, it was just me and Charlie.”

Brooke took a deep breath and started pacing around the room, her arms still wrapped protectively around herself. Sam stared at her in horror. She really didn’t like where it sounded like this story might be headed.

“We were just talking. You know how I’ve wanted to stay friends with him. Even though I broke up with him, he was still a nice guy. But then...Oh, Sam. It all happened so quickly.”

Brooke finally stopped pacing and turned to face Sam, with tears now spilling down her face. Sam found her hands clenching into tight fists.

[ Oh god, no. That fucking bastard. ]

“What did he do, Brooke? If he hurt you... I swear, I’ll fucking kill him.” Sam’s voice was low and hard, full of pure anger and hatred.

“When we were dating...we never...I never slept with him. I just... It never felt right. So I wouldn’t. And then tonight...he was so drunk. He tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away.”

Sam was actually surprised to hear that Charlie and Brooke hadn’t been having sex when they were dating. She had just assumed that they were; assumed that Brooke simply wasn’t as talkative about sex as Sam found herself being. Now, though, it was Sam’s turn to start pacing. She had been so exhausted only a few minutes ago, but now she was wide awake. She wanted to hit something.

[ Brooke looks so small. This scared, vulnerable, hurting girl isn’t the Brooke that I know. ]

“He got so angry. And he started talking...about how I had used him. How I had strung him along for a while, and then it wasn’t even worth it for him in the end, because I wouldn’t put out. He always seemed like such a nice guy, Sam. How could I have been so wrong??”

Brooke started crying harder now. Sam stopped pacing and quickly crossed the room, pulling Brooke into her arms. Brooke buried her face into Sam’s neck, as Sam gently stroked her hair. Sam felt a tight tension in Brooke’s shoulders. And Brooke’s arms were still folded in front of her, creating a knot between their bodies.

Sam pulled back slightly, so she could look at Brooke directly. Brooke’s eyes were bloodshot, but she managed to control her crying. Sam reached up to Brooke’s cheek, wiping away a few stray tears.

“Brooke, this isn’t your fault. Don’t ever think that. Okay? This isn’t your fault. And I really really hate to ask this, but I feel like I need to. Did he....God, I don’t even want to say it... Did he rape you?”

Both Sam and Brooke cringed at the question, and Brooke shut her eyes tightly, taking in a big, shaky breath.

“No. Almost, but no.”

Brooke opened her eyes again, staring straight into Sam. She chuckled humorlessly as she then looked towards Sam’s feet and mumbled, “I managed to get in one well-placed knee to the crotch, and that gave me time to get out of there. I came straight here. I didn’t even know if you’d be here. But I didn’t want to be alone.”

Sam felt only a short bit of relief before she was once again filled with anger. She returned to pacing furiously.

“That son of a bitch! I hate him. I’ll kill him. Do you know where is he now, Brooke? I swear to god, I’ll fucking kill him! Or maybe I’ll just castrate him! Yeah, I like that idea!”

“I don’t know where he is. But Sammy? You don’t need to kill him right now. Can you...can you just...?”

Sam felt some of the anger leave her as she once again focused on Brooke, and solely Brooke.

“What? What can I do? I’ll do anything you want.”

“Can you just hold me?”

Sam felt her heart break at how vulnerable and fragile Brooke sounded. She smiled sadly before returning to wrap her arms tightly around the blonde. Brooke clung to her just as tightly.

Sam turned her head to whisper comfortingly into Brooke’s ear. “Of course, Princess. For as long as you need. I’m here. You’re safe now. I’ll never let him hurt you again. I promise.”

Sam felt Brooke nod into the crook of her neck. She gently led Brooke over to the bed, only releasing her in order to get out some comfortable pajamas for her to sleep in. Brooke numbly allowed Sam to help her change clothes, and Sam promptly threw the discarded clothes in the trash, knowing that Brooke wouldn’t want to wear them ever again.

Finally, Sam helped Brooke into bed, crawling in after her and immediately wrapping her arms protectively around Brooke’s waist, spooning into her from behind. Brooke was shivering, even though she said that she wasn’t cold. Sam tenderly kissed the back of Brooke’s neck, and then simply held her. Eventually, she finally felt Brooke relax somewhat, and fall into an exhausted sleep.

Sam’s heart, meanwhile, still hadn’t slowed down. She didn’t think that she had ever felt this strongly toward her step-sister. It was partly just a straightforward desire to protect Brooke. But there was a hint of something else, too. Something that Sam couldn’t quite identify. Slowly, though, exhaustion overtook Sam, as well.

[ I’m glad you came to me, Brooke. I promise that you can always feel safe with me. ]


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Brooke lay in bed, thinking about Sam. It had been a week and a half since the incident with Charlie. She hadn’t had to see him again since then, and she suspected that the only reason was because of Sam.

Alexis and Katie had both noticed that something was up with Brooke, and rather than lie to them, she had sat them down and told them what happened. Later, when Brooke was commenting to Alexis that she was surprised that she hadn’t run into Charlie, yet, since they used to cross paths fairly often on their way to and from classes, Alex had gotten a weird look on her face.

Brooke managed to extract the information that Sam had apparently gone to “have a few words” with Charlie, basically warning him to stay the hell away from Brooke. Brooke was both extremely grateful and touched that Sam would do such a thing. She really didn’t want to see Charlie anytime soon.

Sam had become her anchor, once again. Brooke was reminded of the time in high school, after Nicole’s near-murderous rampage. Sam had been perfect back then, too. Comforting, but not overbearing. Somehow, Sam knew just how to take Brooke’s pain seriously, while simultaneously continuing on with life as usual. Both now and back then, Brooke really appreciated having a sense of normalcy. It was important to know that life went on.

The key difference this time, though, was that Brooke’s main problems weren’t physical. Other than a few bruises which had faded quickly, there had been nothing to mark the fact that something had changed within Brooke. The scars were there, they just weren’t visible.

As Brooke lay in contemplation, the door to her room opened, and a figure, illuminated briefly by the light in the hallway, entered the room quietly and closed the door again.

Brooke calmly turned towards the figure, whom she could just barely see in the darkness, and smiled to herself.

 _Brooke hesitated outside Sam’s room._

 _[ This is stupid. Why am I being such a coward? Just knock on the door, already. But no, I shouldn’t do this. Sam’s done enough already. I should just go. ]_

 _Brooke was about to turn around and leave, when the door swung open, and Sam almost walked straight into her._

 _“Brooke! Wow, I just totally almost ran you over. Shit, bad choice of words. Sorry! Anyway, I was actually just about to come see how you were doing.”_

 _“Oh, yeah. I was about to knock. I’m okay. You know. All things considered.”_

 _Sam looked expectantly at Brooke, who realized that Sam must be waiting for her explanation as to why she had been about to knock at the door._

 _“Um, well... Can I come in?”_

 _“Right, yeah, of course. Sorry.”_

 _Both girls were a little jittery. It was the first night after the party. But Brooke actually didn’t feel as awkward as she thought she might have, considering the fact that she had woken up that morning with her body draped completely over Sam’s._

 _“Well, I was in my room, just now. Lying in bed. But I just couldn’t get comfortable. You know? I couldn’t relax. And, uh...so...I just thought...I dunno...I wondered...well...”_

 _“You can sleep in here again if you want to, Brooke. I’m about ready for bed, myself.”_

 _Brooke looked up at Sam in surprise. “Really? I mean, you wouldn’t mind?”_

 _Sam smiled at her shyly. “No, not at all. I actually slept really well last night. And I meant what I said last night. I’m right here, and I’ll hold you for as long as you want me to, Brooke. You mean so much to me. I’ll do anything I can.”_

 _Brooke smiled in relief, her eyes tearing up a bit. “You mean so much to me, too, Sammy. Thank you. For everything.”_

Knowing that Sam had arrived, Brooke scooted closer to the wall, making room in her bed. Sam wordlessly slipped under the sheets, snuggling up to Brooke.

“Mmmm, you smell good. Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Sammy.”

After that second night in Sam’s room, Brooke and Sam settled into a nightly routine. Whichever one finished her homework for the night first would send a quick email to the other one, letting her know that she was going to bed. When the second one finished her own work, she would then let herself into the first one’s room, and join her in bed.

They always started the night with both girls sleeping on their sides, and Sam spooning into Brooke from behind, one arm draped over Brooke’s waist. By the morning, though, Sam was usually on her back, with Brooke part-way on top of her, their arms wrapped around each other. And somehow, it was never awkward, when they woke up like that.

Until recently, Brooke would never have allowed herself to get this close, physically, to Sam. It would have been too agonizing, to share such closeness in a non-romantic way. But now, that un-official rule had been thrown out the window. Because Brooke needed the physical comfort, and Sam seemed willing to give it.

Of course, Luke hadn’t been too happy when he heard that Sam didn’t plan on spending nights at Columbia for a little while, and that Sam didn’t think that he should spend the night at NYU, either. Brooke felt a little guilty about this, but not really. She was only too glad to serve as the reason for there being less Luke around.

[ It’s not really a competition, and she is still officially dating him, but for this, I’m really happy that Sam picked me over Luke. ]

With Sam’s arms wrapped comfortably around her, Brooke felt complete. Sam’s hold was tight, but not suffocating. Snuggling with Sam had quickly become Brooke’s new favorite hobby.

She had been gratified to learn that Sam apparently felt similarly, as well.

 _Brooke was reading an assignment for class, while lying on her bed. She was surprised, when Sam walked in and proceeded to essentially crawl into Brooke’s lap to take a nap. When she woke up, Sam explained that she had simply gotten used to sleeping in the same room as Brooke. She apparently didn’t sleep as well on her own anymore._

Brooke listened to the gradual steadying of Sam’s breathing. She loved listening to and being with Sam like this, with all her guards down.

Brooke’s breath hitched, however, as she felt Sam’s fingers start to move idly across her stomach. Brooke’s shirt had ridden up slightly, leaving her skin bare to Sam’s touch. Sam had never done this before. For a moment, Brooke almost forgot to breathe.

“Sam?” Brooke whispered. “Sam, are you awake?”

Sam grunted slightly, but Brooke wasn’t sure that Sam was at all conscious of what Brooke had actually said. She doubted that Sam was even truly aware of what her fingers were doing. Brooke had learned that there was a period, just before Sam fell fully asleep, when she was partly awake, but even if you managed to have any kind of conversation with her, she would have no recollection of it the next morning.

Brooke, on the other hand, was VERY aware of Sam’s every movement, tracing slow, lazy shapes around Brooke’s navel and across her belly.

At first, Brooke tensed up. Then, however, she simply let the feeling of Sam’s fingers wash over her, relaxing her. She was slightly embarrassed to feel the beginnings of a deep throbbing between her legs.

Brooke sighed, torn between wanting to pull farther away and wanting to get even closer to Sam, if it were possible.

[ Sam’s about 75% of the way to deep sleep, and here I am, getting turned on. Great. ]


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Sam was pacing back and forth in her room. She felt like she had been doing that a lot, lately. Luke would probably be there soon, and Sam still hadn’t figured out what, exactly, she wanted to say to him.

The idea had been to plan it all out ahead of time. That way, she’d be sure of getting her point across. But she didn’t even really know what her point was. Hence, the lack of preparation.

[ The point is, simply sharing a bed and cuddling with Brooke feels better than sleeping with Luke ever does. And that includes both the regular kind of sleeping and the “having sex” kind of sleeping. I don’t think Luke would take it too well if I word it quite like that, though. ]

Sometimes, Sam could barely believe that she spent every night snuggled up with Brooke. When she tried to think about it rationally, it just seemed so strange. But there was no denying that it felt right, somehow. Brooke was the one who needed the support, but Sam found herself just as reluctant to change their newly developed sleeping habits.

Sam was pretty sure that they were the only two who knew about the sleeping arrangement. It wasn’t like anyone would have any issues with the situation -- Brooke had gone through a traumatic experience, and Sam was there to comfort her.

But still, Sam wanted to keep it a secret, for now. Because it felt like there was more to it than that. Providing comfort was certainly not the only reason that Sam spent every night with her arms wrapped around Brooke. And Sam was just starting to admit to herself what the other reasons might be.

They were definitely surprising, these new feelings, but not completely shocking.

[ Because really, who WOULDN’T enjoy sharing a bed with someone as gorgeous and kind and wonderful as Brooke? ]

Sam frowned as she realized that, in a way, she owed the current situation to Charlie. Was it bad to feel happy about something that only happened because of something horrible?

Charlie. Just the thought of him still made her cringe. Sam hadn’t seen him in a while. She had the feeling that, ever since their conversation three weeks ago, he was doing his best to avoid her.

 _ Sam sat on the floor, propped up against a door and reading a book. She looked up as she heard the door to the hallway open. Charlie froze as soon as he saw Sam, sitting outside his room. _

_ “Sam. What...what are you doing here?” _

_ Sam stood up and glared at Charlie. “Well, I’m waiting for you, of course. I thought we should have a little chat,” she deadpanned. Charlie didn’t say anything, just looked at Sam worriedly. Sam sighed and continued, “Somehow, I doubt that you want to have this conversation while we stand out here in the middle of the hall. So are you going to let me into your room, or not?” _

_ Charlie seemed to snap out of his momentary daze, as he went to unlock the door. “Right. Yeah, sure.” _

_ Once inside, Charlie stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked anxiously over towards Sam, who stood by the door with her arms crossed. _

_ “So I’m guessing that Brooke told you about the other night. I don’t really know what you and I have to talk about, though. I’ve been purposely giving Brooke some space, and then, if I can just talk to Brooke, then...” _

_ Sam scoffed. “You want to talk to Brooke? I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” _

_ “I know, I know. I’m sure she doesn’t want to see me right now, which is why I haven’t approached her yet. But Sam, I just want to apologize. I feel horrible about...about what almost happened. If I could just talk to her...” _

_ Sam felt a return of the overwhelming anger that she had been feeling towards the man who now stood in front of her. Her whole body visibly tensed, as she took a few steps forward, until she stood right in front of Charlie. _

_ Charlie was significantly bigger and taller than Sam, but if anything, it was Charlie who looked intimidated. _

_ “Look. You lost the right to apologize to Brooke. She doesn’t want to see you! Period! You’re sorry?? Well that’s great, but that doesn’t change what ‘almost’ happened. It doesn’t change what DID happen! The fact that you didn’t succeed at what you set out to do doesn’t get you off the hook! So you lost your right to assuage your own guilt by apologizing to Brooke. An apology won’t make Brooke feel better. It won’t make her feel safer again. It’ll only make you feel better, and I don’t give a shit how you feel! So just back the fuck off!” _

_ “Please, Sam. I made one mistake...Just let me have five minutes with her...I want to make it right.” _

_ Sam looked at Charlie incredulously. Her voice lowered to a harsh whisper. “One mistake?? That’s how you see it? Charlie, you tried to RAPE her! That’s not just a simple mistake that can get fixed in five minutes!” _

_ Her voice rose in volume again, as she raised her arms to Charlie’s chest and shoved him backwards. The action took him by surprise, and he stumbled back a few steps. “So fuck you! If I had my way, you would’ve been expelled by now for sexual assault! But Brooke doesn’t want to go through the mess of pressing charges, and unlike you, I have no desire to force her to do something that she doesn’t want to do. So really, you should consider yourself lucky, you asshole!” _

_ Sam shoved Charlie again, and he almost tripped over his own feet, as he tried to get out of her way. He found himself with his back to the wall, and Sam still standing right up in his face. _

_ “Okay, okay, I’m really sorry! I’ll stay away from her, okay?” _

_ “That’s not good enough. You get to just go on with your life, like nothing happened? That’s not good enough! You should hurt too.” _

_ But Sam didn’t know what would make it good enough. She felt the frustration of everything wash over her. There was nothing she could do that would match the horribleness of what Charlie had done. So, without really thinking, her hand shot out to Charlie’s crotch, grabbing hold of his balls and squeezing tightly. She didn’t really know what she was doing, but figured that he would already be pretty sensitive because of Brooke’s well-placed knee, four nights earlier. _

_ Charlie’s eyes widened, as he sunk down a little ways against the wall, but with nowhere to go to get away from Sam’s grip. _

_ “Do you know why I’m doing this, Charlie?” _

_ “Um, because I’m an asshole?” _

_ “I’m sorry, that is an incorrect response. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I mean, it’s certainly true that you’re an asshole. But that’s not why I’m doing this. I’ve known a lot of assholes, but I don’t go around doing this too often.” _

_ “Well that’s good to know. But do you think you’ll be letting go anytime soon? I’m kind of in a lot of pain, here.” Charlie’s voice came out just above a strangled whisper. _

_ “That’s the whole point, you idiot! But anyway, I’m not doing this because you’re an asshole. I’m doing this because Brooke trusted you, and you took advantage of that, and she would never do something like this to you, but you deserve to have something done to you. And this is the best I can do. But remember, you may be in a lot of pain right now, but you generally won’t need to worry about it happening again with every girl you meet. Brooke, on the other hand, now has to worry that the next guy who comes along will turn into someone like you. And I just can’t get over how much that sucks.” _

_ Sam glared deeply at Charlie, who had by now shut his eyes tightly as he bit down on his bottom lip. _

_ [ It’s good to see him in pain, but...it’s not quite as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be. ] _

_ Finally, she released her grip, letting Charlie sink the rest of the way down to the ground. Sam walked to the door, before turning around one more time. _

_ “Oh, and by the way...I work for the newspaper, as you know. But what you might not realize is that, in such a position, I tend to hear about EVERYTHING that goes on on this campus. And if I hear even the slightest hint that you’ve done anything less than respectful to another girl...then I assure you that, not only will this entire school find out about what you’ve done, but I’ll see to it that, physically, you’re never able to have any children.” _

_ And without another word, Sam turned and left the room. _

_ [ If anything were to happen, I’d probably never hear about it, and I’m not even sure what ensuring his lack of progeny would entail, but I think that he’s probably sufficiently scared of me to not call my bluff. ] _

Sam was pulled from her memories by a knock at her door.

[ Great. I really wish that I hadn’t had to have that conversation, and I really don’t want to have this one either. ]

Sam sighed, and went to answer the door.

“Hey, Luke. Come on in.”

“So...you wanted to talk?” Luke already looked defensive.

“Yeah...Luke, I...I don’t even really know where to start. But you have to agree that things aren’t exactly going well between us at the moment.”

“I agree that you’ve been pulling away from me. No matter what I do, you keep pulling away!”

Sam bit her lip, looking sadly at Luke. “I know. I haven’t been a good girlfriend recently. And I’m sorry about that.”

Luke interrupted, “Let me guess...this is the part where you tell me that it’s not me, it’s you. And then you’ll try to ease me out of your life, while asking if we can still be friends.” Sam was slightly taken aback by the bitterness in Luke’s voice.

“Luke...I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Well you are breaking up with me, right? That’s why you called me down here for the first time in almost a month? Is this about Brooke? She finally managed to convince you that you should dump me?”

“Brooke? What are you talking about? Brooke has nothing to do with this. I decided on my own that I don’t think we should date anymore.”

[ Well, it is true that I decided on my own. But it’s not true that Brooke had nothing to do with it. ]

“Brooke has everything to do with this! You do know that she’s in love with you, right?”

[ Say WHAT now?? ]

“What did you just say?” The conversation had suddenly taken a very unexpected turn. Sam didn’t know what to think.

“She’s in love with you. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed anything before. But the way she looks at you...” Luke trailed off momentarily, not needing to finish the sentence. “So yeah, I’d say that Brooke has everything to do with this. Something happened with her recently, and you’ve barely left her side since then. She’s trying to steal you away.”

[ Brooke’s in love with me? That can’t be right. She’s never acted like she’s in love with me. Has she? ]

Sam was only half paying attention to Luke at this point. Her mind had started running with the possibility that she had misread Brooke’s feelings towards her. Sam already knew that Brooke loved her...but for Brooke to be IN love with her? That was a completely different story.

“Sam! Will you at least look at me, as you end our relationship which lasted for over a year?!”

Sam looked sharply over to Luke, once again focusing on him.

“We dated for over a year. Wow. Somehow I had forgotten that it’s been that long.” She paused, as a feeling of regret came over her. “I’m a horrible person. I’m so sorry, Luke. I’ve handled this so badly. I’ve known for quite a while, now, that we weren’t right for each other. But I didn’t end it. I couldn’t. Because I was a coward. But I have to end it now. And don’t blame Brooke about this. The thing that’s made Brooke and I closer recently...it’s not something that either of us wanted to happen. And if what you say about her is true...”

A small smile spread briefly across Sam’s face. Luke noticed it, though.

“If it’s true...that still had nothing to do with my choosing to break up with you. I just...I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I see us better as friends than as a couple. I’m really sorry, Luke. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Luke looked at Sam sadly. “Well, if I’m honest, then I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming. But I have to tell you... if I can’t date you, then I can’t be friends with you, Sam. Not now. I’m sorry, but don’t ask that of me. I don’t know how Brooke does it. I don’t know how she stays just friends with someone she’s in love with. Brooke can do it, apparently, but I can’t.”

Sam’s heart ached at Luke’s unsaid statement. They had never exchanged the Big Three Words. But Luke was essentially admitting to them now.

“Oh, Luke...”

“Don’t. Please don’t pity me.”

The two stood staring at each other, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, I guess I should go, then. I’d ask if you thought you might change your mind, but I have a feeling that you won’t. Good luck, Sam. Goodbye.”

Sam wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Wishing her luck seemed like an odd way to end things.

“Goodbye, Luke.”

He walked out of the room, leaving Sam to stare silently at the closed door.

[ Wow. That really sucked. ]

Breaking up with Luke was definitely the right decision. Sam knew that. But knowing it didn’t make it any easier. Because she did really like Luke. She just didn’t like him enough. And she liked someone else more. She thought about what Luke had said about Brooke. The big question was...did he know what he was talking about?

[ This definitely requires some further investigation. ]


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Brooke was supposed to be studying. She had an exam coming up, and she should really be studying. She was sitting in the library and had everything she needed -- her textbook, her notes from class, the journal articles the professor had assigned for reading. But the one key thing that she lacked was concentration. Because she was sitting across the table from Sam. And Sam was a major complication in the whole studying process.

It wasn’t Sam’s mere presence, per se, that was the problem. The problem could be more directly defined as Sam’s oral fixation. Brooke watched as Sam tapped her pen on the table, while running her tongue over her lips. She then took the pen and placed it between her teeth, using her tongue to idly move the pen up and down. When Sam took the pen out of her mouth again, to underline something in the article she was reading, she took her bottom lip into her mouth and thoughtfully sucked on it.

Brooke was mesmerized.

[ We’ve been here for over half an hour, and Sam’s tongue has barely stopped moving the whole time. And it seems like she doesn’t even realize it! How can I be the only one to notice the amazing things that Sam keeps doing with that tongue? Of course, I can think of a few other amazing things that Sam could be doing... ]

“Earth to McQueen! You there?”

The insistent voice finally broke through Brooke’s daze. Sam was now staring at her, an amused expression on her face, with the pen hanging loosely from between her lips.

Brooke turned quickly to her left, where Alexis had apparently been trying to gain her attention. She blushed, noticing that Jason and Katie were looking at her curiously as well.

[ Shit. Just how long has Alexis been trying to get my attention? ]

“Um, yeah. Sorry. What?” Brooke was flustered, but tried not to show it. She kept her eyes focused on Alex, even as she could see Sam smirking out of the corner of her eye.

Alex laughed lightly. “Nice of you to join us, Brooke. You have a nice time over in daydream land? Anyway, I was asking if I could see your book. I forgot to bring mine.”

“Yeah, sure. Here.” Brooke handed over the book, before turning back to look at the notes that she was supposed to be going over. She saw that Sam and Jason had returned to their work as well. Katie, however, was still looking at her, with a concerned expression on her face. Brooke sighed, gave her a small smile, and tried once again to focus on the work in front of her.

[ I will not look at Sam. I will study for my test. I will not look at Sam. I will study for my test. ]

~~~

“You can’t keep going like this.”

Brooke sighed. She and Katie had been hanging out in her room for a little while, but Brooke had known that Katie wanted to say something. Brooke had been able to avoid this conversation for a day since the study session in the library, but she apparently wasn’t going to manage it any longer.

“What do you mean? Everything’s fine.”

Katie looked at her seriously. “You need to tell her, Brooke.”

[ That’s a very vague statement, but I guess there’s really no point in pretending as if I don’t know what she’s talking about. ]

Brooke laughed. “Tell her? Yeah, right. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well why not? The way things are going, you’re not giving either of you a chance. First of all, you’re not giving Sam a chance to respond. When you first told me about your feelings for Sam, I’ll admit that I never thought anything would come of it. But for the last two weeks or so -- since a little before she broke up with Luke, actually -- she’s been looking at you differently. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s different. Now, I’m not so sure that your chances are as low as you seem to think they are.”

Brooke turned to Katie with a pained expression on her face. “Don’t say that. Please. Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Well what’s the worst that can happen? She says that she’s not interested, right? Well at least then you’d know! Wouldn’t that be better than what you’re going through right now?”

“No, I can’t tell her. Because if I don’t give her a chance to reject me, then there’s always the slightest possibility that something will happen. If I tell her...then I lose all hope, even if it is an irrational hope.”

“But Brooke, you can’t possibly just sit around waiting for her to come to you! If she turns you down, at least you can then move on,” Katie added. “Right now, you’re not giving yourself a chance to get over her.”

Brooke shifted uneasily in her chair, looking from Katie’s sympathetic face to the framed photograph that she kept on her desk. It was one of her and Sam, from senior year of high school. The two of them were sitting on the couch at the Palace, facing each other, talking animatedly and laughing about something that Brooke could no longer remember. Jane had seen them and taken the picture before either of them noticed her. It was one of Brooke’s favorite pictures. It wasn’t posed or forced. It was real. The joy in each of their eyes was real.

“But...but I don’t know if I want to get over her. I mean, a lot of the time it really sucks, feeling this way. But I don’t think that I want to get over her. I know it doesn’t make sense. I just can’t see myself not loving Sam.”

Brooke was feeling more and more agitated. She knew that Katie only meant well, but Brooke just wanted her friend to let her deal with this in her own way. Which really meant not dealing with it at all. But Brooke was okay with that.

[ Not dealing with it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Right? ]

Katie broke the momentary silence. “Okay. So let’s take a step back. Say, you don’t tell her that you’re in love with her. That could be unnecessarily intense. I’ll give you that. But you could at least tell her that you’re bi. And then, if there’s any possibility that she feels the same way, she’ll be more likely to say something!”

Brooke ran a tense hand through her hair. “No. No, I can’t tell her that, either.”

“Why not?!” Katie was getting visibly frustrated with Brooke. “Sam totally wouldn’t care. You know that she wouldn’t. So what’s the big deal? She’s supposedly your best friend, Brooke. If you can’t tell her this, a major part of who you are, then that’s a serious problem.”

Brooke looked anxiously towards Katie. She knew that she wasn’t making it easy for Katie to understand.

[ But how can I make her understand? She’s missing a major piece of the story, but I don’t know if I can deal with telling her. ]

“Look. I know that I’m not making much sense. And I know that Sam’s not homophobic. That’s not the issue. But...there’s something else. Something that makes it so that I can’t tell her.”

“Well what is it, Brooke? Please trust me. You can tell me, whatever it is,” Katie urged her.

“Okay. But you have to promise that, no matter what, you won’t tell Sam that I told you this. She’d kill me, if she found out.”

There was a pause, as Katie nodded her agreement, obviously curious as to what Brooke had to say.

[ Sorry, Sam. I know that I said I wouldn’t tell anyone. But here goes... ]

“So, this is probably going to sound like a reason that I SHOULD tell her, but it’s more complicated than that.”

Brooke could already feel herself blushing, in anticipation of what she was about to say. She stood up from her chair, took a deep breath, and started slowly pacing back and forth.

“Something happened, once. Between the two of us. Sam and I were both really drunk. And...well, I honestly don’t remember a lot of what happened, but, to get right to the point, we hooked up.” Brooke exhaled audibly, somewhat relieved to have finally told someone. “Wow, I haven’t talked about this in a long time. And I’ve never talked about it with anyone other than Sam.”

Brooke looked to the wide-eyed, stunned face in front of her. She started to chew nervously on her bottom lip, waiting for some kind of reaction.

Finally, Katie blinked. “Holy shit. You guys hooked up? Like, seriously hooked up?”

“Yeah, it went pretty far.”

Whatever Katie had been expecting Brooke's admission to be, this obviously wasn’t it. She was silent for another few moments, and then her expression changed from shock to confusion. “Wait, I don’t get it. Why does this mean that you can’t tell Sam that you’re gay?” she asked.

Before Brooke had time to figure out how to answer that question, a look of understanding crossed over Katie’s face. “Oh my god. Freshman year. That’s why you two were so weird second semester.”

“Yeah. It was after Charlie’s birthday party, actually, if you remember that night. And that’s why I can’t tell her. After it happened...everything basically sucked. Sam wouldn’t talk to me. Or when she did talk to me, it was only to get into a fight with me. Katie, you saw what it was like... She hated me. She could barely stand the sight of me. And I was miserable. I can’t go through that again.”

“But Brooke, she was probably just freaked out. You didn’t think you were bi at that point, either, did you? So who knows how Sam feels about it now.”

“You’re right. It’s certainly possible that it really wouldn’t be a big deal anymore. But it’s also possible that it would. And I can’t risk that. Even if it means that I have to keep pining away for her...Sam’s friendship means too much to me. I won’t risk losing her again.”

Brooke slumped back into her chair, placing her head dejectedly in her hands.

“Plus,” she continued, “Sam was SO adamant about no one finding out. The thought of anyone knowing what had happened between us...Sam was obviously not okay with that thought. And if I tell her I’m bi, then that changes the story of what happened. It goes from a random, drunken event -- a ‘really bad idea,’ is what I believe she called it -- to seeming like my clumsy attempt at seduction. Which isn’t what it was, but that’s what it’ll seem like. And then Sam will just feel really awkward around me, and I’ll feel awkward around her, and I’ll still be in love with her, but I won’t even have her friendship to rely on. That’s not what I want. But living with just her friendship? That, I can handle.”

[ Having Sam as a friend will always be better than not having her at all. ]


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Sam was on a mission. She had been observing Brooke a lot recently, and one thing that she kept noticing was how infrequently Brooke smiled lately. Sure, she gave plenty of little smiles. But none of those real ones, the kind that showed in her eyes. So, Sam had set out a task for herself.

Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. She really wasn’t quite sure how she should act around Brooke, in general. After the whole Charlie mess, the girls had unquestionably grown closer. Sam’s emotions towards Brooke were stronger than ever.

[ But now I’ve had to admit to myself the real reason behind those emotions. Namely, I like Brooke. A lot. And in a not-so-sisterly kind of way. ]

 _They had tried sleeping apart again. Brooke said that it had been a while, she no longer really thought about Charlie too often, and she felt like she was asking too much of Sam, though Sam tried to convince her otherwise. Still, if Brooke had moved on and wanted to sleep separately, then that was progress, right? Sam decided not to push it, even though she wasn’t a big fan of this kind of “progress.”_

 _So Sam lay in bed, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars that had been stuck on the ceiling of her room, left behind as a souvenir from a previous resident. She felt like she should be tired, but sleep was proving to be elusive._

 _She hugged one of her pillows to her chest, but it just wasn’t the same. Her body wasn’t fooled by her attempt to recreate Brooke’s form._

 _It was Sam’s third night in a row without Brooke. And it looked like it would be Sam’s third night in a row of less-than-ideal sleep._

 _Sam’s gaze was drawn to the bottom of her door, as a shadow appeared, blocking the light from the hallway. The shadow remained motionless for a few moments, before disappearing again, as Sam heard soft footsteps pad away from her room. She sighed in frustration and closed her eyes. She knew that it was Brooke. That Brooke had thought about coming in, but decided against it._

 _Sam was startled, then, when her room was suddenly flooded with light. She hadn’t heard Brooke return, but there she was, standing awkwardly by the door, which she had quickly closed again behind her._

 _Sam couldn’t help but smile widely, even though she guessed that Brooke couldn’t see it._

 _“I...I couldn’t sleep.” Brooke’s voice was just above a whisper._

 _“Neither could I,” Sam replied softly. “Come join me?” And she lifted up the edge of her comforter, making room for Brooke._

 _Brooke quietly slid between the sheets, instantly wrapping her arms around the brunette._

 _“You’re welcome here any time, Brooke. I mean it.”_

 _Brooke nodded into Sam’s neck, releasing a contented sigh._

 _Now that she had Brooke back between her arms, it didn’t take long for Sam to slip into sleep._

So that was the end of their brief attempt to keep to their own rooms at night.

Lying in bed with Brooke, Sam had been forced to confront how much she enjoyed the new, physical aspect to their relationship. How natural it felt to wake up entangled in Brooke’s arms. How much she wanted to kiss Brooke.

It wasn’t just physical, though. Sure, there was physical attraction. But honestly, Sam was a little scared by how deeply she felt for Brooke. The realization had come so quickly, she hadn’t had too much time to get used to the idea. Like the flip of a switch -- one day, Sam was happy being friends; the next day, she wanted more. Sam had no idea what, exactly, had caused this new awareness. But now, there was no looking back. And so many things made more sense -- Junior Prom, her initial dislike of Charlie, her relationship with Luke, all the pointless fighting.

[ I am SO gay. How did I not realize this before?? ]

Once those underlying emotions were admitted, however, Sam didn’t know what to do about it. And Luke’s assertion that Brooke looked at her in a similarly un-sisterly way only made things more complicated.

Having unrequited feelings for Brooke? Sam could totally see that happening.

[ Because seriously, what are the odds that Brooke McQueen -- head cheerleader, Prom Queen, all-around golden girl -- would have romantic feelings for me? Not too high, I’d imagine. ]

But maybe Brooke did feel the same way. Then Sam should do something about it, right?

[ Yeah, and probably just end up looking like an ass. ]

Still, maybe Operation: Figure Out How Brooke Feels and Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile could be combined. If Brooke really was in love with Sam, then maybe a little flirting would elicit a smile. And even better would be if Sam could avoid looking like an ass in the process.

~~~

“Hey, so are you still up for this afternoon?”

Brooke looked at Sam in confusion. They were both lounging around on a Sunday morning, attempting to get some work done. After waking up in Sam’s bed, Brooke hadn’t yet ventured back to her own room.

“This afternoon? What’s going on this afternoon?”

Sam explained, “Well you said you wanted to try out that new restaurant on 

Bleecker Street, right? I think it’s more of a lunch kind of place than dinner.”

“Oh, right! I completely forgot about that!”

“What would you ever do without me?” Sam teased.

Brooke smiled -- but still, more like a half-smile -- and replied, “Well, I’d continue eating nothing but bad dining hall food, obviously.”

“Then I’m glad that I’m around to remind you every once in a while that there are millions of restaurants in this city.”

“Indeed. Shit, but I have to go get ready! It’s getting late, already. And I don’t know what I’m going to wear, and I need to do my make-up, and...”

Sam grinned, as she saw the opportunity she’d been waiting for.

“No worries...You don’t need to put anything on for my sake.” She raised one suggestive eyebrow, as she glanced toward Brooke.

Brooke turned sharply to look at Sam with a look of wide-eyed panic. “What?!”

Sam tried her best to maintain an innocent tone as she continued, “Make-up. You don’t need to put on any make-up.” Sam winked playfully. “You always look absolutely gorgeous, even without it.” She finished with a sincere smile.

Brooke just continued to stare at Sam, a blush creeping over her face.

“Oh. Right. Um. Thanks. I’m going to put some on anyway. Make-up. And clothes. ‘Kay, gotta go.” And with that, she bolted out of the room.

[ Ooookaaaaayyy...maybe flirting isn’t such a good plan. Or maybe I just suck at flirting. Either way, I seem to have only managed to freak Brooke out, as opposed to making her smile and confess her undying love for me. So now what? ]

A few days later, Sam saw her next opportunity. As Brooke typed away on her computer, writing an essay, Sam noticed that she was often trying to stretch out the muscles in her shoulders.

Quietly, Sam came up behind Brooke and placed her hands on Brooke’s shoulders, lightly squeezing.

“Hey, you alright?”

Brooke jumped at the unexpected contact, but quickly relaxed, leaning back into Sam’s touch. “Yeah. I’ve just been spending way too much time hunched over this damn computer. My back hurts a little bit, is all.”

“Well I’ve been thinking that it’s about time for a break, anyway. Why don’t you let me give you a massage? Maybe it would help.”

Brooke hesitated, but agreed after a few moments’ thought.

“Great! Here, go lie down on your bed. It’ll work better that way.” Sam smiled, but was starting to get nervous at the prospect of touching Brooke.

Once Brooke was settled, Sam went over to the bed as well. She wasn’t quite sure where to place herself. She started off kneeling on the bed, to the side of Brooke. She hesitantly brought her hands down to Brooke’s upper back, rubbing her shoulder blades.

[ This is nice. The positioning is kind of awkward though. ]

“Brooke?”

“Umhmm?”

“Uh. Is it okay if I...well, if I, um...I don’t know if there’s a better way to put this...if I straddle you? I think it’ll be more comfortable.”

Brooke sounded nervous as she replied, “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Sam carefully placed her knees on either side of Brooke’s hips, gently lowering herself onto Brooke’s lower back. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, Sam. You’re fine.”

With that settled, Sam returned to the task at hand. She didn’t really know what she was doing. She let her hands wander across Brooke’s upper back, applying only light pressure at first, before pushing down a bit harder. She heard Brooke sigh in satisfaction after she would work on a particularly tight knot.

The room was near-silent, as Sam’s hands worked out the kinks in Brooke’s back and shoulders. Brooke’s soft sighs and quiet murmurs let Sam know that she was doing something right, and she started to get more confident, leaning harder into Brooke, really exploring the skin beneath her fingers.

The atmosphere was comfortable, but intimate. Sam marveled at the sensation of Brooke’s release of tension. She could literally feel Brooke relax underneath her.

Eventually, though, Sam became aware of the fact that all she could hear was the sound of Brooke’s steady breathing, and it had been like that for a little while.

“Brooke?” Sam whispered.

No response.

“Brooke, are you awake?”

Sam twisted around so that she could see Brooke’s face. The blonde was asleep. Sam smiled at Brooke’s contented expression.

[ Angelic. Perfectly angelic. ]

She slowly got up off of Brooke, grabbed the small blanket from the base of Brooke’s bed, covered her sleeping step-sister, kissed her lightly on the temple, and quietly left the room.

~~~

“Sam, are you actually going to do anything productive, or do you plan on just taking up space?” Brooke laughed lightly, as she eyed the brunette.

Sam, Brooke, and Jason were hanging out in Brooke’s room. Jason and Brooke had some assignment that they were going over together. Sam didn’t really know what they were doing, exactly. Sam had been working, too, but she had given up on that a little while ago.

Now, she lay sprawled across Brooke’s bed, focused intently on the rubik’s cube in her hands. Brooke had to reach over her to get a notebook sitting by Sam’s left leg.

“Well, Brooke, that depends on your definition of ‘productive,’” Sam replied absentmindedly. “Personally, I think that I’m being very productive at the moment.”

Jason laughed. “Sam, hun. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really think that lazing around and attempting to figure out a rubik’s cube counts as being productive.”

“Well, sure, you WOULD say that,” Sam scoffed. Her attention remained primarily fixed on the cube, though, even as she carried on the conversation. “Since you’re actually doing school work, you get to look down on me and my rubik’s cube. But we won’t worry about you and your restrictive ideas concerning productivity. So, I’ve had a pretty difficult week so far. Exam on Tuesday, paper due yesterday, another exam yesterday. Now, I just have a measly fifteen-page chapter to read for tomorrow. Really, that shouldn’t be too difficult, but since it’s been a rough week, my mind doesn’t really give a shit about that chapter right now. So, I’m taking a break, to give myself some relaxation time. But, during my relaxation time, I decided to tackle the rubik’s cube, because it is an activity that keeps my mind active and engaged, so I’ll be primed and ready to go by the time I work my way back to that chapter that I have to read. So like I said...I happen to think that I’m being VERY productive at the moment!”

Brooke just smiled and shook her head amusedly. Jason, however, looked at Sam in impressed surprise.

“So you had that whole plan worked out when you first came in here?”

“Hell, no. I came in here planning on reading that stupid chapter. But I’m lazy and don’t feel like working, and I found the rubik’s cube under Brooke’s bed five minutes ago. I made up my little productivity explanation about thirty seconds ago.”

Fifteen minutes later, Sam was no closer to solving the rubik’s cube. She was realizing that her relaxation time wasn’t too relaxing.

Frustrated, she idly tossed the rubik’s cube across the room. It landed neatly in Brooke’s trash can.

Her annoyance at the cube turned into excitement.

“She shoots, she scores!” Sam called out animatedly, raising her arms in triumph. “Screw journalism...I’ve discovered my true calling in life: professional basketball player!”

Jason started giggling. “So what happened to the idea of a mentally engaging relaxation time?” he asked.

“Eh.” Sam shrugged. “I’ve decided that thinking is overrated.”

Sam turned and looked towards Brooke.

And there it was. A full-fledged, teeth-revealing, eye-crinkling smile.

Sam found herself holding her breath for a moment. Brooke’s beauty was enough to literally take her breath away.

[ So, flirting didn’t work. An intimate massage didn’t work. But acting like a goofball works? That’s cool. ]

The two of them maintained eye contact, both grinning like idiots. Sam wasn’t sure how long they sat there, just staring at each other and smiling.

[ Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile? Complete success! ]


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Brooke was walking through the streets of Santa Monica. She wasn’t sure where she was going. She was just walking.

Suddenly, Sam was there walking beside her.

[ Where did she come from? ]

“Hi, Brooke!” Sam smiled cheerfully.

“Uh, hey Sammy.”

They walked together in companionable silence. Occasionally, Brooke stole small glances toward Sam, trying to figure out why she was there.

“Here, let’s go this way.” Sam turned abruptly, leading the way down a street that Brooke had somehow never noticed before.

Strangely, the road seemed to narrow, and more and more trees lined the sidewalks. Eventually, the pavement gave way to a dirt path. Brooke had no idea where they were going, but Sam just confidently walked forward.

With Sam walking ahead of her, Brooke couldn’t really see what was coming up ahead.

“Sam? Where are we going?”

Sam laughed lightly. “You’ll see,” was her cryptic answer.

Then, the path started to widen again, and it gradually opened up onto a field of wildflowers. The field ended at a cliff. Walking up to the edge, Brooke saw a river at the bottom, flowing out to the ocean. Another cliff rose from the opposite bank of the river. A lone tree was visible on the other side.

[ Where the hell are we? And how did I not know that this was here?? ]

Brooke turned to look at Sam, who was staring across the expanse between the two cliffs.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Sam asked. She then turned to gaze into Brooke’s eyes, bearing a wide smile. Brooke just nodded, not moving her eyes from Sam’s.

“Well, you ready to go?”

“Go? Go where?” Brooke frowned in confusion. She knew that Sam didn’t really make sense a lot of the time, but this was even stranger behavior than usual.

“To the other side, of course.” Sam rolled her eyes, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

But Brooke was now only more confused. “The other side?” She looked around. “But how do we get there? Is there a bridge somewhere?”

Sam smiled again, laughing. “We don’t need a bridge, silly.”

Brooke sighed in frustration. “Sam, you’re not making any sense. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well, there is a bridge, if you really want to go that way. It’s about fifty miles away from here, though. Personally, I’d rather go as the crow flies.”

With that, Sam gave Brooke one last dazzling smile before taking a running start and jumping from the edge of the cliff.

“Sam!” Brooke screamed, panicked. She was astonished to see Sam immediately turn into a bird, and fly easily across the ravine, landing on a branch high in the tree along the edge of the other cliff.

[ Whoa. I didn’t know that Sam could do that. ]

Brooke was somewhat surprised by how not-surprised she was that Sam had just turned into a bird. Somehow, it just didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Except for the fact that Sam was now on the other side, and Brooke wasn’t sure how she would be able to follow her.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Brooke shrieked again, this time in surprise. Sam had once again appeared standing beside her.

[ She’s really got to stop with the suddenly sneaking up on people! ]

Brooke looked at Sam, her eyes wide. Then she looked across at the tree again. Bird-Sam was still there.

“How...? You flew away.”

Sam scoffed. “Brooke, if you’re okay with the fact that I turned into a bird and flew away, are you really going to doubt that I can be in two different places at the same time?”

Brooke supposed that that made sense. Or at least, about as little sense as everything else that had been happening.

“Well, okay, I guess. But are you the real Sam? Because if you’re the real Sam, then I don’t have to worry about getting over to Bird-Sam.”

“No, Bird-Sam is Real-Sam. Sorry. I’m just here because you seem to require a little more pushing than Sam anticipated.”

“Pushing?? Are you going to push me off the cliff?!?” Brooke was starting to panic again.

“Preferably, no. But no guarantees.”

[ Oh god. I’m going to die. Sam’s gone insane. Or maybe I’ve gone insane. And Second-Sam is going to push me off the cliff. And I’m going to die. ]

Brooke warily took a few steps farther away from the edge. Second-Sam just stood calmly, gazing contemplatively at Brooke, who simply stared back at her, unsure of what to do next.

Then, Second-Sam turned to look back at Bird-Sam. “Oh, look. There’s Luke,” she commented offhandedly.

Brooke followed Second-Sam’s gaze. Sure enough, there was Luke, walking up to the tree. Brooke watched as Luke reached the base of the tree and seemed to start talking with Bird-Sam. He then jumped up, grabbed a lower branch, and began to climb up the tree.

“This is SO not fair! LUKE gets to be over there? But Sam dumped Luke! He shouldn’t be there! I should! I love her more than he ever did!”

Brooke sharply turned to look anxiously at Second-Sam.

[ Oh shit...I think I just admitted to Sam that I’m in love with her. ]

Second-Sam just sighed. “Don’t worry. Even though Real-Sam tells me what to do, she doesn’t know what’s going on over here, and I’m not allowed to tell her what you say. So your secret’s safe with me, Princess.” Second-Sam looked disappointed.

Brooke exhaled in relief. But then she remembered about Luke. She looked back to the tree. Luke was getting closer to Bird-Sam’s branch. Luckily, he seemed to be moving very slowly.

“So, you deserve to be there more than Luke? Well? What are you going to do about it?”

Brooke turned to look again at Second-Sam. Sam had that tell-tale look in her eyes...she was daring Brooke. Daring Brooke to get to Bird-Sam before Luke did.

[ She doesn’t think that I can do it, does she? Well screw what she thinks! ]

Brooke defiantly stared back at Second-Sam. She then turned to face the cliff, took a deep breath, and started to run. As she got to the edge, she looked straight towards Bird-Sam, and took a flying leap into the air.

She could hear Second-Sam cheering excitedly behind her. “Go, Brooke! Go!”

Unfortunately, she didn’t immediately turn into a bird. She could feel herself falling. It wasn’t too scary though. And somehow, the ground didn’t seem to be getting any closer, even as the edge of the cliff got farther and farther away.

Brooke began to hear a loud beeping noise. She couldn’t tell where it was coming from, though. She tried to twist around in the air, searching for the source of the noise.

Then, Bird-Sam was there beside her, flying downwards along with Brooke.

Bird-Sam opened her beak, and Brooke was surprised to hear English come out. Bird-Sam didn’t sound too happy. “What the hell are you doing, Brooke?? You’re supposed to be going up, not down! It’s really not that hard! Just follow me,” Bird-Sam commanded.

Bird-Sam quickly changed directions, flying back where she came from. Brooke was still slightly distracted by the beeping, but she screwed her eyes tightly shut, trying to will herself into a bird.

When she opened her eyes again, Brooke was shocked.

[ I did it! I’m a bird! ]

She chirped happily, and turned to follow Bird-Sam.

“I’m coming, Sam! I...”

Brooke woke up to see Sam leaning across her to hit the snooze button on the beeping alarm clock. Sam settled back against Brooke’s side, mumbling a sleepy “Good morning,” when she saw that Brooke was awake.

[ Wow. Such a weird dream! ]


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Sam was watching Brooke. Again. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t know how it was possible that everyone in the room wasn’t watching Brooke. Brooke was just so...watch-able.

Specifically, Sam was watching Brooke dance. It was only the third time since the thing with Charlie that Brooke had been convinced to go out to a club. But it seemed like it was the first time that Brooke was actually allowing herself to relax and have some fun.

[ And a relaxed, dancing Brooke is very much a sexy Brooke. ]

Sam knew that Brooke probably hadn’t had much, if any, alcohol -- if Brooke found herself in any more unwanted situations, she didn’t want her senses or her reactions or her judgment to be dulled -- but unlike Sam, Brooke didn’t need any liquid confidence to get her onto the dance floor.

A few guys had come up to Brooke, trying to dance with her, but she easily brushed them off. Alexis and Katie were there too, the three of them dancing in a group, along with Jason and his boyfriend Seth. Sam had been with them, but had recently escaped for a bit, as the urge to reach out and kiss Brooke grew to be too overwhelming.

Their relationship had been feeling even more complicated lately, if that were possible. Sam had attempted a few more bits of subtle flirting, and she had been shocked when Brooke started to actually flirt back. Somehow, Sam had never really expected that Brooke might actually flirt back.

Sam now understood why Brooke had freaked out the first time Sam said anything suggestive. Because now that Brooke was flirting too, Sam was finding it to be absolutely terrifying.

It wasn’t anything major. Sam still felt like she sucked at flirting. But Brooke, on the other hand... Brooke was VERY good at flirting. A light touch here, a dazzling smile there. Maybe a small flirtatious comment. That was all it took to make Sam’s insides feel like mush. She usually managed to keep it cool on the outside, but she really felt like a nervous wreck.

So now she simply stood at the edge of the room, away from the crowd, allowing herself to watch Brooke’s every move. She idly noticed Katie walk away from the group, but she didn’t really pay her much attention.

Because her eyes remained on Brooke, Sam didn’t see that Katie was headed in her direction.

“Oh my god...now you’re doing it too?!”

Sam turned in surprise, finding that Katie was right beside her, staring at her in shock.

“Who, me?” Sam questioned. “Doing what too?”

“Holy shit, this is SO Spring Break déjà vu! The two of you just switched places.”

Sam just looked at Katie in confusion, as Katie stared back with a big grin on her face.

[ What the hell is Katie talking about? She’s not making any sense. I don’t even know what I could possibly say in response to that. ]

Katie continued, “Okay, I’m too not-sober to deal with you and deal with all this craziness right now. But you need to talk to Brooke. Like, seriously. Promise me that you’ll talk to Brooke!”

“Huh? Talk to Brooke about what?”

Katie rolled her eyes. “If you don’t know, then maybe you’re not as smart as I thought you were. Figure it out.”

And with that, Katie turned and walked away, still smiling and chuckling to herself.

[ Okay, what was that all about?? Did she catch me watching Brooke? Is that what that was? If so, why was she so happy about it? What does she know that I don’t? Did she mean that I’m supposed to tell Brooke how I feel? Does Katie know how I feel about Brooke? Does she know how Brooke feels about me? I’m so confused. ]

Sam turned to look back towards Brooke. The blonde was still dancing, but was now staring right back at Sam. Brooke smiled, before biting down on her lower lip and raising one finger to beckon Sam.

[ Damn, that may just be the sexiest thing, like, ever. ]

It was a classic “come hither” gesture, and Sam really had no choice but to obey.

She walked toward Brooke, neither one breaking eye contact. The closer Sam got, the faster it felt like her heart was beating.

Out of the corner of her eye, she vaguely noticed Katie again, this time grabbing Alex’s and Jason’s hands, and unceremoniously pulling them off the dance floor, with Seth following along. “I’m, um, tired. Yeah. So come keep me company. Let’s go...away...over there, somewhere,” Katie mumbled hurriedly.

Sam finally stood in front of Brooke, who had turned to curiously watch the exit of their friends, before turning to look back at Sam.

Brooke smirked, but Sam could see a definite nervousness in Brooke’s eyes as well. It made her feel better, somehow, knowing that Brooke wasn’t quite as calm as she appeared on the surface. That maybe Sam wasn’t the only one who was a nervous wreck.

“Well, looks like it’s just you and me, Sammy. Wanna dance?”

Sam exhaled audibly, practically breathing out the one-word response, “Yes,” as she stepped forward into Brooke’s personal space.

It occurred to her that Brooke might have simply meant dancing in the same vicinity, not dancing TOGETHER, but Sam didn’t care. She reached out, gingerly placing her right hand on Brooke’s hip. She was relieved when Brooke draped her arms around Sam’s neck without any hesitation.

[ The last time we danced like this...I woke up the next day, naked and in Brooke’s bed. What craziness might tomorrow bring? ]

There was a definite charge in the atmosphere between them. Neither one felt any need to talk, but their eyes stayed focused on each other. The music was fast, but they quickly settled into a rhythm together.

Externally, Sam was doing her absolute best to keep from falling apart. Internally was quite a different matter, though. She was overjoyed. Overwhelmed. Terrified. Turned on. In shock. In love.

[ In love?? Yeah, I think that’s what this is. I think I’m in love with Brooke. Holy shit, I’m in love with Brooke. Or at least in the process of falling. ]

When a slower song came on, Sam reluctantly released her hold on Brooke, figuring that their dancing was over. Brooke didn’t let go, though. She only wrapped her arms tighter around Sam, keeping her close.

Sam looked at Brooke in happy surprise. Smiling softly, she returned her hands to Brooke’s body, wrapping her arms around Brooke’s waist. Sam could feel Brooke’s body melded perfectly against her own. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of Brooke. There were still tons of other people around them, but Sam only felt Brooke. Her head was swimming with the sensation of Brooke.

Suddenly, though, Brooke seemed to stiffen and took a step away from Sam. Sam tried not to look hurt.

[ Great. She’s finally come to her senses, and has realized that she doesn’t want to be here. I knew this seemed too good to be true. ]

Sam then heard someone behind her, clearing their throat. Sam looked over her shoulder, and saw a very guilty-looking Katie.

[ Wait, so Brooke probably only stepped away because she saw Katie coming. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to be dancing with me! Yes! ]

“I’m really really really sorry, guys,” Katie stammered. “I didn’t want to, you know, um, interrupt or anything. But...well, Alexis has had a bit too much to drink. She just puked in the bathroom. So yeah, we’re gonna take her home. You don’t have to come with us, though. You should totally feel free to stay here and....yeah...” The end of Katie’s sentence trailed off.

“Is she okay?” Brooke asked worriedly. “We should probably go with all of you. Seth shouldn’t have to deal with this, so Jason gets off the hook too, and you shouldn’t have to take care of her on your own. Is that okay, Sam?”

It took a moment for Sam to realize that Brooke was talking to her. She had been too busy trying to get her heart to slow down. “Huh? Oh yeah, that’s fine, let’s go. Where’s Alex? Poor thing, that really sucks.”

[ What also really sucks is that I’m no longer dancing with Brooke. ]

The three girls went to rejoin the rest of the group, and then the suitemates split from Seth and Jason, catching a cab back to their dorm.

“Sorry I made everyone leave. I didn’t mean to get this drunk. I don’t usually get this drunk. Just sorta happened.” Alexis was sitting between Sam and Brooke, with Katie in the front seat of the cab.

Sam chuckled. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s happened to the best of us,” she replied. “Plus, your speech is remarkably non-slurred, for someone who’s trashed. Impressive.”

“By the way,” Alex continued, looking back and forth between Sam and Brooke, “you two were really hot out there.”

“Alexis!” Katie turned around sharply, staring reproachfully at the girl.

“What? It’s true! I’m just stating a fact. You can’t tell me that they weren’t hot out there. Well, you CAN, technically...I just won’t believe you if you do.”

Sam laughed embarrassedly, hiding her face in her hands. She snuck a look over to Brooke, who was blushing profusely.

[ Fuck. They were all watching us? I didn’t even think about that. ]

The cab lapsed once again into silence, as Alexis snuggled contentedly against Brooke.

Back at the dorm, they all easily got Alexis to bed. Katie soon disappeared into her own room as well.

“And then there were two...” Sam commented idly. Now that they were in the glaring light of the hallway, Sam was nervous again. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and rocked back and forth from the balls of her feet to her heels. “You tired?”

“Yeah, kind of. Bed?”

When Sam nodded, Brooke grabbed one of Sam’s hands out of her pocket and pulled her down the hall, to her room. She stopped suddenly, and Sam almost crashed into her. Turning around, Brooke added, “I forgot. You need pajamas.” She released Sam’s hand and gently pushed her towards the opposite end of the suite. “And brush your teeth and whatever. Then come back.”

When Sam re-entered Brooke’s room, the light was off, and Brooke was already in bed, waiting for her.

Sam slipped between the sheets, lying on her side. Brooke was also on her side, facing Sam. Watching her. Sam draped her arm over Brooke’s waist. Her thumb quickly found a small patch of bare skin at the edge of Brooke’s shirt. She moved her thumb back and forth, slowly stroking the smooth skin. It took a minute for Sam’s eyes to adjust to the darkness, but then she could clearly see Brooke’s face. Brooke’s eyes were intently searching Sam’s.

[ I wonder what she’s looking for. ]

She was starting to grow uncomfortable under Brooke’s obvious scrutiny. She felt the need to break the growing silence.

“I...I had fun tonight,” she whispered, smiling shyly.

“Me too.”

And before she could stop herself, Sam leaned forward, bringing her lips to Brooke’s.

She kissed Brooke lightly, then pulled back in surprise. She hadn’t been planning on doing that. Brooke was looking at her, her eyes wide.

[ Well, she hasn’t slapped me, or run away screaming. That’s good. ]

Before she could lose her nerve, Sam closed her eyes and leaned back in. As their lips connected, Sam brought her hand up to Brooke’s face, cupping her cheek.

While Brooke wasn’t reacting badly, though, she wasn’t reacting...at all. She hadn’t moved a single muscle. Sam was about to pull back again, figuring that it was all a huge mistake, when suddenly, Brooke was kissing her back.

[ Brooke McQueen! Is kissing me! Willingly! Enthusiastically, even! ]

Sam reveled in the feel of Brooke’s lips against her own. She deepened the kiss, as Brooke’s hand came to rest on her hip, gripping tightly.

Kissing Brooke McQueen was truly an amazing thing. The yielding softness of Brooke’s lips was like...like...Sam’s brain was too far gone to come up with any coherent similes.

And when Brooke’s tongue pushed its way between Sam’s lips, Sam couldn’t help but moan out loud.

The sound seemed to break into Brooke’s haze, though, and she jerked backwards.

“I...I...You...” Brooke blinked rapidly, but was unable to come even close to forming a complete sentence.

Sam was mortified. She had gone from heaven to hell in the span of about ten seconds. She quickly sat up, moving to one end of the bed. Brooke mirrored her actions, moving opposite Sam.

“Oh god. Brooke, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have...I just had to. I’ve been holding back. But then tonight...I thought that you wanted it too. But I was obviously wrong. I’m really so sorry.”

Brooke’s panicked expression softened, as she reached out toward Sam again. Her hand wavered about an inch from Sam’s cheek, before being pulled back.

“No, Sam. That’s not it. You weren’t wrong. I did want this. I DO want it. I’ve wanted it...well, for a while now.” Brooke closed her eyes, visibly trying to pull herself together. “It’s just...you remember that crazy night a while ago?”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Which one? We’ve had a lot of crazy nights over the years. The night Mac was born? Junior prom? The thing with Charlie?”

“No, no. Not those. The other one. Freshman year.

“Oh. Right. That one.”

“Yeah. Back then...I didn’t know what I wanted. But the main thing that freaked me out wasn’t so much that you were a girl. I think a lot of it was just how quickly everything happened. But it was obvious what you didn’t want. For a while, you didn’t want anything to do with me. That hurt, Sam. A lot. I can’t go through that again. I don’t know what I’d do if I woke up tomorrow and looked into your eyes, and I saw that disgust again. So...I really want this. But I don’t know if I can.”

[ Okay. She doesn’t actually hate me. It’s going to work out. It has to work out. ]

Sam opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to work out what to say.

“Brooke, I...I understand. But I didn’t know what I wanted back then either. I’m not confused anymore, though. I know what I want.”

She paused, taking a deep breath. There could be no going back after this. “You, Brooke. You’re everything I could possibly want. I wouldn’t regret this in the morning. Even now, I don’t really regret kissing you. I just can’t regret something that felt so right. If you want this too...then don’t deny it. This can work. I have to believe that we can make this work.”

Brooke had shut her eyes tightly while Sam spoke. One tear escaped from between her eyelids and fell down her cheek. Sam ached, wanting to reach out and brush it away. But she held back, afraid to touch the blonde. Afraid that it would do more harm than good, at this point.

She took in a large breath before opening her eyes. Her voice, quivering, was barely above a whisper as she replied, “I don’t know, Sam. I just don’t know what to do. I want to believe you. But...I just don’t know.”

“Look, you don’t need to decide right now. Pressuring you into something is the last thing that I want. So let’s just go to sleep, and see what happens, okay? I should probably go. Do you want me to go?”

“No. I’m sorry if this is selfish of me, but...please stay. If you stay...if you don’t run from me...it’ll be the first step in convincing me that you really mean this.”

Sam looked directly into Brooke’s eyes, internally jumping for joy at this small offering of hope. “I’m not running.”

[ I have to make her trust me. I WILL make her trust me. ]


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** This chapter is rated R (and it's a rather graphic R) for, um, better reasons than last time ;)

Chapter 21

Brooke woke up in the usual position, curled into Sam, with nothing but the sound of Sam’s steady breathing. She rolled over onto her back, and Sam easily moved right along with her, draping herself around Brooke. When she remembered the previous night, Brooke immediately felt an odd combination of elation and panic.

[ Sam kissed me. Oh god. Sam kissed me! And I turned her down. Why did I turn her down?? She was so brave to put herself out there, and I turned her down. I mean, if she changes her mind now...well, if I hadn’t turned her down, then at least I would have gotten one night with her that I could actually remember. One night is better than none, right? God, I’m an idiot.]

Brooke felt Sam start to stir and stretch beside her. Sam’s arm, lying across Brooke’s waist, flexed, briefly squeezing Brooke tighter. Sam sighed, and her eyes fluttered open.

Brooke held her breath, waiting for Sam’s initial reaction. Sam just smiled at her sleepily, burrowing in a little tighter against Brooke’s body.

“I don’t want to get up. Do we have to get up?” Sam mumbled into Brooke’s neck.

Brooke exhaled. Sam wasn’t going to act weird about it. So Brooke wouldn’t have to either. She could relax.

Brooke smiled. “Yes, Sammy. Unfortunately, we do have to get up. You have a WSN meeting in...” Brooke paused to look at the clock. “...an hour and a half. Remember?”

“Bah. Who schedules meetings for Sunday mornings??”

“Um, I’m pretty sure that YOU scheduled it, Sam,” Brooke laughed.

“Then I’m an idiot. Remind me not to do that again. Stupid newspaper.”

All was still for a few minutes. Brooke wondered if Sam had fallen asleep again.

“Okay, okay, I’m getting up.” With great effort, Sam finally sat up in bed, stretching out her arms. Brooke couldn’t help but notice that this action made Sam’s shirt ride up her torso, exposing some of the smooth skin underneath.

“Well, good morning Princess.” Sam leaned over and kissed Brooke on the cheek, before hopping out of bed.

[ Sam is going to test my restraint, isn’t she? Because part of me just wants to forget all my worries, drag her back to bed, and smother her with kisses. ]

Still, there was one thing nagging at the back of Brooke’s mind.

“How’re you feeling today? Do you have a hangover at all?” she asked quietly.

Sam stood still with her back to Brooke, before slowly turning around and looking reassuringly into her eyes. “My head feels fine, Brooke. I don’t have a hangover.” She paused. “I wasn’t drunk last night, so there’s no reason that I would have a hangover. Yes, I had a bit to drink. But I wasn’t even close to being drunk.”

Brooke released the breath that she hadn’t quite realized she’d been holding. She smiled and nodded, breaking the slight tension. Brooke hadn’t really thought that Sam was drunk. But she needed to be sure that Sam knew what she was doing the previous night. That it hadn’t been alcohol that was driving Sam’s actions and words.

A few days later, Brooke returned from class and went to go find Sam. Sam’s room was unlocked, so she walked in without knocking, finding Sam pacing back and forth and talking quietly to herself.

“Brooke! You’re here!” Sam jumped at the sound of the door, turning to stare at her.

“Maybe you should lay off the caffeine a bit, Sam. You’re a little jumpy,” Brooke teased.

“Right. Actually, it’s good that you came by. Because I wanted to talk to you. I lost track of time, so didn’t realize you’d be back so soon. I was going to leave a message for you, for when you got back from class, asking you to come over. But now you’re back, and I didn’t leave you a message, but you’re here anyway, so that works, and...”

Brooke interrupted, “Okay, wow, you’re really rambling. Might I ask what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Oh. Um. Yeah. Well, actually, I was wondering...uh...if you....well, if you might like to go out sometime. This weekend. Or whenever.”

Brooke just stood there for a moment, blinking in surprise. “Go out? Like, on a date??” The question came out a little squeakier than Brooke would have liked.

“Yeah. On a date.” Sam chewed nervously on her lower lip.

“Wow. You’re asking me on a date... Wow.”

“Um, no offense...but is this really that surprising? I mean, I thought...I thought you understood that I’d like to be more than friends with you. And I dunno...it just seemed like going on a date was kind of the logical place to start.”

Now that Brooke had gotten over her initial surprise, she was finding Sam’s nervousness to be absolutely adorable. She smiled. “Yeah, sorry. I mean, I’d love to. Going out on a date with you sounds great.”

They decided to start casually, simply going out for a cup of coffee, before going to see a movie. It was fun, but Brooke had to admit that it didn’t exactly feel like a date. It was just hanging out with Sam, something that she’d been doing for years.

After the third date, though, Brooke and Sam kissed goodnight for the first time. It was then that it started to really feel like dating. Because kissing Sam was definitely NOT something that Brooke had been doing for years. Kissing Sam was something that she wouldn’t mind continuing to do for years, though.

At that point, they both agreed that it would be awkward to keep sleeping in the same bed on nights when they went out. They still shared a bed on most nights, and still slept better when they weren’t alone. But at the end of a date, it didn’t feel right to jump into bed together, even if all they’d be doing was sleeping.

It was somewhat difficult, dating each other while keeping it a secret from their other two suitemates, but somehow they made it work. It helped that Alex spent a lot of her time with Jason, and Katie had recently started dating someone as well. Brooke was pretty sure that his name was Ryan, but for some reason, Sam only ever referred to him as “cute English class guy.” Brooke had a feeling that they weren’t really fooling Katie, though, but she was nice enough not to bring it up before they were ready to.

~~~

“Stupid phone...stupid people calling way too fucking early...stupid everything.”

Brooke woke to the sound of her room phone ringing and of Sam mumbling to herself, before reaching across Brooke’s body to answer the phone.

“Hello, you have reached Brooke McQueen’s room. How may I direct your call?”

Brooke giggled. For someone who had just woken up and had been angrily swearing ten seconds previously, Sam managed to sound remarkably chipper.

Brooke watched as Sam frowned in reaction to whatever the person on the other end had said. Sam, who was still leaning over Brooke, since the phone was plugged in to the wall, looked down at the blonde and smirked playfully. Brooke just waited for whatever Sam would say next.

“What was that? I’m sorry...it’s a really bad connection...we’re driving through...through a tunnel right now. I can’t hear you! Okay, bye!”

And with that, Sam promptly hung up the phone and collapsed back next to Brooke.

Brooke laughed. “Sam, what the hell? Who was that?”

Sam just shrugged. “Not important. I’m sure she’ll call back.”

Sure enough, Brooke’s phone started ringing again. Brooke reached for it this time, but Sam quickly dove across Brooke again, grabbing the phone.

“Hey Satan...Whoa there, calm down, tiger...Whatever, here’s Brooke.”

Sam handed the phone to Brooke, who shot a playfully glaring look to the brunette, before turning her attention to the phone.

“Nicole? Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me! What the hell is wrong with your step-sister?? She’s such a freak of nature!”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry, Nic. Sam was just being annoying on purpose. Don’t let her get to you.”

[ Of course, I really think that it was pretty hilarious, but I’d never tell that to Nicole. ]

“Anyway,” Brooke continued, “What’s up? And what’s up with how early you’re calling?”

“Oh, stop complaining. You’re always up early. Wait a second... Have you been awake for very long?”

“Uh, no. Just woke up, actually.” This point was emphasized by a large yawn. “Why?”

“You just woke up?” Nicole sounded very suspicious of something, but Brooke wasn’t awake enough to figure it out. “Did Spam just wake up too?”

“Yeah. And...?”

[ What could Nicole possibly be trying to get at? ]

There was a long pause before Nicole continued. “Let’s recap, shall we? You’re in your room and you just woke up. Spam, who also just woke up, answered the phone when I called. So what the hell is Spam doing in your room right now?”

[ Oh. So that’s what Nicole’s trying to get at. Shit. ]

“Um...she just....we have, you know, sleepovers every once in a while.” Brooke tried her best to sound nonchalant, but this conversation had quickly turned very dangerous. She could practically hear the gears turning in Nicole’s head, and it made her very nervous.

“Oh. My. God,” Nicole enunciated, shock evident in her voice. “I can’t believe this. I must be wrong. You couldn’t be, could you??”

This was doing nothing to relieve Brooke’s anxiety.

Nic went on, “You’re...you’re sleeping with her, aren’t you?!”

Brooke shot up in bed, breaking out of Sam’s loose hold.  “WHAT?!? No! No, no, no.  I’m not.... That’s ridiculous! I can’t believe you’d think that!”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much, Brookie. You are TOTALLY sleeping with her!”

Nicole sounded positively gleeful at this turn of events. Brooke, however, felt sick.

[ This is SO not fair! It isn’t even true! I haven’t been sleeping with Sam! Not in the way that Nic means, at least. ]

Brooke knew that it sounded like she was lying. But she couldn’t help it. Nicole was close enough to the truth, so even though Brooke wasn’t actually lying, there was no way that she could sound convincing.

“Ooh! And freshman year, when you were acting all weird that time? It all makes sense, now! You were sleeping with her way back then, weren’t you? Ha! I TOLD you I’d figure it out, eventually! It just took me a little while longer than expected. Holy shit, Brooke! I can’t believe you’ve been fucking Spam for three years!”

“I haven’t! I really haven’t, Nicole. You’re taking this way out of proportion!” Brooke turned to glance at Sam, panic filling her face. Sam was looking back worriedly, obviously confused.

“But really, Brooke...of all the people you could have picked to have a hot sapphic fling with, you chose Spam?? ‘Cause the whole gay thing isn’t really an issue. Hell, it’s not even that unexpected. I mean, you were never quite as into Josh as you should have been, considering the fact that he was the ultimate crush of every hetero female at Kennedy. But Spam? I thought you had better taste than that, hun. Eww. Don’t you DARE start talking to me about how Spam tastes! I REALLY don’t want to know.”

Brooke just gaped into the phone. She had absolutely no clue how to respond to that.

“Um...is there...like, an actual reason why you called, Nic? You know, other than to mortify me completely?”

“Whatever. It’s SO not important, compared to a revelation of this magnitude. I can’t talk with you anymore right now. I need to go process this.”

Brooke sat staring straight ahead for several minutes, even after Nicole had hung up. Finally, Sam eased the phone out of Brooke’s grasp.

“Nicole is now convinced that we’ve been having sex,” she blurted out to Sam. “For three years.”

Sam stared at her in horror. “Oh...that’s...that’s....just fantastic.”

~~~

Brooke and Sam had been dating for about a month. Brooke still worried a lot about the relationship. What if it didn’t work out and they broke up? Would they be able to stay friends after that? What if Sam got tired of waiting around for her to become totally relaxed, and decided that she wasn’t worth it?

Brooke knew that it was pointless to worry about these kinds of things. That, by holding back, she was probably only hurting herself. But she couldn’t help it. Sometimes, it felt like Sam, not Brooke, had been the first one to come around to the whole “I’m gay and want to date my step-sister” realization. Sam certainly seemed more comfortable with it. But Brooke had managed to convince herself so completely that Sam would never look at her romantically, that, now that they had crossed that line, Brooke didn’t quite know how to deal with it.

Still, the “goodnight kiss” portion of their dates had been getting more and more extended. And Brooke didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to put on the brakes. In fact, her own reasoning for putting on the brakes was becoming increasingly unclear.

“Hey, you about ready to head out?” Sam asked, simultaneously knocking on and poking her head around Brooke’s door.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just grab my coat.”

After an early dinner, Sam was taking Brooke...somewhere. Brooke didn’t actually know where they were going, which was somewhat frustrating. But Sam was being stubborn, as usual, and wouldn’t tell her what she had planned.

“Explain to me again why you won’t tell me where we’re going?”

“Because...” Sam sighed. “If I told you, then you’d probably just think it sounded stupid and lame. I actually think that it could be a lot of fun, but if I tell you before we get there, then you’ll try to convince me that we should do something else.”

Brooke laughed. “Wow, what a glowing endorsement: ‘It sounds stupid and lame, but we should go there anyway.’”

“But the whole point is that, while it may SOUND stupid and lame, it actually isn’t. At least, I hope it won’t be. Come on, just trust me.”

Brooke grabbed hold of Sam’s hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the knuckles lightly. “Always. I’m sure it’ll be great, I’m just not dealing well with the curiosity.”

Brooke was surprised when Sam led them to what seemed like some kind of craft store.

[ She’s taking me shopping? For crafts? I think this wins the “strangest date ever” prize. ]

In response to Brooke’s questioning look, Sam replied, “It’s a paint-your-own pottery place. I heard from Jeff, one of the other editors, that he took his girlfriend here once, and she really liked it...so I thought maybe you’d like it too.”

Brooke just smiled. “Sounds cute. Let’s go.”

After picking out their pottery -- a vase for Sam and a coffee mug for Brooke -- they sat down to paint. Brooke didn’t really know what she was doing, but was remembering why she had always liked arts and crafts so much at summer camp. She was having fun releasing her inner-child. Surprisingly, Sam was getting really into it. She was picking out a bunch of different stencils, and trying out each color before she used it, making sure it was just right. Then again, maybe it wasn’t so surprising. Sam never seemed to do anything with less than 100% effort.

Brooke, on the other hand, was going with more of a trial-and-error approach -- if she didn’t like a color, she just painted over it with a darker color. Unfortunately, this approach had let to an interesting mix of colors, which didn’t really go too well together. Brooke had been a lot more anal about crafts when she was younger, but she was still enjoying herself now. Plus, being across the table from Sam afforded her a lovely view of her date, who was sitting with knitted brow, intense eyes, and her tongue sticking thoughtfully into her cheek.

[ This date has been a total success, partly just because it’s given me a chance to watch Sam when she’s all focused and adorable. ]

“Here, I made this for you.”

Brooke looked up from her mug. “You made it for me? Aw, but my mug looks like crap. I would have made it prettier if I knew we were going to be exchanging!”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Sam chuckled. “I wasn’t planning on exchanging at first, but then it just sort of evolved into this thing that reminded me of you. So anyway, let me explain it to you.” Sam held the vase out before her, pointing out the various elements. “This color at the base is the closest I could get to the color of your eyes. The purple at the top is the color of that shirt you got recently that looks really good on you. There’s an orange cat, because one of my earliest memories of you is when we were, I don’t know, about six, I guess. You were mad atHarrison, because he had stolen your favorite stuffed animal, a tiger. But then I came over to your house the next day, because I had gotten it back for you. I thinkHarrison told you that he willingly gave it to me, since I was his best friend, but that isn’t true, and when he wouldn’t give it up right away, I started hitting him until he let me have it.”

[ I remember that...little Sammy, to my rescue! ]

Sam went on, “This thing is supposed to be a raspberry, since that’s what your shampoo smells like. Then I put in a yellow submarine, because I’ve heard you singing that song numerous times in the shower at the Palace. And finally, this is a dolphin, because if you were an animal, I think you’d be a dolphin. They’re playful, intelligent, social, cute, and really brave when they need to be. Plus, both you and dolphins like to eat fish.”

Throughout Sam’s explanation, Brooke’s smile had been getting bigger and bigger. She couldn’t believe how much thought Sam had put into this. At the last sentence, Brooke let out a burst of laughter.

“I love it, Sam! ... I love you.” She only hesitated a moment before making the second pronouncement. It was possible that it was too soon to say it, but it was true, and she wanted Sam to know.

At Brooke’s words, Sam’s grin became just as big as Brooke’s. “Really? I love you too. And I’m not just saying that because you said it. I said it because I really mean it.”

Brooke glanced around briefly, before leaning across the table and kissing Sam firmly. They had never kissed in public before, but Brooke didn’t care at this point.

When she returned to her seat, they both simply sat there, grinning at each other, until Sam exclaimed, “Oh, Brooke...you got paint on your shirt!”

Brooke looked down at herself -- sure enough, there was a splotch of red paint near the bottom of her yellow top. It must have gotten there when she leaned across the table. Brooke just smirked mischievously. “Well, I don’t think that I should be the only one covered in paint.” And without giving Sam a chance to react, she dipped her finger in blue paint and swiped it down Sam’s nose.

Sam squealed and wrinkled up her nose, before getting some green paint on her own finger and wiping it across Brooke’s cheek. Within another minute, both girls were covered in at least five different colors and were giggling uncontrollably.

Traipsing to the bathroom to clean themselves up, they shared another few kisses -- and Sam made some goofy comment about “tasting the rainbow.” Once rid of all the paint, they then apologized profusely to the owners of the shop for making a bit of a mess (luckily, they managed to get most of the paint on each other, as opposed to everything around them), and returned to their suite. They held hands throughout the entire ride back, simply relishing each other’s presence.

Once they made it back to the dorm, Brooke was relieved to find the suite empty. She really didn’t want to socialize with anyone else right then. Walking briskly to Brooke’s room, they were almost immediately in each other’s arms. Brooke felt no nervousness as she eagerly brought her hands to either side of Sam’s face and pressed her lips against Sam’s. She had discovered that, while Sam’s oral fixation used to be torture, it was now very much appreciated.

She allowed her hands to wander up and down Sam’s body, touching everywhere she could reach. Sam’s hands were busy as well, burying themselves in Brooke’s back pockets and squeezing methodically.

[ Sam’s hands are on my ass. Oh, god. Sam’s hands are on my ass. ]

Brooke found that her thoughts were barely coherent, as she focused on the sensations running through her. She moaned lightly as Sam’s tongue reached out to run along Brooke’s lower lip. The moan caused Brooke’s lips to part slightly, and Sam took advantage of this by gently pushing her tongue into Brooke’s mouth. Brooke opened a bit wider, inviting Sam to explore. Her own tongue wrestled playfully with Sam’s, fighting for dominance.

After what felt like an hour, but was probably much shorter, Sam finally dragged her mouth away from Brooke’s. Neither one made any effort to move their arms, though, as they stared into each other’s eyes and attempted to regain their breath.

Sam spoke first, keeping her voice to a low whisper. “Is this...are you...is this okay? I mean, I don’t want to push this faster than you’re ready to.”

In response, Brooke merely lowered her mouth to Sam’s neck, fervently kissing and licking the soft flesh that she found there.

Sam groaned and leaned her head backwards, giving Brooke greater access. Sam seemed to very much enjoy the feeling of Brooke’s lips on her neck. Which was good, because Brooke was equally pleased with the current situation.

Brooke took in a sharp breath when Sam’s hand tentatively reached up to cup Brooke’s left breast. But she immediately clamped her mouth back down on the base of Sam’s neck, sucking lightly.

Meanwhile, the increasing shakiness in her legs was bringing Brooke’s hazy attention to the fact that they were still standing. She brought her lips back up to Sam’s, before gently starting to walk forwards, easing Sam back towards the bed in the process.

Sam grunted and fell backwards when the backs of her knees unexpectedly hit the edge of the bed. She maintained her hold on Brooke, though, and pulled the blonde down with her. Brooke remained perched over Sam, resting on her hands and knees, as she gazed into Sam’s eyes, searching for any lingering doubts. She found none.

“Is this really happening? I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Brooke murmured. “I’m not dreaming, am I?”

Sam reached up to stroke Brooke’s cheek. “It’s really happening. You don’t want to be dreaming, right?”

Brooke shuddered at the sexy huskiness in Sam’s voice. “God, no.”

Sam then placed her hands on Brooke’s hips and pulled her downward, so that she was lying completely on top of the brunette. Brooke settled easily between Sam’s legs, closing her eyes tightly at the pressure.

She nipped gently at Sam’s lips, softly biting down on her lower lip, before sucking it completely into her mouth. She teasingly ran her hands up and down the sides of Sam’s torso, just barely grazing her thumb across a bare patch of skin at Sam’s waist.

Apparently frustrated with Brooke’s light touches, Sam grabbed tightly onto Brooke and deftly switched their positions, with Sam now sitting atop Brooke’s hips. From her position, she reached down and grabbed the hem of Brooke’s shirt, pulling it upwards and tossing it somewhere behind her. Brooke sat up, bringing her hands to the buttons of Sam’s shirt, and somehow managed to undo them, before pushing it back off Sam’s shoulders. She then lay back down on the bed, as Sam stared at her in awe. Sam’s hands hovered above Brooke’s chest for a moment, before coming down firmly to rub at the soft globes. Brooke arched upward, pushing harder into Sam’s hands.

Sam then slid down Brooke’s body enough to bring her lips to the top of Brooke’s breast. She reached under Brooke to undo the clasp of her bra and then reverently removed the item of clothing. Brooke tangled her hands into Sam’s thick mane of hair, holding her in place. When Sam’s mouth enveloped a stiff nipple between her lips, Brooke couldn’t help but moan out loud. She whimpered softly when Sam removed her lips, only to sigh in pleasure when Sam switched to the opposite breast, giving it equal attention. Sam’s tongue alternated between flicking across and running circles around the hard nub, and Brooke could only mumble incoherently in response.

When Brooke looked down, she found Sam watching her. Sam released a feral grin, as she started to move farther down Brooke’s body. Brooke held her breath when Sam reached the scar that ran down her abdomen, from the surgery four years ago to stop her internal bleeding. It was largely healed, and almost couldn’t be seen at first glance, but Brooke couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it. Sam paused for only the briefest moment, before lightly running her finger along it, and kissing it tenderly.

Seeming to understand Brooke’s insecurity, Sam locked eyes with Brooke and whispered fervently, “You’re so beautiful, Brooke. Nothing could ever change that.”

Brooke smiled in relief, running her hand though Sam’s hair.

“Is this still okay?” Sam asked. “Do you want to keep going, or...?”

“If you don’t keep going, then I might just have to kill you.”

Sam chuckled softly, as her hands went to the button on Brooke’s pants. In one quick motion, she pushed at Brooke’s jeans and panties. Raising her hips, Brooke helped push them down her legs, before kicking them free of her body.

“You too,” she muttered. “I want to see you. All of you.”

Sam complied, ridding herself of the rest of her clothes. She settled back between Brooke’s legs, and Brooke briefly regretted not being able to see Sam more fully, before Sam tentatively brought her hand to the thatch of blonde curls at Brooke’s center.

As Sam’s fingers began to explore the wetness between her legs, Brooke roughly pulled Sam to her, hungrily devouring Sam’s lips.

Her hips jerked upwards as the tip of Sam’s finger made contact with her aching clit. “Oh, Sam. Don’t stop,” she gasped.

Brooke felt Sam entwine her free hand with one of her own, as Sam once again slid down Brooke’s body, leaving a wet trail of kisses along the way. She reached Brooke’s other main scar, the one that ran up her thigh, and lovingly kissed all along it as well. Brooke, who had been watching Sam, snapped her eyes shut at Sam’s first timid lick between her folds. “Oh god! Sam! Fuck...” Brooke’s utterings devolved into unintelligible sounds.

“Oh, Brooke. You feel so amazing.” Sam pulled back slightly, in order to speak, before returning fully to the task literally in front of her. Sam moaned, and Brooke could actually feel the reverberations throughout her core.

When Sam simultaneously thrust two fingers inside of Brooke and sucked Brooke’s clit into her mouth, Brooke exploded, feeling like she had shattered into a million pieces. Her hips shot up off the bed, as Sam clung to her, and then she fell back into a quivering, orgasmic, mess. Sam kept her fingers in place, eagerly licking up all the moisture, before she climbed back up Brooke’s shuddering body.

Brooke felt like she had just run a race. She welcomed Sam back between her arms, as she tried to get her breathing under control.

After being given sufficient time to recuperate, Brooke once again kissed Sam firmly. She smiled, completely satisfied, as she looked deeply into Sam’s eyes. The love and the lust that she saw there caused another flare of desire to shoot through her.

“Your turn now,” Brooke practically growled. She flipped Sam onto her back and kissed her way across Sam’s jaw, then down along the side of her neck. She paused to suck at Sam’s collarbone. She didn’t really know what to do, but the sounds coming from Sam’s mouth convinced her that she was more than just alright.

She bent her knee, placing pressure between Sam’s legs. Sam whimpered and started to grind against Brooke’s thigh. Brooke herself moaned at the feeling of wetness sliding along her leg.

She felt Sam’s nails digging into her back, but far from bothering her, it only spurred her to press harder against Sam.

“Fuck. Oh, Brooke. So close. Please...”

Wanting to taste Sam, Brooke nipped one last time at Sam’s neck, before heading southward. She stopped to lavish some attention on Sam’s breasts, but she could feel and hear Sam’s mounting need, so continued on toward her destination.

Brooke gripped Sam’s hips, as she leaned down, inhaling Sam’s scent. Unable to resist any longer, she plunged her tongue between Sam’s soft folds. Though she hadn’t been sure what to expect, she immediately knew that she loved Sam’s taste. She used the tip of her tongue to run a tight circle around Sam’s clit, and that was all it took to push Sam over the edge. Sam grew rigid beneath her, then shook violently as she called out Brooke’s name.

Brooke continued licking gently, until Sam pulled her back up. Brooke pushed some stray hair out of Sam’s eyes, and leaned down for a tender kiss. She softly caressed Sam’s body, happy to simply lie within Sam’s arms. She could barely believe it -- she had actually had sex with Sam. She and Sam had made love. And it was the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced.

“That was...just...amazing. I...I can’t even describe...just...amazing,” Sam stuttered.

Brooke smirked to herself.

[ For once, sex has left Sam without a million things to say. ]

“I love you, Brooke.” Sam gazed at her with tired, but happy, eyes.

“I love you too, Sam. So much.”

The girls shared a few more slow kisses, and then cuddled contentedly in each other’s arms. Brooke felt her eyelids flutter closed, as she was unable to hold back the exhaustion that suddenly overtook her.

[ It’s official: Best. Date. Ever. ]


	22. Chapter 22

PART 4 -- Senior Year  


Chapter 22

Sam felt herself being pulled from sleep. Her dream had been such a nice one, though, that she didn’t want to leave it. However, as her mind became more and more alert, Sam was beginning to suspect that her dream was continuing right into real life.

[ I might still be dreaming...but those lips and fingers against my skin feel remarkably real. ]

Sam kept her eyes closed, but smiled and sleepily ran her hand along the familiar form pressed against her body.

Now aware of Sam’s consciousness, Brooke grinned into the crook of Sam’s neck. “So, I finally managed to wake you up, huh Sammy?” she whispered.

Sam shivered at the silky textures of Brooke’s voice, before murmuring in response. Over the previous months, Sam had learned that Brooke was often a bit...feisty when she woke up. And as Brooke often woke up before Sam, it made for some very pleasant mornings.

Still not fully awake, Sam simply sighed contentedly as she felt Brooke shift above her, spreading Sam’s thighs and settling between them. Sam arched her head backwards, granting Brooke greater access to her neck. She purred in pleasure as Brooke nipped and licked at her pulse point, becoming more awake with every swipe of Brooke’s tongue.

Finally, needing to taste Brooke’s lips, Sam reached up to Brooke’s face, urging her upwards. Brooke started off gently, but was soon practically attacking Sam’s lips, with Sam pushing back just as urgently.

Sam was happy to realize that they were both still naked from the night before, as her hands swept across Brooke’s body, memorizing every inch all over again.

[ This is definitely the best way to wake up in the morning. ]

Brooke’s mouth was on the move again, making its way across Sam’s jaw-line, and then reaching around to Sam’s ear. Sam felt warm breath against her skin, before Brooke took Sam’s earlobe between her lips.

When Sam finally opened her eyes for the first time that morning, she found Brooke directly above her, staring straight into her. Sam’s eyes swept across Brooke’s face.

[ I did that. The love and desire in her eyes. Her swollen lips. Her flushed cheeks. I love the fact that she’s like that because of me. ]

Brooke’s hand reached down between their bodies, her fingers eagerly exploring the increasing wetness at the apex of Sam’s thighs. A single look could make Sam wet for Brooke, let alone all the passion in Brooke’s impatient touch.

Sam moaned as Brooke brought her lips back to Sam’s ear, whispering softly. “You feel so good, Sam. I love the fact that you’re like this for me.”

Since it happened fairly regularly, Sam was no longer surprised when she found that her own thoughts and Brooke’s seemed to match perfectly.

Two lithe fingers slipped effortlessly into Sam, whose hips pushed upwards at the welcome intrusion.

They quickly settled into a slow and steady rhythm, with Sam rocking against Brooke’s hand. Occasionally, Brooke’s thumb would run over Sam’s clit, causing Sam’s hips to jerk upwards. Sam held on tightly to Brooke, as her breathing rate escalated along with the pace of Brooke’s fingers. She repeatedly brought her lips to Brooke’s, barely managing to speak between kisses. “Oh Brooke...don’t stop...oh god...”

Brooke didn’t respond in words, but uttered a soft growl from deep in her throat as she lowered her head to lightly rake her teeth across the skin of Sam’s shoulder. Sam loved the feeling of losing herself in Brooke’s touch. Brooke always seemed to know just what to do.

After a moment, Sam tugged Brooke so they were face to face again. She sucked Brooke’s lower lip into her mouth and tangled one hand into Brooke’s soft hair. The other hand reached to Brooke’s tender breast, gently kneading the flesh beneath her fingers as a hard nipple pressed into her palm.

A loud and sudden knocking at Sam’s door broke into the haze surrounding the two girls. Brooke yelped quietly as Sam bit down on Brooke’s lip in surprise.

Sam’s immediate and panicked reaction was to try to get away from Brooke as quickly as possible. Her frantic attempt to extricate herself from the tangle of limbs in her bed didn’t go too smoothly, however, and she found herself literally falling out of bed. She reached out to try to grab onto something, anything, to halt her fall, but her grasp only managed to grab hold of the stuffed animal sitting on her nightstand.

 _ “So I’m a dolphin, huh?” _

_ Sam and Brooke were cuddled up together in bed, the morning after their date at the pottery shop, with Sam’s hand idly caressing Brooke’s bare back. Technically, it was already their second night together, but Sam had decided that the other time, so long ago, didn’t count. The previous night was real; that was what she would consider to be the first time that she and Brooke really made love. _

_ “Yep, you’re a dolphin. And what would I be, if I were an animal?” _

_ “Hmmmm. What would Sammy be?” Sam watched Brooke’s face concentrate in thought, as she traced a finger around the contours of Brooke’s features. _

_ “I know!” Brooke turned to face Sam triumphantly. “You’d be a horse!” _

_ Sam arched an eyebrow. “A horse?” _

_ “Sure. I mean, you’ve got plenty of hair for a long, thick ponytail...” Brooke’s hand reached to tangle itself in Sam’s hair. “...a big nose...” _

_ “Hey!” Sam commented indignantly. _

_ “Kidding! Your nose is perfect. I love your nose.” Sam felt her indignation wash away as Brooke tenderly kissed the tip of her nose. “But seriously. You’re wild, and beautiful, and stubborn, and strong, and independent...” _

_ “And I just needed the right person to come along and tame me,” Sam interrupted and completed the sentence for Brooke. _

_ Brooke smirked. “Well I don’t know that you could ever be truly tamed, Sam, but that’s one of the best things about you. _

_ “Okay, so I’m a horse.” Sam leaned over to lightly graze her lips against Brooke’s. “Just as long as you come along for the ride.” _

Sam heard Brooke groan in frustration, before giggling at the thump created by Sam’s ungraceful tumble out of bed.

“Ow!” Sam grumbled to herself and then called out to whoever was at her door, “Hold on just a minute!” She scrambled to her feet, placing the stuffed horse back in its place next to the oddly-colored coffee mug.

[ Okay, how to make it seem like Brooke isn’t here? ]

Sam turned to the bed and found that Brooke had huddled herself beneath Sam’s covers. Sam tucked a few stray hairs underneath as well, and then quickly piled clothes and pillows on the bed, so that the lump there looked significantly less Brooke-shaped.

Satisfied with the appearance of the room, Sam went to answer the door.

“Naked! You’re naked, Sam!” Brooke whispered urgently from the bed, apparently having peeked out at the last second.

[ Oh, right. Shit. Close call. ]

Sam grabbed a towel from off of the bed and wrapped it tightly around herself. Opening the door, she immediately launched into explanation. “Hey, sorry. I was just getting ready for a shower.”

Katie stood there, smirking amusedly. “Ah, nicely done. I was wondering how you were going to explain the five hours it took you to get to the door.”

Sam blushed, but resolutely tried to look as if she didn’t know what Katie was talking about. “Anyway,” Katie continued, “I came to warn you that Alexis called me. She’s finishing up at the gym, but needs to borrow something from Brooke later, and wanted to make sure that Brooke was here before she came back to the apartment. Strangely, though, Brooke wasn’t answering her cell phone, even though she’s always awake by now, and yours wasn’t on, so she couldn’t check with you. Soooo, you probably have about twenty-ish minutes until she gets here. Just thought that you, and whoever else might be able to hear me at the moment, would like to know about the situation.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile. “Uh, okay, yeah. Thanks, Katie. I’ll let Brooke know...if I happen to see her.”

“Yeah, you do that. Well, my work here is done.” Katie then stretched to look over Sam’s shoulder, which was currently blocking the doorway. “Hi, Brooke,” she called into the room.

“Hi, Katie,” was the muffled reply from beneath Sam’s covers.

Katie burst into giggles, as Sam good-humoredly pushed her back down the hall, before closing the door and sliding back into bed.

“You heard, I take it?” Sam asked Brooke, who had resurfaced from her hiding place.

“Yep, I heard. We should really tell everyone at some point, shouldn’t we?”

Sam sighed, snuggling back into Brooke’s body. “Yeah, we probably should. But I kind of enjoy just having you all to myself. Plus, I think Katie likes being the only one who really knows about us.”

Brooke lay there quietly for a minute, stroking Sam’s hair. “I’m not ashamed of you, you know. I’m not ashamed of what we have together. If we were in high school still, I would have cared. But now, I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I mean, we’re going to graduate from college this year! If, at this point, I was still so preoccupied with what everyone else thought, I’d never be happy.”

Sam propped herself up on one elbow so she could see Brooke’s face. “I’m not ashamed of you, either, Brooke. You know that, right? I love you, and I don’t care who knows it. I’ll happily shout it from the rooftops, if you want. In fact, maybe we should start right now. I LOVE BROO--” Sam started to shout, before Brooke clamped her hand down over Sam’s mouth.

Laughing, Brooke briefly replaced her hand with her lips. She then pulled back and commented, “We don’t have to start right this second, you goof. We have plenty of time. I like having you all to myself too. I just thought I’d bring up the idea.”

Sam smiled, moving to kiss Brooke again. It was a simple kiss, but it felt electric to Sam. Because it was Brooke, and everything with Brooke was amazing.

[ I love this woman so much. I don’t know what I’ve done to possibly deserve her. ]

“We’ll tell them all soon,” Sam promised. “Friends, the family unit, everyone important. But you’re right. We do have plenty of time, because I plan on sticking around for quite a while. You’re not going to get rid of me easily.”

“Oh really? Well that’s good. Because I plan on sticking around for...oh, I don’t know. How about forever?”

Both girls lay there for a moment, simply staring into each other’s eyes and smiling.

“I like the sound of forever.”

[ If, after that crazy night freshman year, you had told me that I’d end up feeling like this, I’d have said you were insane, but...forever sounds perfect. ]

  
 **THE END!**


End file.
